The One That Got Away

May 2012

Callie was beautiful. She’s simple and vibrant, her styles changing from day to day but somehow all of them end up being- well, just her. Lucas sat in the audience listening to her speak. Her graduation hat barely contained her brown curls, she was smiling so big as she talked that no one in the crowd could contain thiers. She had that effect on people, she definitely had it on him. Of course she was the popular girl but she wasn’t your typical one– meaning she wasn’t your mean girl popular, you know the ones who actually take to the whole bullying thing, yeah not her, she was the kind one, the one who was class president, the one who volunteered at homeless shelters and made cookies for her class. She made the world better. That’s why everyone liked her because her presence was a light in this world and everyone wanted to enjoy its warmth. Lucas stared at her awestruck and she notices, her cheeks flashing pink when their eyes locked. Oh yeah. Lucas thought, tonight was his night and she knew it, how could she not. The crowd clapped as she ended her speech and sat back down. When all the tassels had been flipped and the gym was cleared and everyone was gathered outside he knew exactly where to find her. The track was worn so she stood out as she sat at the finish line, when she saw Lucas walking to her a smile spread over her face. 

“You have always been one to savor a moment” he says knowingly as he sits down beside her.

“What good would life be if I didn't?” she replied, turning towards him. “You have always been one to find me when i’m savoring my moments”

Lucas grins at this, “that way all your good memories have me in them”, he sees her cheeks go pink and he brushes a hand through her hair. “How does it feel to be a high school graduate?”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out, “it feels— ambiguous”, she was right. Their lives were about to change, “But I shall conquer it.”

“You always do,” Lucas sighs at her, running a hand through his hair, “So.” He looks at her his expression readable, 

“It hasn’t even been an hour Lucas” she said unable to hide her smile

“I just wanted to be first in line”

“There is no line!” she says smoothing out her gown

“I scared them all off,” he laughs. They stare at each other for a moment before looking away. He loves her. He can feel it in every fiber of his being just buzzing. She sighs and he knows she sees right through him, she always has. “Don’t break my heart before I even give it to you Cal”. She shakes her head giving him a half smile and a sigh. “ I leave for backpacking in a week, when I get back I’ll have two weeks before I leave for college. I got into the Newson program and—” she falls off and Lucas knows it’s because she was seeing right through him again, he runs his hand through his hair, “Big Columbia.``He says lightly, he looks at her, “ I am so proud of you. You worked really hard for this.” She looks at him and he sees something he’s never seen on her before. “Callie” he whispers leaning towards her and before he could say another word her lips were on his. It was passionate, and strong, just like her. They rested their foreheads together and breathed together. “A tattoo artist” she huffed out after a beat. Lucas smiles at her, taking her face in his hands and moving her back to focus on her. “Did you expect anything else?” she smiles and for the first time he sees the tears welling in her eyes, “I always knew you were a Callie boy” she laughs and he lets out a breath pulling her into him for another kiss, this one feeling like the last. When he can finally pull himself away from her, he feels his eyes sting, “While you’re off backpacking the world, I’ll be packing away my life here and taking it to Callie. So I am guessing that –” he stops talking not wanting to say it out loud. “Would you change it?”

Callie lets out a sigh, “I got into Columbia, got accepted into their top pre-law programs and I am going to be rooming with my best friend since 3rd grade.” she doesn’t mean it to sound heartless, “You – you are going to California, skateboard in hand and working at one of the top tattoo shops, and you’re pissing your father off as you do it” she lets out a laugh and he can’t help but join in, she was hypnotizing. “Art is my life, business is his. Can I take you on a date tomorrow?” he asks. She smirks placing her pointer finger to the corner of her lip, “ Four years is a long time to wait for a date” she is doing a horrible job of pretending to stall and he laughs at her, “I have a reservation at Suku’s” She raises her eyebrows at him, “The day after graduation?” she questioned. He stood up and reached down to help her up, “I may have made the reservation 4 months ago.” He pulled her into him and rested his chin on the top of his head, “I had a feeling you’d say yes.” 

