Life Decisions

The eager young man fidgeted in his seat as he vacillated between wanting to hear about his new life and not wanting to give up his old one. The angel who had brought him to this place informed him that his journey from unborn soul to the son of two loving parents was about to begin.

           A large screen seemed to appear out of nowhere. There was no projector and certainly no television, leaving the spirit to wonder exactly how he would view the life that was set before him. Suddenly, and without warning, images between to appear on the screen like the handwriting on the wall at Belshazzar’s feast in the book of Daniel. As he looked around for whatever was producing the story he was about to see, the angel admonished him to focus on the vision and worry less about how it was being penned. He was obedient and settled in to watching what his life on earth would be like.

           The first image that appeared on the panoramic screen before him was that of his mother. She was a beautiful young woman and he was enthralled by her physical characteristics. From her smooth, honey-colored skin and dark brown eyes to her long, flowing black hair and small delicate hands, she seemed the picture of perfection. Her long legs looked like they belonged to a model or a goddess and the spirit thought to himself that she could easily be either. The portrait of the lady was complete when she smiled and rays of sunlight seemed to peek out from behind her glistening white teeth. She spoke, but there was no sound, and the man who could soon be her son tried in vain to read her lips. She seemed to be calling someone’s name as she repeated herself a few more times. Finally another figure, the one she had been calling, appeared.

           This, Nigel thought, must be my father. He was tall, more than 6’, with dark chocolate skin that perfectly complimented his companion’s. His build was not muscular, but he looked as though he was no stranger to the gym. His bald head shined in the light of the camera and the waves of sun left over from the woman’s smile were picked up and carried on into infinity by his. If the mother were a goddess, then surely this man must be a god. This handsome pair, whom Nigel was told were called Monica and Adrian, were to be his parents and, with only this peaceful scene in mind, it seemed like the perfect family.

           Then Nigel’s next life experience began. It was the story of his birth and showed his mother breathing heavily and sweating, clinging to his father’s hand as her clothes and hair clung to her body. There were doctors and nurses flittering around and the bright lights of the hospital’s birthing room were almost blinding. Without sound, the entire scene looked absurd, but Nigel knew better than to laugh so he sat patiently while the angel watched him closely and the images seemed to crawl by. Finally, there was the image of him being placed in his father’s arms. After only a moment had gone by, Adrian handed him off to Monica and left the room. Nigel smiled up at his mother, not yet seeing anything to cry about, but was soon taken away from her and placed in the bed that would be his home for the next few months, just as all premature babies. Weighing only 4 pounds at birth, it was hard to believe that the strapping young boy in the rest of the story was this same tiny baby.

           The next scene began when he was a toddler, no more than 2-years-old. He could tell from the looks on his parents’ faces that they were upset and the rapid movement of their lips and hands inferred an argument but, without sound, he couldn’t make out what they were fighting about. The last thing he was able to glimpse before the scene ended was Adrian’s hand rising in the air. Instinctively, he suspected what was about to happen, but he was transported to a scene where he was a high school student before he could see where it would land, and he didn’t dare ask his companion.

           In the next scene, he must have been a senior because he was being measured for his cap and gown and taking senior pictures. His mother stood proudly by him while his father was nowhere in sight. This time, he could clearly read his mother’s lips as she smiled mightily at him. I wish your father could be here for this, she said. Why can’t he?, Nigel wanted to ask, but the young man in the story already knew and so he didn’t ask, leaving Nigel again in the dark. He turned to ask the meaning of this latest evolution from the angel, but was told firmly to continue to watch the screen. The angel knew that all necessary things would become apparent soon. The image faded to black and then another scene started, this one with Monica as an elderly woman and Nigel as an adult, ages 57 and 35 respectively according to the heading that preceded the scene.

