MOVING DAY

by

Jessica Mishan Denna

It was move in day for the dorms at San Francisco State University. A day that any college bound student looked forward to, it marked the first day of their newfound adulthood and independence. For most they were leaving the safety of the only home they knew and were setting off into the world for the first time.

And with Nina, she was no exception.

Nina had been a homebody all throughout her academic career. It wasn't like she didn't have any friends; she had some, but she was more comfortable at home with family than she ever was when out with people her own age. So, the idea she would be living away from home excited her, but she was also admittedly nervous considering she wouldn't be able to just go home whenever she wanted.

She had stayed up far too late the night before the big move, finishing up the last bit of laundry she had to do before she and her parents headed to San Francisco in the morning to move her in. She wasn't too concerned however, considering Nina was a bit of a night owl and would often stay up until the early hours of the morning only to have to get up a couple of hours later to go to school or work.

Of course, that night however, she had been restless, nervous about the day ahead of her and what her life would be like over in the city. She had anticipated her alarm going off and turned it off before it had even had a chance to blast one note in her quiet room. As she turned it off, however, she heard a soft. "Good morning."

It was her mother, looking in at her with a soft smile, her hair still messy from the night before. Nina muttered a quiet "good morning," in return, but not quite ready to get out of her warm bed.

Her mother, usually quick to tell her to get up, walked into the dark room where only the slightest bit of light was beginning to seep in from the cracks in the blinds. She then did something she hadn't done in a long time and crawled into bed with Nina, wrapping her in her arms.

Neither Nina nor her mother spoke, it was a big day for them both. Nina held onto her mother burying her head into her neck, smelling her scented body powder. She didn't need anything else at that moment, she just needed her mother. And she was there for her as she always had, and always would be.

However, the bed was proving too small for both Nina and her mother to stay there indefinitely, and they had a day to get started. "I have some breakfast going, come get it when you're ready." Nina nodded as her mother kissed her forehead and walked out the door but not before giving Nina a wink and shutting the door behind her.

"Nina?"

"Nina."

Nina's eyes jerked open, sitting up she looked around her room confused, had she fallen asleep and missed breakfast? But as she looked to the door of her bedroom where she had expected her mother to be chastising her for falling back asleep, she saw her father and reality had set back in.

Mom was gone, and Nina had been dreaming. Nina looked at her father who looked like he had aged ten years overnight. They had got the call around six the night before from the distraught doctor, who had up until that point had been so optimistic of her mother's chances. Things had taken a turn, and now her mother, Patricia, was the second person to die from Covid-19 in Napa County.

"We are going to the funeral home today to-" Her father's voice caught and Nina nodded, not wanting her father to cry again, but knowing that was all but inevitable at the moment. He left her doorway to allow her to change.

Nina got dressed, her head still trying to wrap around everything that was going on, but as she was just about to finish getting dressed, she could hear her father on the phone with someone.

"Can we just, can we just see her?" He asked whoever was on the other line. Nina walked into the kitchen to see her father sitting at the kitchen table, looking even more crestfallen than she thought was humanly possible. He was listening intently to whomever was on the other end and just muttered an "okay, thank you." And hung up the phone, Nina asked.

"What was that?"

"That was the funeral home, due to the constrictions, we cannot see her." Her father looked at her defeated, "they won't allow us to see her." It felt like another brick hitting her chest, they were not able to see her while she was sick, they weren't there when she passed and now, they couldn't even see her body. It was as if she had left the house last Saturday and just hadn't come home yet. None of it felt real.

Nina closed the gap between herself and her father and just hugged him. What else was there to do or say in that moment? They both were in so much pain, words seemed meaningless now. Nina kept thinking about the dream she had had the night before and how real it had felt. How she had felt her mother crawl into the bed with her, how strong her body powder had smelled. Maybe it had been her way of telling Nina goodbye.

As Nina went to sleep the following night, she hoped her dreams would be as pleasant of an escape as the ones the night before proved to be. Because reality right now wasn't something she wanted to face. She wanted her mother, she wanted her home, she wanted to hold her, cuddle with her as she had done that day so many years ago. There was nothing that could even begin to describe the pain her absence was causing, her dreams had been pleasant, but her reality felt like a waking nightmare she couldn’t escape. And at that moment, she honestly didn’t think she ever would escape. This was her reality now, and she would have to adapt to survive.

The End.