My fault

"This summer it had been so depressing , Locked at home . By this time our vacations start and we enjoy watermelons and icecreams softies watching Doreomon" said Kimchi. The streets are empty . No people or cars or vehicles . The lonely sun baked road with the dehydated trees and shrubs . Claire said, " but this year we have no farewell , No dates of exam are announced . There is so much uncertainity in the air. I nodded in agreement . This was fact . Our entire session was online . At first we were enjoying the classes but then whenever wifi went out and teachers paused at every line and there ws brekage in the continuity of the leactures . I thought when school reopens I will clarify my doubts . "And how will school hold practical classes ? We had none ." ,cried Claira again." Do you remember kim the days when exams are over and we joined painting and singing club and practiced and when we looked out we could see Victoria Memorial monument and the chill breeze . I had my chess classes and kim and his friend had afternoon cricket matches and practice sessions . "This year also I would remain single and remain distant . No love life at all . What a teenager am I " grumbled Claira . "Don't you feel the same pinch Sasha?"

I nodded abruptly and replied " Yeah I remembered but those were some memories but grandpa.." I said and stared blankly at the sunlit ceiling remembering him .....

Many summers before , one summer, Grandpa went out for marketing and made all four meals as the maid had taken her usual rightful sick leave . He said us not get concerned .He usually has this habit not to bother anyone . He was a self sufficient and most efficient man.

We had a big family fight . Same mom and dad fighting as usual and I nagged mom to help me in my project while she was watching her favourite Singing reality show . I promised she can enjoy the repeat telecast , so she agreed but when the repeat telecast started dad returned from Office, and started arguing out of no reason . He pushed her out of the Tv room and again started fighting . Mom took out her frustration on me. " I told you you idiot !!"Neither she could watch her show nor had a normal peace of mind . I cried at my fault almost all night

. Next day grandpa had a chest pain after returning from market and decided to take a nap . "Pulse is on the stove . Put it down when done" he said . It was a peaceful summer afternoon at their house . Uncle was studing for service with headphones turned on and gazed at the laptop screen . The Times of India was still left to be read while grandpa was sleeping . As I said before , Grandpa had this habit to not bother anyone and keep his problems to him .He was the eldest and most responsible son afterall . After coming from Bangladesh , he was all poor . He took tutions and went to library and studied engineering just like that . He was a ideal son and husband but he was a grandpa who spoiled his grandchildren . I know when he was hungry and asked for bananas , his neighbours threw excess fruits in dustbin but didn't give him . Once on his birthday , Grandpa got no gifts but his Aunt gifted him a pen . He was at the top of the world .It was his only possesion . Coming back to 2013 that day......

We had got informed of grandpa's chest pain . Uncle had informed us , and the same day my Sister Ameli was vomiting a lot and had to be brought home early from school . I clearly remembered.

Dad went to grandpa and checked his pulse and gave him injection and went for duty . Mom went on duty too but reached office to take a half day application . Mom and dad had the cold war on still though . I was in middle school and remember very little , but then dad entered in the ac chilled room and told us " Grandpa died . He had a stroke " . I felt utterly broken but my siblings were unaltered because they were even younger to understand . When we reached his home , I had seen a dead man for the first time . No more talking . Still and freezing . I hardly touched him . "I Still remember the scene and within hours he died and that was his last nap." General tears came down my cheeks and I found my cousin unaware of the whole inccident because he was in love with grandpa and was staying in States but for the time being returned with his parents .

Hatred and Remorse was in the environment . Lastly when the grandpa moved out in glass box , there was cry and silence . My toddler sibling was crying maybe he sensed something . Then rituals and ceremony occured . Thats how he went.Now noone cooks if meat as softly as he did and noone bring us unwanted sweets . Noone cooked delightfully when I rang his door bell . Yeah I am selfish for I miss him for my need but those were memories . Sweet memories . Whenever Grandpa picked me from school and a fun day stay was my treats with finger licking food . He was the most noble and respectable man I ever saw . He was humble man who had transitioned himself from noone to an Industilist and showered my childhood with gifts . No more gifts . No more warmly stays. I lost my happiness with him . "He never came to know about Lockdown and Vaccine for he went so early . "

Seven years have passed and I tend to forget his face but I reminde myself everytime .Whenever I remembered him I felt bad but Social media is a good escape for my feelings . If my grandpa had been stayed longer , he would have loved to teach me physics . He was great at it . My grandpa was a real jewel , looked handsome with extreme wisdom and sense of duty but he was never seen raising his voice or hand while raising his kids . " I still remember him......."