The Hiraeth of Urien Rheged

“This is… not what I expected.” Ser Aeron lowered the tip of her sword.

“I’m sorry to disappoint.”

“No, no, it’s not your fault. It’s just… you know. You’re a dragon. A famous dragon. They’re expecting me to bring back some gold. Or gems. Fancy garments maybe. Not… an old fishing pole.”

“They will have to accept that things don’t often turn out how we’d expect.

“Is this really all there is? You don’t have anything hiding around the corner or in a chest buried somewhere?”

“Everything you see is all I have.”

Ser Aeron looked around at the piles of miscellaneous objects around the cavern, none of them appearing to contain anything of value. “Hmm. This isn’t like the stories at all. What about the songs and tales of dragons bathing in liquid gold and sleeping on mountains of treasure?”

“I suppose a cave full of sentimental junk doesn’t make for a compelling story.”

Ser Aeron walked to the weathered rod she had spied atop a pile of rotting junk and hesitantly picked it up with her free hand, worried somewhat that the object would disintegrate in her armored palm at any moment. “Why do you bother keeping all this garbage?”

Urien’s tail followed his body smoothly as he turned around and lumbered slowly to a large pile in the back corner of the cave. He slumped down onto his belly next to it and picked up a large book from the pile, cracking it open with the claws on his thumb and forefinger to reveal pressed flowers between the pages. “Look harder.”

Ser Aeron squinted slightly and stared hard at the pole in her hand. “All I see is a bit of rot starting to—“ Suddenly, the cave was gone, and she was standing beneath gently swaying trees on a riverbank. A small dragon with brightly shining red scales sat next to a much larger blue dragon near the edge of the gently flowing water. Each held a fishing pole between their claws, casting them lazily out into the stream. The little red dragon looked up at the big blue one, a beaming smile on his snout. The blue dragon turned, returning the grin and patting the little dragon on the back.

The cave returned and Ser Aeron was left blinking, her eyes struggling to be sure what was really in front of them. “What was that? Where did I go?”

“A dream. A dream of a place that I no longer know how to find.” Urien closed the book, placing it back on the pile. He crossed his arms and rested his large head heavily on them, his eyelids sliding over his slitted pupils.

Ser Aeron set the fishing rod back and rested her hand atop a large ball made of chainmail sitting nearby.. She stared at it until she was suddenly standing in the open sky, clouds drifting by, above, and below her. She saw a red dragon much like the little one she had seen fishing just moments before, only much larger. The creature was zooming back and forth in wild loops with several other dragons of similar size, but various color patterns, as they batted the chainmail ball back and forth through the air with their powerful paws. Occasionally, one would blast it with a stream of bright fire, sending the ball higher into the sky, a faint glow of orange forcing on it a minor resemblance to a dull, falling sun. 

The glumness of the cave overtook her once more. She looked over and saw Urien still lying with his head on his paws, as if asleep, though Ser Aeron was sure he was not. The flickering torches provided minimum visibility, but it was enough for her to see the faded color in the dragon’s scales as the light bounced off them. “You’re the little red dragon.”

“I was the little red dragon. I dare say my scales have become somewhat more of a rust than a red in recent years. I suppose that’s what I get for not polishing regularly.”

“These are your memories.”

“Yes.”

“All of these?”

“Every object in this room, except for the ones you brought in with you.”

Ser Aeron scanned the two dozen or so piles lying around the open cavern. “There’re so many.”

“There were many memories to collect.”

“But, like... why? Can you not remember anything unless you attach it to an object?”

“Of course I can. But dragons live for a very long time, and every memory would be too much to bear for a single head, even one as massive as mine. A dragon’s hoard allows them peace of mind that they won’t forget.”

Ser Aeron walked over to a different pile, picking up an old, steel helmet from its base. “I see I’m not the first knight to come here.”

“No. Nor is it likely you will be the last.”

Ser Aeron stared at the helmet, waiting for the cave walls to be replaced by a forest, or maybe the ocean at sunset, but the cave walls remained. “I think this one’s broken.” Ser Aeron turned to the dragon and found he was no longer there. She heard a clattering behind her and spun around quickly to see the dragon reared up over a knight in full plate armor. The dragon’s scales were once again a blazing red, and it let out a roar that shook thousands of rock flakes loose from the walls and ceiling. The knight swung their sword futilely at the beast, quickly disarmed by a single swipe from the mighty dragon. The knight froze in place, unable to move even as their head and shoulders disappeared in Urien’s gaping mouth. A full set of razor sharp teeth clamped down tightly on the knight’s torso.

Ser Aeron threw the helmet and pointed her sword out sharply at the once again resting dragon. “You killed that knight..”

“Yes. They broke into my home and threatened to steal my possessions and my life.”

“Well… I’m a knight. Are you going to try and kill me?”

Urien sighed. “No.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to try to kill you.” 

