2 comments

African American Coming of Age Fiction

This story contains sensitive content

Friday May 18th, 2012

“All aboard for the last bullet train to all connecting departures from the International Station in Austin, Texas. Please have your tickets and boarding passes ready for scanning,” said the conductor over the intercom.

“Sir, please can you help me?” Jacob called out frantically, running towards the conductor. “I think I dropped my ticket and boarding pass when I left platform fifty-two about ten minutes ago. Here’s my receipt, sir.”

Jacob ponders over his thoughts as the conductor verifies the receipt. “I really need to get to Austin to make my cousin’s graduation from Texas State tomorrow. This is a really important visit, sir,” Jacob explained.

“Son, I understand,” the conductor replied sympathetically. “But I’m afraid you need an actual ticket and boarding pass for this train. No transfers allowed, Jacob.”

Jacob, caught off guard. “Wait, how do you know my name?” he asked, lowering his voice.

“It’s at the bottom of this receipt,” the conductor pointed out.

“Oh, yeah! Here’s my ID as well,” Jacob said as he reached into his back pocket for his photo ID.

The conductor examined the ID and hands it back. “Thank you for verifying this. But again, you need the physical ticket and boarding pass for our trains. Without those two items, you are prohibited from traveling with Amtrak Express.”

The conductor handed Jacob's belongings back. “Have a good day, son!”

“Last call for the 2:50 PM bullet train to all connecting departures from the Austin International Station to San Antonio, Texas. Last call!” Announced the conductor.

Jacob stood there, left in a trance. “Oh my God. Why today?” Jacob muttered, holding his hands behind his back and gripping his right wrist in a state of confusion.

“Hey, Jacob Mitchell!” a voice shouted from the exit near platform fifty-two.

Jacob spinning around, looking for the unfamiliar voice calling his name. A fairly tall, average-looking man was speed-walking toward his direction, holding a clear plastic bag.

“Hi, do I know you?” Jacob asked, confused.

“No, you don’t. But we were sitting on the same platform fifty minutes ago. I noticed you dropped these from the back pocket,” the man said, handing the bag to Jacob.

Jacob’s eyes widened with a sigh of relief rushingto his tear ducts. He reached for the bag, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“No problem at all,” said the man. “It’s happened to me last family reunion. It happens to the best of us.”

“The doors are now closing for the last bullet train to San Antonio, Texas,” the intercom blared.

“Oh SHIT!” Jacob shouted, sprinting away from the man to the conductor. “I have my ticket and boarding pass, sir.”

“Looks like you do, Jacob Mitchell. You’re in Car D, Assigned Seat A (Window Seat). Please head there now; bon voyage,” the conductor directed.

Jacob ventured off to his assigned seat without any hesitation. “Excuse me, excuse me, sir and ma’am. I’m so sorry, just trying to get to my seat,” he said as he scrambled to find this assigned seat.

“Young man,” a woman waved to get Jacob’s attention. “What section are you in?”

“I’m in Car D,” Jacob answered.

“That will be two cars straight back that way. You’re in Car B,” the woman explained.

“Thanks, ma’am!”

“No problem. Have a nice day! Don’t forget your carry-on behind you,” said the woman, as Jacob smiled back, slightly embarrassed.

From the overhead speakers came the announcement: “Please take your assigned seat. We will be departing in eight minutes. Thank you for choosing Amtrak Express!”

Jacob weaved past other passengers to get to his seat. “Well, that only took like 50 steps,” he sighed with relief from mental exhaustion. Jacob tossed his bags over the top of his seating area without any regard for the passenger coming out of the restroom behind him.

“Oh shit, Jacob. You almost took me out there,” a voice said.

Jacob sank into his seat, puzzled, thinking that the voice sounded familiar. Four footsteps inched closer to him. Towering over him was the man from platform fifty-two.

“If you were trying to take me out, at least buy me dinner first,” the man said with a confident grin.

Jacob stared back awkwardly, his chin tucked into his chest because of how random and awkward his Friday had been. Catching his racing thoughts, Jacob finally responded. “Ummm…I’m so sorry. I never got a chance to thank you back there…guy who wears slim-fit jeans and flannel long-sleeve shirts in the summertime.”