December 2015

Callie took a long swig of her beer before pulling her laptop out. Brew had become one of her favorite places to work. The long list of demands and coursework kept her up late, and waking early. Her life had become a never ending circle of school, cases, and making sure she made all the necessary appearances. She knew that law school was going to be tough but she never guessed herself as someone who would be at a brewery drinking a tall Ahle hoping it will take away the stress between her shoulders. Guess there is a first time for everything, she thought. She was just about to take another swig of her beer when she saw him. He was gorgeous, his hair was waves at his shoulders and his style was sharper giving him more edge. A knot formed in her stomach as she looked away before downing the rest of her beer. She tried to pack up her things but it was too late, she saw him see her. He stopped in his tracks sloshing the beers he was holding on the floor. His eyes went wide like they were deceiving him and she felt her heart thump. She gave him a shy smile and wave and he changed directions heading towards her. “Callie” he said taking her in close up, she blushed under his stare. “Hey Lucas! New York?” she said gesturing around with her hands,“ he looks at her for a second before responding, his teeth white in the dim bar, “Yeah-uh. It’s one of my buddies 21st, he lives out here. I didn’t expect to run into you, especially not here” he gestures around the bar. She looks at him and his eyes look upset that he may have hurt her feelings. “I was just thinking that myself” she laughed it off, “But this is where I get my best work done, oddly as it seems.” she can’t help but notice how much he had grown, his once boyish features having matured “And I have developed a taste for beer. Ciders to be exact” she looks at him more closely and sees that tattoos line his collar bone. “I see you’ve added to your collection” she points out, he looks down and smiles, “you can say i’ve been making my father proud.” he shrugs, and the beer shakes in his hand, “well I should probably get back to my friends.” he looks at her and she swears she still feels the same. “Yeah, I got work to do. It was good seeing you Lucas” she says and she watches him begin to walk away, he stops and turns back, “I have a girlfriend” he blurts out, “If I didn’t I would have asked you to meet up and we could catch up and tell each other all our lives like we used too. But–” the way he looks at her puts a knife right in her heart, “It’s been three years” she finishes, “You are allowed to live your life Lucas, I have always wanted for you to live your life” she shakes her head slowly, “I bet she’s punk” she says with a smirk and he smiles back at her, “She’s an artist type.” he says, “see you Cal”. He leaves her stomach hurting as he walks away, his voice still singing in her ear. She missed him, not that he was ever hers to miss but in their own sort of way, he was. She heads to the bar to get another drink, maybe even two.

  August 2018

Lucas could feel his heart thumping in his chest, he could feel the burn in his lungs every time he took a breathe, the muscle in his legs pulling with every stride he took, this is why he did it. Running wasn’t something he always did, in fact his highschool days were spent on a skateboard. Two years ago he dated a girl who loved to run so he joined in one day and that was the beginning of something special, running of course, Jane lasted 9 months which was longer than the rest. He couldn’t think of any particular reason things didn’t work out other than they were ready for more and – well he wasn’t. This day and age it’s all about the imagine and not quality, he thought of most girls as shallow. He liked Jane, he just didn’t like the whole picture perfect scheme, at least that’s what he told himself. Deep down it was because his heart was taken. He hadn’t thought about Callie everyday but when she stumbled across his mind she seemed to linger. At one point in time he convinced himself that he wanted the what if and not her, it was the thought of not knowing. But when he saw her there, coming out of the coffee shop his heart stopped and so did his legs, he tripped over his feet landing in the grass. He thought he could get up and run away but when a grown man takes a fall it causes a scene. The crowd gathered gawking at him, he was dusting himself off when she pushed her way through the crowd. She wore a silly smile and a Columbia hat, “Lucas, are you running?”She takes in his shorts and tank looking stunned. “Not anymore” he gestured shooing the crowd. “What are you doing back here” he walks over to a nearby bench and she follows, “It’s Lydia’s wedding week so I am in town for a while” she takes a sip of her coffee and he notices the blonde in her hair and the tan of her skin. “What are you doing here?” she asked, 

“I moved back last year after my father died. He left me his business.” he doesn’t look at her when he says this but he can feel her eyes on him, “I sold it and opened up my very own tattoo shop”. He watches her smirk and he leans in towards her, “world’s best son” he says,”ahh your dad was an asshole” Callie waves him off, “I am proud of you. I always knew you’d be great and artisty”. Lucas looks at her remembering the last time he saw her, she was even more beautiful. He runs his hands down his legs, “gosh, when was the last time I saw you? New York?” he asked , she nodded, “yes, you were drunk” she jokingly shakes her head at him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, her, “Hey, I remember you having a few more beers than normal too.” he asks, taking in how the little stub in her nose made her look ten times sexier. “It was a dare” she said reading his mind, “turns out I like it” she shrugs. He looks at the sky, the silence growing between them until Lucas takes a deep breath, “How’s Aaron?” he asks, she hesitates before answering, “He’s good.” she didn’t linger on it and he knew why. “You know I am here for you if you ever need it”, she shakes her head at him and takes a sip of her coffee, the ring on her finger sparkling in the light. She lets out a soft laugh, “I still can’t believe I’m married” she says looking at him, his heart breaks as if to say, I can’t believe you're married to someone that’s not me. “I always knew you’d marry a doctor” he said, “I am sure you share the same passion for ambition.” it’s quite for a second, “we do.” she shares, her eyes glossing over as if she could feel his emotions. Was he hurting her? “I should probably get going.” he stands up fast before more words escape his mouth. “It was good seeing you Cal. It always is”. She stands too and looks him in his eyes, they sparkle, she doesn’t say goodbye she just simply nods her head and he takes off without looking back.

October 2022

It was rainy, the small ice cold droplets that sprinkled all over the ground. The umbrella stopped most of it but it's not like Callie could feel it anyways. She was numb, her fingers were gone, her feet were cold, and her tears had frozen to her cheeks as they rolled down. Her friend clung to her side squeezing her every now and then to let her know she was still with her. She appreciated the comfort, her world had fallen apart. She looked around at all the people gathered beside her then back at the gray sky. It was gloomy– as it should be. Time didn’t exist to her at the moment, by the time she blinked she was standing alone looking down at a shiny all black casket getting ready to be covered in dirt. The ring on her finger felt tight on her hand as if it shouldn’t be there but it was and all she could think about was what could have been. She lowered her umbrella and stared up at the sky letting the rain hit her face, it would have been refreshing if it wasn’t for the gaping hole in her chest.