How one man change my life

How one man changed my life

I looked into the bathroom mirror. Not a pretty sight. I appeared bored, disgruntled, and unhappy. All true. But why? I lived in a flat in what was called a high rise building with my parents and elder sister. The town was situated in a valley surrounded by forests leading to high mountains. My parents were the most boring couple, always arguing and talking about money. Occasionally I saw films and television series showing the definition of respect and love for your partner. This certainly was not the case in our household, nor for that matter in my friends’ homes. My parents both worked, my father in a garage and my mother in the local hospital. My sister, oh! My sister was supposedly looking for work. But she spent more time making up and going out with her girl friends. I am sure all these girly meetings were to attract men. She probably felt like me caged in a life of boredom. There was no love lost between us; we had separate lives.

I washed my face with cold water in an endeavor to collect my thoughts. I then sat on the toilet seat held my head in my hands with my elbows on my knees. In two days I would finally be leaving school to face the job market. I had no idea of what I wanted to do. My academic results were very mediocre. School and learning had never held a great interest for me. The only positive aspect of school was that I had collected around me a group of close buddies. It was a group that felt like me, bored with the way we lived and concerned about what the future held for us.. This group's monotonous and bored lifestyle promoted meeting three nights a week planning actions that would get our adrenaline flowing. This often resulted in stealing from supermarkets, turning over dustbins, setting fire to cars., killing local cats and once we set fire to part of the surrounding forest with a bet to see how long it would take for the fireman to get the fire under control. We did think about the drug trade but the town already had an established gang in total control of the drug distribution. They had already asked us to join them. We refused. Drug distribution was not for us. Smoking and drinking, yes We wanted to stay a little independent gang amusing ourselves creating a bit of chaos. These acts of disregard for peoples property, stealing. and creating a bit of chaos was exciting and seemed to empower us and take us out of the dull monotonous life of just existing. The discussions after these events cemented a deep friendship amongst our gang. Over the period of our adolescence we never got caught or tagged by the police. Apart from our personal satisfaction we enjoyed reading about some of these exploits in the local paper.

The day after I left school I decided to go for a short run up in the woods. That evening our gang was meeting to decide on a leaving school celebration party. Before reaching the forest I had to run about three miles when I started feeling thirsty. I realized I had left my water bottle in my room. Decisions, decisions, was I going to run back and get it. No, about ten miles ahead in the forest there was a small waterfall. Before reaching the waterfall I passed through a small glen. There lying in a sun light beam shining through the trees was a middle aged man asleep. Beside him was a water bottle. Great, I took the bottle and had a cooling drink. I suddenly heard a voice.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?”

“What does it look like…. drinking?”

“Well the first thing you can do is put it back and apologize. You don’t just take people's things.”

“Well I do if I feel like it.”

“Oh, I see we have one of those young men that live in our cities and believe they are owed something and have no respect for the community. I will not repeat it, apologize.”

“You're kidding.”

Before I could place another word he was on his feet in front of me. I quickly realized my mistake. Standing before me was a tall, muscular man with the profile of a boxer. He looked extremely fit, a short haircut and a facial expression that showed he was content with his life. It was not my style to apologize. If he had been smaller I would probably knock him down. I just started to walk away. In a second he had swung me around and thrown me to the ground. It hurt.

“That might teach you to respect other people and their possessions? Where do you live?”

I lay there for a few seconds contemplating my situation. Do I apologize, or get up and try to fight this man. First I will reply to his question of where I live.

“I live in an apartment in one of the highrise buildings in the town.”

“ Are you still at school?” He stood there towering over me.

“ No, I am looking for my first job.”

I started asking myself why I was answering all these questions. But there was an aura about this man. His commanding voice and his physical presents.

“I suspect I have before me a young man that is already disenchanted with life and has had very little parental control or influence. Probably come from a difficult home background. Spends most of his time in the street with his friends. I suppose he has poor school results. I imagine you could be feeling like me when I was your age. Sailing on a boat without rudder or anchor, just drifting. Get up and let us sit in the sunlight and I will tell you my story. When I have finished my story I will again ask you to apologize to me for taking a drink from my water bottle without my permission.”

I got up slowly, feeling a slight pain in my back. There was no point in trying to return the man’s physical aggression or walk away. I sat next to him and in doing so I noticed his hard muscular large hands. Definable not a man to be messed with.

“I was born in this town. My teenage years were spent mostly on the street with my friends. Our home was full of rowing parents that eventually divorced. I lived with my mother. From the age of ten throughout school I had no parental control or discipline. Actually during that period I had a couple of run-ins with the police for minor offences. Once out of school I was desperate to leave home and the town. The possibilities of finding a reasonably well paid job here or elsewhere were bleak. One day while walking through the town I passed the local Army’s recruiting office. I stopped and looked at their advertisement in the window. I went in and after a long discussion signed up for 5 years. At the time I thought how could I go wrong. Free food and board, decent pay with the possibility of better pay if you were capable of moving up the ranks. The possibility of travelling to exotic countries. Once you leave the Army ,if your application was accepted, then they guarantee to pay your fees in a technical college for eighteen months. As I was over eighteen I did not need parental approval. In short order, I had a medical followed by 10 weeks of basic training. During this period of basic training I thought I was going to die, it was brutal. I stayed with the Army for ten years and made some good lifelong friends and travelled to some interesting countries. I left the Army as sergeant major with a healthy bank account. I then spent eighteen months in a technical college graduating as a mechanical engineer. All paid for by the Army. Today I own three garages in the district. I am happily married with three children to a woman who was also in the Army for a short period. I live in a house with a garden about ten miles out of the town.”

At this point I interrupted. “Do you ever regret your decision?”

“No, not for one minute. I need discipline and focus. I need to live outside my depressing home environment. I needed space and adventure. I was not always in agreement with the Army’s teaching and their discipline, but they gave me a solid and dependable basis to face life’s challengers. Without this, where would I be today? Probably like many of my old school friends arguing continually with their wives about money or selling drugs. As I think you come from a background similar to mine. Let me give you a piece of advice. Sign up in the army for five years. Now are you going to apologize?”

I was moved by his little speech and without thinking I stood up, saluted him and apologized. He extended his hand and said, If you ever want to talk to me, ask at one of my garages for the boss. The garages are under the name of Motor with a smile.

Two days later I astonished my friends with the news I had just signed up for five years with the Army.

David Nutt August 2025