“Yeah, it’s a vibe, I guess. I’m originally from Maine. So when I moved down here three years ago, I never updated my wardrobe. It just reminds me of the home I never want to go back to.”

“Interesting story there,” Jacob tried to remember the man’s name. “Sorry, but I forgot your name.”

“Well, hello. My name is Derek. It’s nice to meet you, Jacob.”

Jacob thought to himself that Derek was a much better name than "average joe," which is what he had been calling him in his mind.

Derek burst into laughter. “I’m average now? That’s a new one since I’ve turned twenty-three,” he joked as he leaned back into his assigned seat, which happened to be in the same row as Jacob. Lowering his voice, Derek asked, “You really think I’m an average joe?”

“Well, yeah! If I had to make a police report after almost getting abducted on this train and you got away, I’d say you were a six-foot, brown-skinned man with an average joe look who wore flannel and jeans in the summertime. Actually, that would have been my tweet of the year,” Jacob said, rubbing his hands over his pockets, searching for his cellphone.

“Wooooowwww!!! This is going to be a long two-hour train ride,” said Derek. “By the way, your cellphone is in your carry-on. You threw it in your bag when you ran from me.”

Jacob reach for his bags, then smiled at Derek, shaking his head because he was embarrassed yet again. “You’re just so attentive to details. Just like a Dexter would be.”

Derek laughed. “I am not a murderer, nor do I plan on murdering you.”

“That’s what they all say,” Jacob replied sarcastically. “It’s a coincidence that all this is happening to me today, of all days.”

The train shook during Jacob’s outburst, but Derek just sat there, amused.

“It’s a little serendipitous, don’t you think, Jacob? You’re here, and I’m here. On this freaky friday. And we’re both going to Texas State at the same time,” Derek pointed out.

Jacob turned his head to face Derek. “And you’re going to San Antonio?”

“Yeah, to personally turn in my transcripts from Maine State University and finish my financial aid before August. I really want to go back to school for Food Science this year,” Derek explained.

“Well, that’s dope,” Jacob admitted.

“I don’t mean too direct, even though that’s the vibe you’ve been giving this entire trip. But are you seeing anyone?” Derek asked, his tone shifting to something more serious.

Jacob’s face took on a red hue under his chocolate brown skin as he processed the unexpected question. “That’s bold of you, Derek. But how did you know to ask? Or do you just ask everybody?”

“No! I saw your pride flag sticker on the back of your ticket holder. Next to the Yoncé sticker. I figured you were either an ally or proud of who you are,” Derek said, his explanation was mature and thoughtful.

Jacob was taken aback. “Well, no, I’m not seeing anyone since the start of spring. What about you, Derek? Are you an ally?”

“I’m a reformed ally since leaving Maine three years ago. Now, I’m more open about myself for my better self. Life has felt better that way…at times,” Derek shared.

“Yeah, Austin is a cool place to be who you are,” Jacob agreed. As they bonded over similar life struggles, Jacob signaled with his right hand for Derek to join him in his section.

“Well, thank you, Jacob, for inviting me over. The speed of the train was making it difficult to hear you,” Derek said as he moved closer.

“Same,” Jacob replied. “After mentioning how my mother thought I was staying up late to watch anime hentai on Cartoon Network, when it was Sailor Moon (Uncut). And she always to popped up during the transformation cutscenes. I still die a little inside thinking about those days.”

Derek tried his hardest not to laugh at Jacob’s story, but hearing it verbatim a second time made it harder to control his emotions. Derek spiraled into laughter in front of Jacob.

“Derek, we’re being a little too loud,” Jacob whispered.

“Sorry!! You’re just funny as hell,” Derek said, looking into Jacob’s light brown eyes.

Jacob, a little flustered, slid over the vinyl-coated nylon seat towards the window. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Derek said quickly.

“No, you didn’t. Just making room for you,” Jacob replied, smiling back at Derek.

“Thanks.” Derek said as he settled in beside Jacob.

