Criminal Minds

Submitted into Contest #260 in response to: Write a story with a big twist.... view prompt

3 comments

Contemporary Crime Fiction

‘Honey, I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?’ My mum led me to the side, out of the way of the rushing people, and squatted down so that she could look me straight in the eye. ‘It’s going to be busy inside, and I need you to stay close to me, do you understand? I don’t want to lose you.’ I nodded, distracted by all the things I could see in the shop window. ‘Look at me. This is very, very important. If you do lose sight of me, come right back here and wait for me. I will come and find you, okay? Now say it back to me, darling.’

                 ‘Stay close to you if I lose you come back here so you can find me,’ I rattled off dutifully.

                 ‘Good lad.’ She kissed me on the forehead and stood up. She helped me put on my backpack, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, here we go, she said, walking into the throng.

Not losing sight of her turned out to be a lot harder than I’d thought. There were people everywhere, and I was far too small to see over the crowds. It didn’t help that I kept being distracted by the bright and shiny items on the shelves. So many toys! There, a fabulous marble track, and there, a remote-controlled digger, and there, a huge green dinosaur! I was dazzled by the sounds of bells and pops and whistles, mesmerised by the flashes of colour and light. It felt as if I was pulled in a thousand directions at once. I tried to stay close to mum, I really did, but I was just going to look at a box of building blocks when a jeans-clad leg hit my backpack and spun me around violently.

                 ‘Stupid brat!’ the owner of the leg said as he moved on. Dazed, I realised I had lost mummy. I looked, and I looked, but I couldn’t see her through the forest of people. I flattened myself against the shelving, trying to stay away from further mischief. I thought that maybe I should climb the shelf, so that I could see over the crowds and maybe spot my mum, but then I remembered that I had promised mum that I would go outside and wait for her beside the door. With a last, yearning look at all the toys, I squeezed through the horde until I came to the place my mum had indicated.

                 It seemed to take forever, but finally I saw mum emerge from the store, a beautiful big red race car clutched in her hand. As she did, though, a siren went off. She rushed over, stretched out her hand to me, but before I could take it, a large man in a navy suit grabbed her shoulder.

                 ‘Ma’am, you are under arrest for shoplifting. Please come with me.’ I saw the worry in her eyes as she looked at me.

                 ‘Stay there, I’ll come back for you,’ I think she mouthed while she was being dragged back into the shop. I sat down on the pavement, my backpack in my arms, leaned back against the window and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, a police car pulled up in front of the store. One of the officers went in, and came out a little later, steering mum through the staring crowds. She was in handcuffs. I got up and tried to get to her, but before I could squeeze through the line of onlookers, she was in the backseat of the police car, and it started to pull away. The man who had put his hand on her shoulder was standing there, looking at the police car drive away.

                 ‘MUM! Mummy!’ I cried, trying to get to her. People were staring, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get to her. The tears were streaming down my face as she was driven out of sight. ‘Mummy…’ I whimpered.

                 ‘Hey, buddy,’ I heard a voice say next to me. The security man had squatted down next to me and looked at me with concern. ‘Was that your mummy in the car?’ I nodded. ‘Oh no.’ He sighed. ‘You’d better come with me.’ I shook my head violently. I’d been told all about stranger danger, and after all, mummy had said I should wait for her here. The man smiled. ‘I understand,’ he said, ‘but it’s a bit of a problem. It could be a long time before she can come collect you, and it is quite cold out here. And it looks like it will rain. We will go back into the store, and you can wait for her in my office, okay?’ Reluctantly, I nodded.

                 ‘But how will she know where I am?’ I blubbered. The tears were really streaming down my face now.

                 ‘I’ll tell you what, I’ll call the police station and let them know, okay?’ He took my hand and led me back into the toy store. Large as he was, he didn’t have much difficulty navigating the crowds, all I had to do was stay close in his wake. Soon, he led me through a door at the back of the shop, through a deserted corridor and into a small, cluttered office at the end. He let go of my hand to move a pile of papers and boxes from one of the chairs. ‘Sit down,’ he said as he dumped the pile on the ground. I shrugged off the backpack and climbed onto the seat. He moved to the chair behind the desk.

                 ‘So, what’s your name, buddy?’ I thought about my answer, but couldn’t think of a reason not to tell him.

                 ‘Sean,’ I said.

                 ‘I’m Gabriel. And how old are you, Sean?’

                 ‘Five,’ I answered, ‘but I’ll be six in this many days!’ I held up three fingers. The man looked startled.

                 ‘It’s your birthday in three days? So was the race car for you, then?’ I looked at him without understanding. ‘I’m sorry lad, do you understand what has happened today? Your mum stole something from the shop,’ he indicated the large, bright-red race car that sat on top of one of the piles of paper on his desk, ‘this race car, in fact.’ He fell silent and looked at me. ‘Now, she shouldn’t have done that, but if I look at you, I think that maybe your mum doesn’t have a lot of money, am I right?’

