John and Sarah

                                John and Sarah

25^th August 2020

Sandra Wheatley 2366 wordcount

Sarah

Looking at myself in my full-length mirror, I wondered if I could disguise my extra pounds, that always seemed to land firmly around my middle. I could not bear to struggle into my very large hold me in pants, if we decided to eat, I would be well and truly stuffed, trussed up like a chicken waiting to be basted.

I sighed and returned once again to my wardrobe, pulling out my old faithful long black and very forgiving skirt, I stepped into it and decided on a sparkly long-sleeved black top which luckily fell over my middle area completing my disguise.

At 54 years old online dating was becoming more difficult with every date, it was the proverbial catch twenty-two. I wanted to meet a partner, a lover, maybe even a husband. Where else was I going to meet eager single men other than on a dating site?

People kept to themselves these days families didn’t have the traditional get togethers, the boy next door if single, was normally a nerd who seemed to be terrified of women and walking around the supermarket late at night with a basket containing ‘Meals for one’ certainly had not worked for me.

So, back online I went like a moth to the flame. Feeling hopeful and yet sad and disappointed all at the same time.

Tonight, I was meeting John, at least he said he name was John.

John’s profile.

Hi, I’m John, it is so difficult to talk about myself but here goes. I am widowed, so yes, I am single. I am 6ft tall, average weight I work for an insurance company and I have my own house and car. I would be more than happy to travel for the right woman. My friends say I am a happy go lucky guy, if any of this is of interest to you please get in touch.

Now, in the world of online dating, this profile stood out like a prince among thieves. So, I messaged him.

‘Hello John, I like your profile and you live quite near, would you like to talk?’

So, we talked, John sounded rather nice on the phone. After a few phone calls, we had decided that tonight was the night. Here I am again, back in my old faithful black skirt, spraying on my expensive Dior perfume and praying that, this time, this effort would lead to romance, even, dare I dream about an actual relationship? Smiling I picked up my car keys and headed to my car.

John

Maggy was the love of my life. I adored everything about her, even the little farts she did in her sleep. I loved her little farts they always made me smile. It was my secret from her. Maggy would have been mortified to know that she had been farting in her sleep. So I kept it a secret.

Now I wish with all my heart that I had said something, anything, but how could I have known, I didn’t know, she didn’t know, we didn’t know.

When Maggie began to have stomach pains and constipation the doctor asked her the leading question….’ have you noticed that you have been breaking wind more than usual?’

Maggie had laughed, I had laughed, the Doctor had not laughed. Maggie was admitted the next day to our local hospital for tests.

On day four of the tests, I had a call from Dr Simms.

‘’John, can you pop in this morning to see me please?’’

Dr Simms informed me that Tuesday Morning that Maggie, the love of my life had days to live. She had been suffering from Bowel Cancer, a particularly aggressive form.

I froze, I wanted to scream, to punch him in the face for giving me this news. I just froze.

The loss of appetite and the frequent breaking wind were signs John, I’m so sorry there is nothing we can do for her. We would like to keep her here, you can sleep on the chair next to her. The end will be quick.

Three days later, my beloved Maggie closed her eyes for the last time and my world came to an end. That was ten years ago and now, with encouragement from my Sister, I am online dating. Me, an old conservative, stick in the mud, online dating. Tonight is my first date and I am meeting Sarah.

This is her profile.

‘I’m Sarah, pleased to meet you. My family say that I am chilled, easy-going and nice to be around, I will let you be the judge of that. I work in London as a buyer, so I am out of the house most days for nine hours. So, when I’m at home I love to just relax, chill out and have a glass of wine. I love theatre and cinema and I’m looking for an easy-going man for friendship maybe more. I have been divorced for ten years.

Sarah and I spoke a couple of times, she sounds lovely I am so looking forward to meeting her. Shall I wear a suit, or just be casual?  I don’t want to frighten her away by being too keen. I settle on a short-sleeved blue shirt and black trousers. Maggie always loved my Dior aftershave so I will wear that tonight. I do hope Sarah will like it too. I’m picking up my car keys now and my mind is racing, wondering if I could come up with a good reason not to turn up, I’m in my car, too late to turn back now.

Sarah

The car park was full and I wondered if I could use this as a reason not to stay.

‘I’m so sorry, I did come to meet you but the car park was full, we will have to rearrange’

I rehearsed this in my mind a dozen times as I drove around looking for a parking space. Then I saw a car’s rear lights spring to life as it pulled out of the line of cars and my excuse evaporated, as full of trepidation tinged with excitement I backed into the empty space, kept my lights on and waited.

A gentle knocking on my window startled me out of my dream and I looked into the smiling eyes of who I assumed was John.

I stepped out of the car and my first impression was positive. John was smart, he smelled lovely and he was tall, as he had described. A lot of me say they are tall when they really are not…size is a man thing. I wondered if they thought that 5feet 4 inches was ever going to look like 5ft 10 inches?

