Mad in-law

" It's not your fault, society is to be blame for this stress you are putting us in. If the society is organized, I won't be shouting like you do for talking to you as my younger brother" Ngozi, Edwin elder sister thundered out of the compound gate and stormed away heading towards nowhere in particular.

Edwin had called them, all his siblings telling them that his wife he sent back to her father's house three weeks earlier, they needed to accompany him to her Father's house to see her people and tell them that he is no longer interested. 

" You are no longer interested again? And this is your second wife. First one, two issues, you are no longer interested, this second again with three issues, you are no longer interested again. Where is the guarantee that the third one you will be interested. Nah, we must not follow you to anywhere. You are going to go there and ask your wife to enter that car you packed over there and bring her and the kids back here. Outside that, no one is following you anywhere?" His elder sister had thundered refusing to hear anything coming from him as excuse for the break up. 

Pissed that his sister was talking to him in the manner she was doing in the presence of three kindred men and his father as if he was ten years old. Taken aback by her outburst, he had recovered and sent his own missile towards her sister in anger and not only that what was dropping from his mouth were all unprintable, the three kindred men and his father and two younger sister all there had been shaking by words directed at his elder sister. "Ashawo, city harlot, I don't expect you to see the reasons and sense in what i was saying because that woman you people call my wife is of the same character as you. I would have been surprised if you had not reacted as you do. Anywhere, whether you are following us or not, we are going there tomorrow morning by 8:30" he said and was looking around for support. 

But the faces with some of the mouth on them dropped open told him he had shot that one off mark by far and to save face as he saw it, he sat with a force on the wooden chair and the sound the chair made will tell you that something gave way somewhere in its composition. 

The eldest of the kinsmen were the first to talk since the face of the boy's father is still purple from shock he witnessed from the son in quasi public. From the look of things, he wasn't expecting it or believed that Eddy, his son as he calls him, is capable of disgracing his dead wife as he sees his first daughter in public in the manner he just did.

"We must trade softly to avoid detailing. From the manner we started this gathering, we have seen that our ancestors are not in support of this gathering for they are not in the habit of breaking what isn't broken. I think we have to start from the one our eyes witnessed before going to the one our ears heard. You need to run after your sister and bring her back to this gathering for she is your mother we the living know now since your mother left us"

Edwin thundered. " run after who?, she might be your mother if you don't know your mother, i know mine and that woman that just left here isn't my mother but a harlot. Who is she to start telling me how to organize my household or when to drop anyone or who to pick up? A woman for that matter not even my father but a woman? Ha! Impossible. I am not running after anyone. You can run after her if you like."

The three kindred eyed the father for long and it seemed as if the reds on his face were getting thicker and clearer and both stood up. "Emm, since we are not even heard when we talk, why are we here then. I think we have to leave for we are here not to mop but to advise as elders of this kindred. If we are talked to like this, I wonder how you want your sister and probably your wife to talk to you. "They turned around and left without the father making any effort to halt them. 

The time was getting to 9 pm when the four remaining there concluded that they will go tomorrow to see his wife's people and tell them as it's in his mind. "I am just going there to tell them my stand, i know she would have finished me before her people so, i needed to tell them my part" he muttered and was eyeing around and his eyes settled on his two sisters both married that sat there their face oozing their discontent with their brother.

As with tradition, he needed to buy a full gallon of palm wine and put a leaf of special tree in it and send to his wife's people signifying his desire to call the union quit. He did not sleep that night, turning from south to north on his bed without knowing why. He still can't see what he has done wrong to warrant this breakup to start in the manner it did. "It's all this witch of a sister's fault" he fumed as he threw himself out of the bed and swaggered like a drunk toward the tiny cubicle their village  toilet is housed in. Half of the pee did not find its mark but landed on its seat. He sighed deeply and cast an angry eyes towards the route his sister walked away from wondering where she is now for she never returned to the house that night. She is married to a man two towns away so, she could not have returned to her husband house that late in the night.

