The secret

This story contains mentions of sexual violence, death, and a very clearly mentally disturbed individual as well as a fair amount of swearing.

I slip my hood on, not wanting to be recognised, washing the blood from my hands. My entire body in pain from the mans attack. I couldn’t believe this was the first time id ever been touched like that. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t deal with it. He deserved to die.

“He deserved it, youll be fine, everyone will be fine, you need to leave” I murmur to myself before pushing open the door. The light hits my eyes and I avert my face, not wanting to be seen. Not wanting them to know. I take a tentative step, my privates still hurting from the brutal attack, smiling at the feel of his genitals in my pocket.

My best friend stops me in the hallway, her hands on my shoulder.

“Whats going on? Are you okay?” I look at her, cringing as the shock washes over her face as she sees mine. She knows. I push her out of the open window behind her, she cant tell anyone. Her scream echoes until I hear the thud. Then… silence.

I pull my backpack onto my back, walking along again, a teacher poking their head out of a classroom.

“Is everything okay?” I nod, not making eye contact as I enter the elevator. I can feel my phone buzzing with notifications in my pocket.

“They know” the gravelly whisper fills my head as the door opens, I push past the man trying to walk in, knocking him over.

“You cant escape” the voice continues as I make my way towards my locker, putting in my locker code.

“Everyone knows” I grab my belongings, emptying the locker into my backpack. I wont be back. I look around, no one is nearby. I pull out the knife, slipping it through the slats into his locker.

“how could he kill himself if the knifes here?” the voice taunts, making me feel stupid.

“shut up, shut up, SHUT UP” my scream fills the building, the sobs wracking my body as I collapse against the locker, my eyes close and my world goes black.

I wake up in the nurses office, my bag was gone, the voice ever persistent.

“she knows, you need to get out” I slam my fists into my head, trying to escape the voice, picking up some scissors, letting them slide into the nurse with a satisfying pop.

“RUN” I hear the voice, sprinting out of the office, looking around anxiously for where to go, gripping the bloody scissors for dear life.

“Hey are you – woah what happened?” my scissors stop him from talking again, sliding through his throat satisfyingly, he cant talk, he cant tell anyone. I slam into the elevator wall, my body aching, my mind determined.

“Theyre coming for you” the voice causes me to scream to myself in the elevator, banging my hand against the wall, ignoring the blood that appears where my head was and the throbbing in my forehead where id been hitting it.

“stupid, stupid, STUPID” the doors open, students stand at them, staring at me, their mouths open. I push past them.

“they know” the voice is screaming now, but its wrong. They don’t know, they cant know. They aren’t allowed to know. I breathe out, stepping into the toilets, washing my face with cold water and then staring at the bloody scissors. I throw them in the bin, I don’t need them. I slowly walk out, opening the door to the toilets, stepping out into the harsh light.

“theyre coming for you.” I close my eyes, feeling people walk past me, my entire body frozen in place. I cant do this, I cant escape this. Someone pushes me and I snap.

“Cant you fucking see?” I growl, instantly regretting it. No, theyre going to see me, theyre going to know, I need to get out of here. I need to escape. I turn to leave, too late. The person grabs my shoulders, shaking me as he yells in my face.

“The fuck did you just say to me?” I shudder, he sounds like him. I scream, slamming my face into the mans face, feeling and hearing the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking. He screams, holding his face as I smile in satisfaction.

“Get out of here” I gulp at the voice, turning to leave the area.

I begin to walk down the hallway, my shoes thudding on the ground.

My footsteps pound in my ears as I walk down the hallway, filling my senses. It feels as though all eyes are on me, theyre all looking at me. I know theyre not. They cant. I continue walking, my eyes glued to the ground. If they see my face theyll know. They cant know, no one can. If they knew theyd never look at me the same. I touch my mouth, still feeling where he had stretched it, the pain clear on my lips.

“He deserved it” I shut my eyes as the voice begins to agree with me, not wanting to hurt anyone else. I whimper softly as I walk, the fear coursing through my veins, mingling with my pain to create the unbridled rage that was controlling my thoughts and actions.

"Hey, are you okay man?" I crash into someone, pushing my way past and taking off at a run, my footsteps pounding in time with my heart. I can feel them chasing me, hear their cries,

"Face what youve done!" I cant, I can never face it, i can never go back. His grunt and his blood bursting from the wound flash across my face. I burst out of the front door, running out onto the street, not looking as I try to run across, ignoring the busy street, just wanting to escape the building before someone realised. They cant know.

The car hits me before I hear the horn or see the lights. As I lay there, my life slowly ebbing from my body, I smile.

No one will ever know.