The Facebook conversation: Acquaintance

On the 3rd of January, still in ecstasy of the New year’s celebration, she received a friend request from an unknown lad. Not wanting to turn down the request as it wasn’t in her nature of doing such, she accepted and there goes the tête- a- tête: 

Man 1: Hello ma’am. “Can we get acquainted”?

Miriam: Hmm… (racing thoughts enveloping her frontal lobe, not knowing what to reply and again never wanting to upset her “newly found acquaintance”) she texted… “No problem Mister. I’m Miriam by name, I do reside in Lagos but hail from Ibadan”.

Man 1: “Alright cool. Let’s say I’m your guardian angel and I’m close by to keep you safe”. (He grins).

Miriam: (chuckles)… Funny you

Man1: “Nice meeting you ma’am”

Miriam: “It’s my pleasure dear”

Man1: “ Can I have your phone contact. Hope you don’t mind?”

Miriam: “Not at all. It’s on my profile, you can have it”.

Man 1: “Thanks dearie. I immensely appreciate”.

Miriam : “You’re welcome.”.

Miriam, ( a 5.6ft tall damsel with curly dark hairs and melanin lavished skin) felt elated after the conversation with the dude. She’s a gracious pulchritudinous svelte married to Mr. Johnson who’s in his early thirties and very possessive of his wife but sure knows how to make her feel loved and adores her like a princess.

Mr. Johnson is an Accountant in one of the renowned banks at Ilupeju in Lagos. He’s an early bird (leaves home as early as 7:00am for a work scheduled at 8:00am) and always carries the maxim on his shoulders: “what’s good is worth fighting for”.

The Phone call:

At about 7:45am, her phone rang…. “Honey, your phone is ringing. It seems someone is calling”. Mr. Johnson said as he sets off to work. Miriam rushes out from the bedroom to pick up the call

Miriam: “Hello! Please who is on the line?”

Man 1: “It’s your guardian angel”

Miriam: (laughs)…. “Hey Mr., it’s high time you told me your name”.

Man 1: “Alright Mrs. You can call me Jimmy”.

Miriam: OK. Mr. Jimmy, what do you do for a living?

Man 1: “Well, I’m a Computer Maven but I specialize in Graphics designing”.

Miriam: “OK that’s cool. I’m into fashion design and I’m about to hit the road”.

 to work. Catch you later. Bye…

Man 1: “Aurevoir Mademoiselle “


Later in the day, at about 7:00 pm after she had returned from work. She took her shower, put on her data and laid on the couch while she waited for her husband’s return so they could both have dinner together. Lucky for her, Jimmy was online to keep her fingers busy. Recently, it seemed like the irresistible butterflies in her tummy always gets elated and triggers her gastrointestinal motility each time he’s online.

Miriam: “Hey,! Jimmy, back form work” she inquired

Man 1: Yeah, I’m. And you?

Miriam: Uhhuh. “I just had my bath in wait for my hubby to return”.

Man 1: “Hmm, that’s nice. Is that your tableau on your profile?”

Miriam: “Yeah, that’s me. Hope no qualms?”

Man 1: “Not at all ma’am. The only problem is that you’re extremely ravishing”.(He smiled)

Miriam: (chuckles)… Thanks dear. What about your wife, or are you not married?

Man 1: “Well, I’m still a bachelor looking for my missing rib “.(he grins).

Miriam: “Alright dear. Hope the search doesn’t take long”.

Man 1: Hahaha, I pray it doesn’t. 

What’s your favorite colour ma’am?

Miriam: Hmm … Why do you ask?

Man 1: Just wanting to know if it matches your skin colour and maybe get to present a gown on your birthday. I found out its near by. 

Miriam: Awnn … That’s sweet. You sure know how to spoil a woman. I strongly believe your wife will enjoy you. 

Man 1: Lol … Of course she will.

Miriam: Why don’t you have a profile picture?

Man 1: I’m photophobic and a shrinking violet (smiles)

Miriam: Lol… Funny dude. But that’s not a cool quality for a man

Man 1: I know ma’am. I’m working on it.

At about 8:00pm, there came a knock at her door.

Miriam: Jimmy, we’ll chat later. I think my husband is back home

Man 1: Alright. Bye.

 She opens and made a kiss-welcome at her husband. “Hey! Darling. Welcome back. How was your day at work”?. 

“It was great but as usual, quite hectic”. Mr. Johnson replied. 

“Sorry dear , go take your shower while I dish out the food”

Now, while in bed, Jimmy was reminiscing about the days chat with Miriam. He couldn’t get her figure off his head, he decided to make the call. 

Miriam: It’s late Jimmy. Aren’t you in bed?. It’s 12:00 am.