 Community he hails from is perpetually in longer night, shorter day solstice. In the city, 5 am is always bright so you can walk around without electricity or light of any kind. Hundreds are always walking up and down by that time but not in this village, 5am is alway pitch dark and eerily silent. But that is always the time those going for palm wine market always do so or risk returning empty handed. During mass returns, like xmas period they are in, too much ceremony of every emotion is on and culture its first important requirement is palm wine is always a thing to be booked in advance or spend twice the amount others pay for a gallon. Edwin eyed his bed clock and it's still 3:24,  he sighed once more as he fall into bed and wondered why the time isn't running.

He came to and eyed the clock and it was 5:15 am, he sighed and staggered out of the house with a gallon and headed towards the next town where the wine market is located. He wondered why everything seems to be working against him in his quest to terminate this marriage to Rita and marry Cecilia. He narrowed the reason to his elder sister who came with her witchcraft.

The cyclist he entered was playing funny as he dropped him at the wine market. "How do you mean 1500 naira from my town to here?" He asked in high voice. Everyone will leave the city and come back to the village and become a commercial cyclist then. Traders don't make this kind of money in a sell" he barked at the man who seemed to be eyeing him with thick annoyance  and fingering his jack. "Please take your money" he threw 500 naira and turned to leave. A hand that felt like a clipper clapped on his shoulder and held. That sent a tremor all over his system and as he turned, what he saw on the eyes of the transporter sent a jolt of electricity through him. He screamed out and a crowd gathered. They spent another ten minutes arguing it out and when 90% of the people that gathered there were on the cyclist side, market security people asked him to follow them to their office,  he paid the man his full amount and prod off with the security people where he spent another 1k fine and being lectured on the regulations of the market. When he finally freed himself and went to the wine section, half of the dealers had sold their ware and gone home.

After mopping into space for another ten minutes contemplating his ordeal, he narrows it down to his elder sister fault as he bought one gallon of palm wine for 35k and spent thirty minutes waiting for a bus that wasn't anywhere only cyclists. He entered one at same amount and went home.

As he stepped into their compound, he saw his elder sister talking with his father and sisters, he halted before recovering and marched with a frown all over. He eyed them as he entered and dropped the wine. Eyed the time and it was almost 650am. He listened to what their  topic was and its marriages and traditional wedding that took place in that village two days in a row. He sighed silently and searched his memory to know if there was any irony in what they were discussing in relation to his quest. The weather is always dry in December and still dark but people are moving up and down in numbers by that time. 

He recalled he had not greeted the father and did so while pretending his sisters wasn't there. I am their elder,they supposed greet me. He thought as he joined them in the veranda.

He went down to wash his car, a Sienna that can accommodate eight if they seat themselves well. 

" father, do you talk to the three angry kinsmen?" He asked eyeing the father with anticipation. "It isn't my duty, you know tradition to that extent i believe" the father said and frowned. He of course knew tradition to that extent but he has no intention of seeking for anyone's face, he decided that the members of his family will do. He knew the tradition said one kinsmen must be there or else, when he is doing something else, whatever they bill him, he must pay. He is having double mind on how to handle that situation, from the manner the father answered him, he knew he is on the side of the elder sister who still made it clear that she is not in support of the move therefore not going anywhere. The younger ones are going out of sibling loyalty, he can see they are not in support too even if they don't voice it out. He thought of it for long, and decided that he will buy two hungry kins to enter bus even if they don't say anything there.

He disappeared into the village for 35 minutes and came back with two palm head cutting kins. He was surprised how every organized person he entered their compound has excuses that sound as truth for not being available. He was wondering if they held emergency meeting telling anyone not to follow him. He could not believe he spent 20k before the two useless drunks agreed to cancel their day's appointment and joined him. Someone is working against him. 

