"Wall of Fire"

I’ll never forget the day I stepped off the plane in Saudi Arabia - a young military wife, with two sons in tow, ages 8 & 9. We’d been traveling about 26 hours from Texas (to visit family) to NY; then NY to Saudi Arabia. We were there to accompany our Soldier on a two-year assignment to the Kingdom. 

Let me set the stage: It was 1980 in the midst of the Iran Hostage Crisis. Tension dominated world news. Iranians had stormed the American Embassy in Tehran where they held 60 American hostages for 444 days. My only knowledge of the Middle East was fear and negative perceptions about the region from the media. Back home in Texas, the boys and I left my parents heartbroken and in tears. They begged me, “Please don’t go. Stay here with us. Don’t take our grandsons to Saudi Arabia.” 

I was tempted to stay back in the comfort of home and family…my heart torn – stay or go; comfort or fear? Throughout the flight, all I could think about was their tender tears and deep concern for our safety and wellbeing. My mind flashed back to when I was a 5-year old kid – safe, secure, happy. It was like growing up ‘a warm, fuzzy cocoon.’  

I was jolted out of my reverie when our plane landed in Dhahran. The plane had stopped short of the terminal and we were instructed to deplane on the tarmac. We stepped out of the plane and onto the first stair step. Immediately, we were assaulted by a blast of searing desert heat! It was stifling – like opening the door of a hot oven and instinctively knowing not to let this air into your lungs. I’d grown up in Houston with hot, humid summers, but it was nothing compared to how this felt entering the Kingdom!  

It felt like we’d just stepped into this foreign environment from outer space – an entirely new world; unfamiliar. Everything looked different, particularly men milling around on the tarmac in their long flowing robes and either a red & white check or solid white head coverings. I recall a faint scent wafting through the air, an aroma I’d never smelled. My heartbeat quickened as my mind registered these foreign sights & smells.

Support vehicles pulled up to service the plane with Arabic writing on them, and we heard Arabic spoken for the first time. I reluctantly led our boys to descend the second step. It all seemed surreal. I made an outward attempt to appear strong for our boys, but churning beneath the surface were my own deep-seated fears for our safety, particularly our two young sons. Both boys firmly gripped each of my hands. I recall looking down at my little nine-year-old, who was looking up at me, searching my face for reassurance. At that moment, I wanted to run and hide! An overwhelming wave of homesickness suddenly washed over me.  

My eyes searched for something familiar – anything similar to what I’d always known. I remembered my first day of school, and how – when the lunch bell rang, I thought it was time to go home. My teacher said, “Dorothy, it’s only lunchtime. You cannot go home.” I cried. I desperately wanted to see my Mother. On this day, in this strange place, I felt exactly the same emotions. I thought about leaving my parents and how I longed to hear their Texas accent. I was fearful to take our children one step further into the unknown.

My terror-filled mind began to play tricks on me. I looked out across the tarmac with visible heat rising off the surface. Then this mirage appeared - like a ‘wall of fire!’ At the time, I didn't realize the wall of fire represented my moment of truth. In an instant, I experienced the stark reality that years before, I’d chosen to be an Army wife - knowing one day this choice would require me to leave my family and friends to serve America alongside my husband.  

The significance of this moment marks my turning point. For the first time, I recognized and understood that the same level of commitment required of our soldier was also required of me - of us as a family! It was my toughest life test! I suddenly had a choice: “Do I break through the ‘wall of fire’? Or do I retreat and return to my comfort zone...take our boys and run back into the safety of the American plane and home? I was painfully aware that if I chose to have the courage to break through the wall, there was no turning back! The weight of this decision hit me like a ton of bricks! It was my why for being! I decided to commit to supporting my husband and our mission.  

I call this sort of moment in time breaking through your “terror barrier” – you know – that thing you’re terrified to do, but if you decide to conquer it – you will grow exponentially! Maybe for you…it’s to parachute from an airplane, or audition for American Idol, or maybe you haven’t done it yet, but you’re thinking about it. If so, my story is for you. 

We all have life choices to make; barriers to breakthrough. The question: Will you commit to conquer your fear to live your dreams?

Carpe' Diem! 

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to

live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected

          in common hours.” – Henry David Thoreau