John was tall, I took his arm as we walked into the bar, it felt comfortable and he smiled at me, something I took to mean that it was ok to hold a complete stranger’s arm.

We found a table and I sat down while John went up to the bar.

‘Red Wine?’

‘Yes, Shiraz if they have it?’

John smiled his lovely smile again and a few moments later he appeared looking triumphant with two glasses of Red Wine.

‘Tell me about you John, I believed you were married and that your wife passed away, I’m so sorry.’

There was a pause then John told me chapter and verse about his life with Maggie the love of his life. I smiled and listened.

John

I arrived an hour earlier than our agreed time to make sure that I found a parking space. I sat looking out of the window when eventually I saw Sarah’s car pull into the car park, she had described it to me and as it was a top of the range Mercedes it was easy to spot. She drove right past me and my heart skipped a beat. She was more lovely than her photo and I felt an immediate tingle of excitement.

Waiting for her to park seemed like hours, eventually, I saw her pull into a parking space so I waited for a few moments then I walked as casually as I could up to her car and gently knocked on the window.

Sarah looked up to me and gave a most engaging smile that seemed to light up the inside of her car. When she stepped out, she gently took my arm and inside my heart skipped another beat and I swallowed hard. I really liked this lady already. Now, all I had to do was impress her enough to have a second date with me.

After we found a table, I went to the bar to get wine for us both and I was so eager to get back to the table that I almost spilled the wine over an elderly lady sitting on the next table. Sarah did not seem to notice and once again she gave me her wonderful smile. Then Sarah said: -

‘Tell me about you John, I believed you were married and that your wife passed away, I’m so sorry.

It was such a relief to talk about Maggie, I realised had not really spoken about her to anyone since her death. So, I told Sarah all about her. What she liked and disliked, where we used to go for holidays, how she loved to cook and what a very special person she was.

Before I knew it, Sarah said,

‘Is that the time already John, we have been here for nearly three hours, how the time flies when you are having fun’

Sarah started to stand up and I followed as she walked out towards her car.

‘I would love to see you again Sarah, its been a lovely evening, more than I could have imagined, shall I call you?’

Sarah smiled and looked straight into my eyes.

‘Yes, call me John, please do’

She put her arms around my neck, and we held each other for a few minutes. Then Sarah drove away and as I climbed into my car, I was already planning our next date.

Sarah

John had been talking nonstop about Maggie, the love of his life. I knew so much about her, I knew her favourite colour, her favourite book, where she liked to go on holiday, how much she liked to laugh and how much John missed her.

As he talked my heart became heavier like a stone had been tied around it.

John was a truly good man and it was becoming more obvious to me by the minute that he was far from over Maggie. He asked nothing about me, I would bet one million pounds on John not knowing one thing about me at the end of our three-hour date.

When we got to the car park, I put my arms around his neck and hugged him. It was a hug of comfort and sadness. Sadness for him that he was still grieving for his lovely wife and sadness for me that I knew that all the time Maggie was so alive in his mind and heart that there was no future for us.

I wanted to let him down gently, so I agreed to John ringing me, but I already knew what I had to do.

I sighed as I drove away from John that evening, I knew I would never see him again and I wondered what the future held for him.

When I arrived home, I texted John.

‘Hi John, thank you for a lovely evening, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you that I am going away tomorrow for work, I will be gone for about a month. Please feel free to carry on dating, who knows you may yet again find the love of your life. Hugs Sarah’

I was going away for work but only for a week. I reckoned this small lie would help to let John down slowly, once I sent the text I blocked his number and with a heavy heart, I climbed into my double bed, alone.

John

Driving home I felt as if I had won the lottery. This gorgeous woman wanted to see me again, maybe I had met another Maggie. Could a man be this lucky, I really could not believe what a great evening I had experienced in the company of this woman who was such a great talker and listener.

I couldn’t remember a lot of what she had said, but I remember how much I had enjoyed her company.

As I parked my car my phone pinged and the name Sarah came up.

‘Hi John, thank you for a lovely evening, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you that I am going away tomorrow for work, I will be gone for about a month. Please feel free to carry on dating, who knows you may yet again find the love of your life. Hugs Sarah’

I laughed out loud, what a wonderful woman, what a great sense of humour, I could not wait to see her again.

I texted back.

‘You too Sarah, I look forward to seeing you when you get back, stay in touch xx’

I’m confused I have to say. I have texted Sarah about four times, and I have not had a response. I guess she must be busy with work. I cancelled my dating site as I am convinced that I have met my next Maggie and I cant wait to see Sarah again soon.

Sarah

It has been three weeks now since I saw John. I hope he meets his replacement Maggie, but I am sad to say that it is not me. I can’t compete with a perfect deceased wife, can I? So here we are again.

Tonight, I’m meeting Pete, I have just pulled on my faithful black skirt and picked up my car keys, I wonder what tonight will reveal to me. Please lord, if this man is widowed, please ensure he has done his grieving.

I drive into the car park and I see Pete standing by the bar door. Did I say that men have a thing about size?