Returning from Lagos to the east region, seven plus hours if you are a good driver, his car always feels it and in two years he has came home with the car, it has complained one way or the other. He just prays it isn't so this year. The two drunk were even the ones asking  them to hurry that they are engaged here and there. Edwin found that to be insulting but he controlled himself. When six of them finally got to two towns away his wife hails from, they met her and kids but her own kindreds were having a meeting that morning and they have to wait for another two hours before they are through. When they trickled in in twos,  and talk started, Edwin began by asking insulting questions he believed was a sign of knowing his tribal culture. " My inlaws, look at this keg of wine, and then see the leaf in it. I hope you know what that stands for. Some of us don't know anything about culture and tradition anymore. I came..."

"Hold it our inlaw. We are welcoming lots but we don't stomach insults in our own backyards. It's against the culture and of the land you are standing on. Look at those three men there, if you add your age twice, do you think it equals the age of one of them?- of course not. Then times it by three and tell us what you believe you know as Igbo culture they won't know more than your father let alone you. Then look at that two over there, do you think in twenty years your wallet will ever swell up like theirs or the other two, do you think you are educated than them and those two over there, you think you can beat any of them with their one hand tied behind them?- withdraw that your insult first before we continue. If not for the sake of our daughters and her kids, we know how to handle stumblers like you. Apologize first"

He eyed around and out of fear he murmured apology only ten percent claimed their heard. Fear of being descended on by young men that were frowning visibly and eyeing him with annoyance thick enough to be held.

The talk on the reason he was tired of the marriage to their daughter is that he wears short too short for married woman and at times, she will leave the house and returned by 10pm. "What responsible wife does that?" He asked eyeing around for support. When he finally rested his complaint and shortcoming of his wife, one man asked him:

" When you married your wife, what attracted her to you?" He asked him without a trace of laughter on his face. " Was it her senior skirt or her long gowns?, was it her mini skirt and short shorts? Tell us we want to hear"

 He eyed them and eyed his own entourage. His father was looking lost and his two sisters looking into space without focusing on anything in particular.  The two drunks were ones that laughed out loud and gave the speaker thumb up for his words "It's a very shelter, helter and skelter question" one of them shouted in a high voice. And his wife's people smirked loudly after having eyed the two and knew they travelled where it mattered most. In their heads. They eyed their inlaw again and his father who was looking into space.

" There is a difference between married and unmarried. You can't dress this way anymore as a wife. But this woman?"

"Well, since you are into preaching and traditional education, we would like to remind you that what attracts a man attracts a woman too. Your desires and her own should not be expected to be different since both of you have the same souls and body. Expect that what attracts you attracts the person you call your wife."

" my inlaws, are you in support of what he was into in her married family? "

One seventy year old retired principal cleared his throat to attract attention and quieten  the noise. " We hear that she will stand at the road waiting for the bus, you will carry a woman and pass her and say something and your girlfriend will burst into laughter. On two different occasions, it happened. How do you think your so-called wife will feel or you if positions were to be exchanged?"

Edwin was speechless, challenging them with his eyes. The father shivered, eyeing his two daughters who were talking with their eyes without opening their mouths. One of the two drunks said " God forbid. This is incredible, double laughter, double sin, double confession, double apology" Edwin eyed him with annoyance that can melt an iron.

" inlaw, we heard that you even beat her in some occasions. We ask you, have you ever fallen sick you believed something else is behind it?- your answer No, right?. Take your wife home because she is a good woman. If you raise your hand on a bad woman, she will prescribe "slow and steady" for you and cry the most when you die. Since you beat and still eat food she cooks without fear, we don't need any other explanation or complaint. Take your lovely wife and go home. If you don't like short shorts or 10 pm returnees, you lead by example. Show don't tell and there would not have been need to gather here in the first place."

One of the drunks said, had i known his sin is this thick, i would have requested for 20k to show face here, i only asked for ten. How some of us never knew a good thing till it's gone will tell you we still have far to cover" Edwin father eyed his two daughters again.

The talk went on for another twenty minutes before they reached agreement as Edwin insisted she must apologize or it's over. The younger people wanted to use threats but the older men used their heads to save the situation. After scolding their daughter, they asked her to kneel and apologized to the husband and she did to save beat up ego. They asked him to go and pour the wine and the leaf in it away and came to feast with them. 

 later, went home with his wife and kids.