Man 1: Sorry dear. I couldn’t take my mind off your physique. The thought of you always gives me a million goose pimples. I think I’m already in love with you

Miriam: (laughs)… Funny you. I think you’re obsessed. That’s I love at all. You haven’t even seen me one on one yet. Please, go back to bed. We’ll talk later in the morning. Bye 

Mr. Johnson: Honey! Who was that?

Miriam: It’s a guy I met via Facebook. He says he’s already head over heels for me. But don’t worry dear, I think he’s just obsessed with me.

Mr. Johnson: Are you sure?. I’m a man and I know how cases like this eventually turn out oh.

Miriam: Its OK darling, I’ll take care of it. Let’s go back to bed


It’s a hazy, humid Saturday morning. Right about time the couple ( Mr. Johnson and Miriam) were about to leave the house for their weekly treats which they tagged “Us time', she received a phone call and placed it on loudspeaker.

Man 1: Hello ma’am. How is your day going?. I can see you guys driving out of the house. 

Miriam: Yeah, we’re about to have a threat. But come to think of it, how did you know?.

Man 1: I told you earlier that I’m your guardian angel (grins)

Miriam: Hmm…. “Hope you’re not spying on us? Or rather stalking me?”

Man 1: Hahaha… No need to fret ma’am. I was hoping we could hang out on Sunday evening at Banana island

Mr. Johnson on hearing this became infuriated.

Mr. Johnson: Hey Mr. The woman you’re speaking with is married. Can you please bug off and don’t call this line again.

Man 1: Hmm… Sorry Sir. I’m only trying to be a friend here.

Mr. Johnson: Well, as you can see your friendship is not needed. So keep off

Man 1: It seems I’ll have to steal her from you then (he laughed hysterically)

Mr. Johnson: Let me take that as a joke.

Man 1: Hahaha…. I’m serious man. It’s no joke at all.

Mr. Johnson: Don’t even think of doing such, because you’ll be spending the rest of your life behind bars

(Mr. Johnson picks up the phone and cuts the call). You can imagine. He snarled


On a Tuesday evening, 8:16am precisely. When Miriam was returning home from work, 15minutes after her departure, she was way-laid by three masked men. Their identity was obscured and she couldn’t make a guess.

She was taken to an abandoned building by her assailant. It’s location she couldn’t decipher. 

Miriam: Please don’t kill me, I’ll give you whatever you want

Man 1: Hello Miriam. Alas we meet.

Miriam: Please who are you?

Man 1: I’m your guardian angel, Jimmy answered while still on his masked face

Miriam: Jimmy! What do you want?. Why are you doing this to me?

Man 1: I want you and I’m doing this because my heart craves for you.

Miriam: Why don’t we remain as friends. Do you want to tarnish it?

Man 1: I want more than friendship. I want you all to myself.

Miriam: But you know I’m married.

Man 1: Yeah, I do. That’s why I abducted you and since I can’t have you, then money will suffice for you.

Can I have your husband’s contact?

The Ransom:

Jimmy: Hello! Mr. Johnson. Your wife is with us and a ransom worth five million naira is required. I’ll device you not to involve the police and please act swiftly otherwise, I’ll have my way with her. (Laughs hysterically)

Mr. Johnson: Hmm… Mister, you’re playing with the lions tail and you know that’s deadly. I wan my wife released within the next 10 minutes otherwise you’ll have yourself to be blamed

(Jimmy ends the call, started ranting with the words “fool” emanating from his mandibles)

Jimmy: It seems your hubby doesn’t love you that much after all.

Miriam: Please dear, just let me go and we’ll put all this behind us, forgetting it ever happened.

Jimmy: Never ma’am. It’s either you or the money.

The Escape:

Two hours after the incidence, the gangs stepped out to have a bottle of drink each, but they were only deceitful to themselves as they gulped down four bottles each while discussing on how fast to get their money (ransom). Hardly could they locate the building where they kept their victim and on reaching there, they decided to hit the hay for recuperation. Miriam, noticing that they were far gone thought it wise that this could be her opportunity for an escape. She surreptitiously grabbed the door knob and swiftly made a run to the outskirt of the street. Luckily for her, an MTN sales representative was available. Please ma’am can you help me put a call across to my husband, here us his contact. 

Hello, honey. Call the police to come rescue me. She asked the representative for her location which she gave to her husband and within the next 20minutes, the cops arrived

The Arrest:

Can you give us a vivid description of where your abductees kept you. Miriam gesticulated while making the descriptions of where her assailant kept her. Not too long, the cops came in handy with the culprits with one of them being shot at the leg while trying to escape.

The mask of Jimmy and others were removed. Lo and behold, the Jimmy guy was Miriam’s beau whose actual name was Jackson way back in college. He ditched her for another girl then. Miriam was bewildered not knowing what to say nor do. Her eyes moistened with tears, so heavy that it dribbled down her cheeks.

Mr. Johnson looking at him with a scornful grimace muttered … “Ever day for the thief but one day for the owner of the house”.

January 17, 2020 21:04

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