As the bullet train sped towards San Antonio, the city skyline gradually began to rise in the distance. The atmosphere inside the train car was a mix of quiet anticipation and the soft hum of travelers gathering their belongings, preparing for the journey’s end. Jacob and Derek, now seated comfortably and silently beside eachother.

Jacob broke the silence first. “So, Derek, you mentioned you’re going to San Antonio to handle paperwork for school. Do you have any plans? Or heading back to Austin afterwards?”

Derek glanced over at Jacob, a small smile tugging at his lip. “I’m actually staying for the weekend. I figured I’d check out the River Walk, maybe visit some museums. It’s been a while since I’ve done the whole tourist thing.”

“Sounds fun. The River Walk is beautiful this time of year,” Jacob said, nodding. “My cousin’s graduation is tomorrow, but after, I don’t have anything planned.”

Derek’s smile grew a little wider. “Maybe we could explore the city together? If you don’t mind some company.”

Jacob felt a flutter in his chest, a mix of excitement and nervousness. “I’d like that. It would be nice to have someone to hang with, especially since I don’t know the city that well.”

“Great! We can start with the River Walk,” Derek suggested. “Maybe grab dinner at one of the restaurants there?”

“Dinner sounds perfect,” Jacob agreed. “But I have to warn you, I’m a foodie, so I might drag you to a bunch of different places.”

Derek chuckled. “I’m all for it. I love trying new foods. It’s one of the reasons I want to study Food Science.”

Jacob raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What got you into that? I mean, it’s not exactly a common field of study these days.”

Derek leaned back in his seat, thinking. “It started when I was a kid. My grandmother used to cook these amazing meals, and I was always fascinated by how she could take simple ingredients and turn them into something incredible. As I got older, I started experimenting in the kitchen myself, trying to recreate her recipes and eventually coming up with my own.”

“That’s really cool,” Jacob said, genuinely impressed. “I’ve always admired people who can cook. I’m more of an ‘order takeout’ kind of guy.”

The train’s PA system crackled to life, announcing their imminent arrival in San Antonio. “Attention passengers, we will be arriving at San Antonio Station in approximately ten minutes. Please make sure you have all of your belongings and prepare to disembark.”

Jacob and Derek both looked at each other, a hint of disappointment in their eyes as they realized their time together was coming to an end. “Ten minutes, huh?” Jacob said, a bit of wistfulness in his voice.

“Yeah,” Derek sighed, “but it doesn’t have to be the end. We’ve got the whole weekend.”

“True,” Jacob agreed. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

They lapsed into silence again, but it was a comfortable one, each of them lost in thought about what the weekend might bring. As the train began to slow down, Derek leaned in a little closer to Jacob, his shoulder brushing against Jacob.

“You know,” Derek began, his voice low and almost hesitant, “I was not sure what to expect when I saw you drop your ticket back on the platform. I debated for a second whether to run after you or just mind my own business.”

Jacob turned to face him, curiosity piqued. “What made you decide to come after me?”

Derek’s gaze met Jacob’s, his eyes sincere. “I guess I just felt like there was something…important about meeting you. Like it was one of those moments that you can’t just ignore. And now, after spending this time together, I’m really glad I didn’t let you walk away.”

Jacob felt a warmth spread through his chest, a mixture of affection and something deeper, something that felt like the beginning of something meaningful. “I’m glad you didn’t either,” he said softly. “This has been…unexpected but really nice.”

Derek smiled, the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners, and Jacob couldn’t help but smile back. “It’s been more than nice,” Derek admitted. “I haven’t felt this comfortable around someone since the beginning of my last situationship.”

The train began to pull into the station, the outside world coming into sharper focus as they neared the platform. “We should exchange numbers,” Jacob suggested, almost nervously. “You know, so we can coordinate for dinner and stuff.”

“Absolutely,” Derek agreed, pulling out his phone. They exchanged numbers, both feeling a bit of relief that they now.

As they gathered their belongings, Derek looked at Jacob with a playful glint in his eye. “You know, I’ve got a crazy idea. How about we make this weekend an adventure?”

Jacob, intrigued. “What kind of adventure?”

“Well, since you said you don’t know the city that well, how about we just…wander? It could be fun, and who knows what we might discover?” Derek suggested.

