Cruel love: Flings and Devotions

This is my worst nightmare- I’m still trying to figure this out. 

It’s meaning quite disturbing, shakes me to my core and at the same time, the morbidity it implies.

A bright sunny day, high warmed breeze delicately brushing the tops of the dunes, where you can vaguely see a waving and sometimes whirlwind skimming the suntanned creamy ethereal two toned sand. 

The wind howling in the background seemed to be playing a new melody ‘Here comes the Bride’ with a sad hint, almost eerie and Halloween type of music. 

The bride; white dressed that once walked down the isle; looking proud and happy, was all dressed black, no shoes, bared feet, her looks down snd sad, hold a black see through veil. On her hands, holding a bouquet of dead dried flowers. I could almost see the flowers kinda started to disintegrate, being pushed diagonally down to the floor. The long black wedding dress was tenderly fluffing the bottom of the black wedding dress lifting it up to allow me to noticed she had no shoes.

I tried to call her, trying to make her turn her head and look at me, with a chance to look at her and recognize that dad down looking and totally devastated heart broken woman.

She didn’t listen nor pay attention to my call. 

She just continued walking.

She just continued walking down the isle.

The next thing I know, my alarm sounds, time to get ready for work.

Funny fact, when I woke up, I noticed I had my hands on top of my stomach, my hands together like holding something- perhaps a bouquet of flowers. 

That day somehow was the longest day of work; super quiet and slow, time seemed to move slow. The phone didn’t ring off the hook. 

Long day ahead.

And myself; like a dog waiting to be unleash and let off to catch their prey.

Finally the end of my day work comes; packed up my stuff and embarque on my long trip back home. On my way home, I stopped at the supermarket to get some healthy food and fresh fruit. I wanted to continue the rest of my dream. Wanted to see with my own eyes the end of it. It was hard though, had the tv off and soft lights. Nothing was going to stop us now.

Myself, the bed and my thoughts.

Exhausted and tired, slowly fell asleep without noticing it.

The once white proud walking bride; this time, was wearing a black wedding type dress, still looking straight, with a fixed look towards the end of the road, of course this road had no end. I could see her feet, no shoes when the brisk wind attempted to lift up the tail of her black opaque dress. No shoes. Bare naked feet. Her skin pale, no life, no sweat, no nothing. Her bouquet, of dead flowers, stood barely moving. No life. No Hope.

As she walked away, the tail of her dress revealed a mirror as she slowly walked down the isle. A very shy, almost shy bright light started to shine, which caught my attention started to shine brighter as the black dressed bride walked away.

I quickly ran down the dune to go up again to the top where the bright looking mirror was left behind. I looked around to see if something was coming after her or if it was dropped on purpose.

The mirror was kinda dusty. Old. Worn out. 

I was afraid it might break in my hands. My curiosity increased as I got closer to look what it was showing as their own reflection.  As I got closer to the mirror, I noticed the once bright sunny sky turned into a cloudy grey sky. The wind picked up. The clouds projected it’s dark thoughts and desires on the sand. 

An eerie feeling started to invade my body, my brain, my thoughts.

I looked closer into the mirror.

I saw a woman that looked like me, exactly the same way I was dressing, blue jeans, T-shirt and a hat, sunglasses. 

She looked sad and overwhelmed with sorrow and pain. It seemed that woman noticed I was looking at her. The woman turned around to look at me through the mirror. She got shocked by my looking at her through the mirror. She looked back to the distance and lowered her head.

She let her body to kneel down. 

I continue watching through the mirror. I wonder what was next to come.

The lady in black immediately pulled out a knife, her move made me back up from the mirror. I got concerned.

There was no wind, no sound; like every thing around just stopped waiting for my next move.

She looked at me and out of nowhere, she pulled out a knife.

She looked back at me, with really fixed eyes. Her eyes were total black. No life. No brightness whatsoever.

Then she looked back at me.

As she looked back at me, she grabbed the knife and cut her throat across. Exposing her wound and the blood running down her throat. 

As her wound opened and got exposed, maggots and worms came out of the wound as her body slowly kneeling down fell to the sand convulsing and trying to get back to life. 

Horrified I tried to call her, to stop, but no voice came out.

I contemplated her slowly die, not being able to save her nor yell to her to stop. I saw her catatonic body welcome the dead and her soul leave her body. As her final breath left her body, the sky cleared up.

The sun high up in the sky spread its warm and the goodness came back to live.

I heard a voice calling my name that made me snap out of my dream.

My tv was just on. Really?

I don’t remember leaving it on.

I went to take a warm shower.

I needed it.

I didn’t want to come out of the shower. It had a relaxing effect on my body. 

The warm shower created a mist fog that covered my mirror.

As I cleaned the mirror, I noticed red deep red lines and marks on my neck, right were I saw the woman cut her throat. 

The nails on my fingers were red and had some blood in them…..

The entire day I was not able to swallow…..

Anything 

It hurt so much…..