           As the two of them sat on the porch of their home, a man with a cane slowly approached them. Monica squinted and called out, Who is it?, but there was no answer. Nigel thought that, even with the cane, the walk seemed oddly familiar, but he just couldn’t place it. Finally, he was able to get a good look at the man’s face and he knew immediately that it was Adrian. He glanced at his mother, but she was already rising from her seat. She and Adrian had an exchange that Nigel the observing spirit couldn’t make out, but which seemed to be perfectly clear to his image on the porch. When his mother headed for the front door, the image tried to stop her. After more unintelligible conversation between them, Monica disappeared into the house and Nigel went to talk to his father.

           A few words were distinguishable, but ‘son’, ‘sorry’, and ‘hurt’ were the most prevalent. The two men were about to embrace when Monica appeared in the doorway with an object in her hand that was only clear to the men with whom she shared the screen. Adrian’s eyes grew wide as Nigel tried to approach his mother and talk to her. She shook her head, throwing tears from both her eyes equally as she marched stealthily toward Adrian. Nigel tried to stop her, but was powerless against her anger and so found himself sandwiched between the two people that had given him life. The close up shot of the couple and their son gave Nigel the spirit a clear opportunity to read their lips.

           How dare you come back around here now?, Monica asked through clenched teeth. Haven’t you done enough hurting around here?

           I’m sorry, Nigel replied. I never mean to hurt you or our son. It was just hard for me. I told you that we weren’t going to have a story book life. I told you to get rid of him.

           And I told you, Monica replied, that I wasn’t going to kill my child, the child that you and I made out of love, just because it didn’t fit into your life’s plan. It was God’s plan, not mine or yours.

           Do you honestly think God wanted us to have a child out of wedlock when we were barely out of college? I don’t think even God would have laid that burden upon us.

           Well, you’re not God and neither am I, so don’t you presume to tell me what He does or does not lay upon anybody. How dare you even show your face around here again?

           I just wanted to see you and the boy.

           He’s a man now, Adrian, and he has been for a long time, no thanks to you. He’s a man because I gave up my life to make sure he turned out to be a better man than you, one who doesn’t think hitting his child’s mother is the way to solve an argument. Why don’t you just go away and leave us alone now?

           I can’t do that, Monica. My conscience has been gnawing at my soul for 33 years and I’ve got to settle this thing.

           Let me settle it for you.

           With that, Monica took a step back from her husband and son and aimed a revolver at Adrian’s chest. Since you think you have a closer relationship with God than anybody else, put in a good word for me when you get there, she said before pulling the trigger.

           The bullet moved in slow motion across the screen and Nigel the spirit watched the scene in horror. His horrified look turned to utter disbelief when he saw that the bullet planted itself in his own chest as he moved in front of his father to protect him. The scene faded to black, but that image remained burned into his subconscious and he was literally shivering by the time the angel spoke.

           “It’s time to sign your life contract, Nigel,” the angel that given him this assignment said as she handed him a piece of paper with a lot of writing and a pen. When he didn’t immediately reach out for them, she spoke again. “You have to decide now. Monica and Adrian are awaiting your birth.”

           After a long pause, Nigel spoke. “I don’t know if I can accept that. I want to give my mother the joy of having a son, but I’m afraid of the way my life will end.”

           “The fear of the future should never hinder the present, Nigel. Your life will be whatever is written. There is no guarantee that you will have a better life if you abstain from this one.”

           “I realize that, but I cannot turn that woman into a murderer. Either she will kill me at age 35 or before I am born, but I will not be responsible for either.” Nigel rose from his seat and said the required phrase that would allow him to return to his pre-life: “I abstain from life at this time based on the experiences of that life that I have viewed here today and choose to remain unborn. I understand that I am not guaranteed a more acceptable life in the future, but still choose to abstain until such a time as another life is proposed.” With that, his escort angels returned him to his room and the seeds of discontent began to blossom in Monica’s womb. She and Adrian would pay a visit to the clinic by the week’s end and Nigel would one day be another woman’s son.