Jacob thought about it, then grinned. “I’m in.”

The train came to a full stop, and the doors open to the warm Texas air. Passengers began to file out, but Jacob and Derek lingered a bit longer. Neither one quite ready to step off the train and leave the bubble of connection they had created.

“So,” Derek said, shouldering his bag, “shall we?”

Jacob nodded, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. “Let’s go.”

As they stepped off the train’s platform, the city of San Antonio spread out before them, full of possibilities. They walked side by side, matching each other’s pace, the conversation flowing between them as they made their way out of the station.

“So, where should we go first?” Jacob asked as they exited the station, the bustling streets of San Antonio welcoming them with open arms.

“How about we start with a coffee?” Derek suggested. “I know a café not too far up from here. It’s got a great atmosphere, and it’ll give us a chance to plan.”

“Perfect,” Jacob agreed, feeling a sense of excitement inside him.

They walked through the city, the sun shining, casting long shadows on the pavement. As they reached the café, Derek held the door open for Jacob, who smiled in thanks Derek as he stepped inside.

The café was cozy, with warm lighting and a relaxed atmosphere. They found a table by the window, where they could people-watch as they sipped their drinks. Derek ordered a cappuccino, while Jacob opted for a lite iced hazelnut latte.

As they waited for their drinks, Derek looked at Jacob, his expression thoughtful. “You know, I wasn’t kidding when I said I felt like meeting you was important. There’s something about you, Jacob. Something that makes me feel like this isn’t just a random encounter.”

Jacob felt a blush creep up his skin. “I feel the way. It’s like…we were supposed to meet. Like it was meant to happen.”

Their drinks arrived, and they both took a moment to savor the first sip. “So,” Derek said, setting his cup down, “what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance?”

Jacob thought for a moment. “I’ve always wanted to try paddleboarding. I’ve seen people doing it on Lady Bird Lake in Austin, and it looks like so much fun.”

Derek lit up. “That’s sounds like fun! I’ve done it a few times, and it’s a blast. We should find a place in San Antonio that does paddleboard rentals.”

Jacob’s smile widened. “I’m gamed.”

“Then it’s settled,” Derek said, raising his cup to a toast. “Here’s to a great weekend.”

After finishing their coffee, they headed out into the city, ready to embrace whatever came their way. They laughed and joked as they navigated the streets.

Hours flew by, and before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden glow over them. As they walked along the river, the lights reflecting off the water, Derek turned to Jacob, his expression serious.

“Jacob, this will sound crazy, but I feel like we’ve got something here. Something worth exploring.”

Jacob looked at Derek, his heart pounding. “I think you’re right. This weekend has been amazing. I kind of want to see where this goes, whatever ‘this’ is.”

Derek smiled, a look of relief and happiness on his face. “I’m glad you feel that way. Let’s take it one step at a time and see where this weekend leads us.”

As they walked back to their hotel, hand in hand, both of them knew that this could be the beginning of something special. They had found each other in the most unexpected way, and it’s all because of Amtrak’s assign seating.

A Story By: SuperExtrovert

August 31, 2024 03:58

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Jon Fogelberg
21:41 Sep 04, 2024

Here are ten top ways to improve this story: 1. Tighten the pacing: The story starts slowly with excessive detail about the train boarding process. Consider condensing this to get to the main character interaction more quickly. 2. Develop character depth: While Jacob and Derek are likable, their personalities could be more fully fleshed out. Add more background details and personal quirks to make them more three-dimensional. 3. Improve dialogue authenticity: Some of the conversations feel a bit stilted or unrealistic. Work on making the d...

Reply

Wesley Sanders
00:19 Sep 10, 2024

Hi Jon! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my very first prompt here on Reedsy. I've taken sometime to reflect on your informative feedback. Here's my thoughts: This was my first time having a strict word count and I felt it in the end. I had to subtracts 105 words in 75 mins before the deadline. I made the flow as clean as I could. Develop character depth & Improve dialogue authenticity: I feel like I created or displayed great three-dimensional characteristics. Given that Jacob was a character who was awkward, independ...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.