Ser Aeron dropped the tip of her sword again and placed a hand on her hip. “And why not? I came here to kill you too, you know.”

“If you must.” Urien rolled over onto his back, keeping his eyes closed as he clasped his claws together on his stomach.. “Just make it quick.”

“Oh. Okay.” Ser Aeron approached the dragon cautiously, waiting for it to spring its trap, to take a viscous swipe that would knock her head clean off her shoulders. It was only when she was standing at the dragon’s side, her sword poised to strike deep into the beast’s chest, that she realized there was no trap to be sprung. “You really want to die that badly?”

“I want to go home,” Urien said calmly, his eyes still closed, “but this is the only place I have to go. I only have my cave and my precious memories. Though I can’t bear to part with a single one, when I look at them, all I feel is overwhelming hiraeth.”

“Maybe you just need a vacation. Don’t you have some friends or family you could visit?”

“No.”

“What about all the other dragons I saw in your memories? Surely some of them would be happy to see you.”

“They are gone. Either to a world beyond this one, or just gone from me.”

“I see.” Ser Aeron looked around the cave, unsure of exactly what she was looking for. “So, you’re just going to sit in this cave forever and look at all this stuff that makes you sad?”

Urien opened a single eye to look at her before closing it again. “I don’t care for the way you put it, but yes, I am.”

“That’s… That’s just terrible. Like, really depressing.”

“I’m aware.”

“Why don’t you do something about it then? I mean, there’s a whole world out there. When’s the last time you even left this cave?”

The dragon sighed again. “What day of the week is it?”

“It’s Tuesday.”

“Then it’s been about twenty-five years.”

“What? How are you even still alive? What do you eat?”

“Whatever wanders in. A squirrel here or there, a bear, some deer—the occasional squire.”

“Oh. Well, still, you should get out there. Staying in here can’t be good for your health.”

Urien opened his eyes, rolling over onto his stomach and facing Ser Aeron, bringing his snout close enough for her to feel his surprisingly cold breath on her cheeks. “Are you really suggesting I, a dragon, abandon my hoard? To leave it unprotected?”

“Yes?”

“That’s ridiculous. Unheard of.”

“So is a dragon that literally rolls over so it can be stabbed through the chest.”

“I cannot leave. These memories belong to me. The farther I get from them, the more my heart will burn. And I cannot take them with me, there is too much for me to hold.”

Ser Aeron scratched her chin. “Okay. Then give them to me.”

“What?”

“Give it all to me. Then they won’t be yours anymore. You’ll be free.”

Urien arched a single brow. “And what would you do with all of this? You yourself called it, ‘garbage.’”

“I don’t know. Take it back with me? There’s got to be a few good stories hiding in here, and that’s all the people really want.”

It was Urien’s turn to scratch his chin. “It is an… interesting proposal.” He raised his head and looked over the centuries of memories piled around the room, a look of pain and longing washing over his face. “But I’m afraid to forget.”

“Sometimes, you just have to let go. You might miss out on all the new memories to be made if you don’t.”

Urien looked into Ser Aeron’s eyes, and, slowly, the pain disappeared.. “Perhaps you’re right. Okay. You have a deal. But there is one more memory to be made. Hold out your sword.”

Ser Aeron held her sword up to the dragon, hoping that she hadn’t brought back some of the fire in him only for him to take her sword and burn her to a crisp. She watched the dragon rise to his feet before leaning in and softly exhaling along the blade, the metal glowing a faint blue for a moment before fading back to its original grey hue.

“Knights have slayed dragons before, but you might be the first to save one. Thank you.” Urien walked past Ser Aeron toward the first pile she had touched.. He picked up the old fishing pole, turning it over in his hand. “Do you think I will forget everything?”

“No. Not the really important stuff.” Ser Aeron walked over and gently touched the fishing pole. The cave walls disappeared and she found herself at the riverbank once more, only Urien was standing with her, watching himself fish with the big, blue dragon. “Some of it might still hurt, but a little bit of hurt is okay.”

The two of them watched the fishing dragons quietly until the cave walls returned.

“Would it be wrong of me to keep just this one?”

“No, I suppose not. Not if it feels right.”

Urien exhaled over the pole, causing it to glow momentarily.

“What did you do? You didn’t destroy it, did you?”

“No, just added to it.” Urien tucked the pole into a pouch in his stomach before lumbering to the dark entrance to the cavern, stopping to turn around and gaze at his hoard for the last time. “Thank you for everything you’ve given me, but it’s time for me to move on.” He looked over at the young knight, bowing his head slightly. “I will see you around, Ser Aeron.” Urien Rheged turned and disappeared into the darkness.

Ser Aeron sheathed her sword, looking around again at all the many items piled high throughout the cave. She rubbed her forehead, her lips buzzing as she exhaled slowly.

“Really should have brought a wagon.”