                 ‘I…I don’t know,’ I said truthfully.

                 ‘Of course you don’t. I’m sorry. I just wondered; do you have a lot of toys at home?’

                 ‘I have a Jo-Jo,’ I said. ‘It’s all scratched and dented, but it still works fine. It used to belong to Chrissy.’

                 ‘I see. And do you have any other toys? Stuffed animals, maybe?’

                 ‘I have Chimpy,’ I said, wondering what answers the man really wanted from me. ‘He’s a monkey. But most of his insides have come out, and he only has one eye.’ The man looked more and more angry as I spoke. He sounded kind, though.

                 ‘Right. Would you like some chocolate, Sean?’ I nodded. Chocolate was a rare treat for me. Gabriel stood up. ‘Okay, wait here, I’ll go get you some.’ While he was gone, I looked around the room. There were toys everywhere: a giant stuffed giraffe sat in the corner, one ear hanging by a thread. There was a plastic doll, glamorously smiling from a bright pink, but torn box, sitting on a shelf that also held a pile of toy cars and a deck of cards. A Nintendo Switch and a stack of gamecards were sitting on the desk, half-hidden under a pile of paper. But on top, glorious in its perfection, sat the race car, the one that my mother had held when Gabriel stopped her. It was so shiny and bright, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off it. I was tempted to pick it up so I could play with it, but what if Gabriel were to come back and get angry with me? I sat on my hands while I thought about this, just to make sure that I wouldn’t grab it.I was still looking at the race car when Gabriel walked back in the room.

                 ‘Huh, you really like that car, don’t you?’ He asked while handing me a slab of chocolate. I nodded, then realised I would probably sound nicer if I actually spoke.

                 ‘I-I-I do,’ I stammered. Gabriel smiled, picked up the car and handed it to me.

                 ‘Have you ever played with one of these before?’ I shook my head sadly.

                 ‘No sir.’

                 ‘Well, you can play with it while we wait.’ He picked up the phone, dialled a number and had a short conversation with the person on the other side while I marvelled at the perfection of the race car. When he hung up, he turned to me.

                 ‘I’ve just spoken to the police. We won’t be pressing charges. Do you know what that means?’ I shook my head. ‘It means your mum will be here soon, and the two of you can go home. So sit tight, okay?’ He looked like he was thinking for a while. ‘In fact, you know what, I’m going to let you keep that car. An early birthday present from me. Would you like that?’ I felt my eyes go wide and nodded hard. ‘I’m just going to clear it with my boss, okay? In the meantime, you can put it in your backpack, alright?’ Gabriel walked out again while I struggled with my bag. I had just zipped it up when the door opened again. This time, Gabriel wasn’t alone.

                 ‘Mummy!’ I ran into her arms. She swept me up and held me close.

                 ‘I’m so, so sorry,’ she whispered in my ear.

                 ‘it’s okay,’ I whispered back, ‘ you’re forgiven.’ I pressed my nose to hers in the same way she always did to me before lights out. She laughed and cried at the same time, then hugged me even harder.

                 ‘We’ll be out of your hair now,’ she said to Gabriel. ‘It won’t happen again, I promise.’

                 ‘Wait for a moment. I, uh…, well, I guess I realised you don’t have much money… let me call a taxi for you, okay? My treat.’ He picked up the phone.

                 ‘Why? Why would you do that?’ Mum sounded really surprised.

                 ‘Well, uh…, your boy, well, he’s a really good kid, and uh… well, he told me it’s his birthday soon, and uh… well, I just want to do something nice, is all.’ Mum looked at me.

                 ‘Sean, you say thank you to that nice gentleman, okay? He’s done something really kind today.’ She set me down and gave me a soft push in Gabriel’s direction.

                 ‘Thank you, Gabriel, sir!’ I said. He chuckled.

                 ‘That’s okay, kid, glad I could help.’ He escorted us to the front of the store and waited with us for the taxi.

I waved at Gabriel as the taxi drove away from the store. After it turned the corner and I knew we were out of sight, I zipped open my backpack. Mum glanced over.

                 ‘What do you have there, honey? Is that the race car he gave you?’

                 ‘Yeah, that too,’ I answered. I took the toy car out and put it on the seat beside me, then plunged my hand back into the bag. I grinned at her while I drew out my brand-new Nintendo Switch and slid a game card into the slot.

July 23, 2024 08:05

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3 comments

Brian Haddad
17:48 Aug 05, 2024

lol This was cute. It takes a lot of care to write a child's perspective in a way that doesn't annoy adults or feel unrealistic. You certainly found a nice balance for this story.

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Paula Mulroy
06:26 Jul 31, 2024

Thank you! It was fun writing this.

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Amanda Fox
17:43 Jul 29, 2024

Oho, I was not expecting that twist! Nice one!

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