Blockbuster Night

Blockbuster Night.

By Ed Coulstring

I am the greatest wedding gift of all time.  When newlyweds Larry And Lisa opened me they nearly burst with excitement.  I Was the newest model with all the bells and whistles, the hottest thing in entertainment for 1992.  When they got me home I went right to the top shelf, the crowning jewel of the entertainment center.  Just under me tele, the dude who made it all  possible. Tele was the canvas to my paint.  Next to tele on his own shelf, my best bud, spools.  

Spools was the master of the jams.  Laying down killer grooves,  creating gardens of sound from the groove in his heart, much to the de-light of Larry and laura. We would listen to tunes and rock out from evening till early morning.  The nineties was an exciting time in music, But it was also an exciting time in film.  Whenever I saw those small blue and white boxes I knew it was going to be a blockbuster night.  We got goofy with Wayne and Garth, watched tim burton reinvent batman, and let wes craven scare the heck out of us.  

The perfume of popcorn wafting through the air meant we were close. The lights went out, SHOWTIME!

It was 1995 When something terrible happened to spools.  A New Guy had shown up  on the entertainment center.  Spools was taken out of his comfy little compartment and replaced with something called a C.D player, I just called him disks.  I really didn’t care for him, His shiny space-age CDs with numbered tracks for easily finding songs, and his flawless sound quality.  He could never replace the late nights getting crazy with reels.  My boy had been packed up in a box and shipped to the basement, where tech goes to die.  I Stopped enjoying music nights as much,  I still enjoyed laughing and listening with Larry and Lisa, but I sometimes wondered, did they even remember the times we had before disks? Did they ever miss spools? Would they miss me?

Some time passed, and I was starting to accept the loss of spools, until Christmas of 1997.  The  morning had played out like something from a movie.  The snow covered the ground and the hot cocoa filled the mugs.  Cozy by the tree, Larry and Lisa opened their stockings, and were exchanging gifts.  “I hope you like it.” Larry grinned, handing Lisa a package wrapped in shiny gold paper  adorned with a fancy red bow.  LIsa Unwrapped the gift, exposing my new nemesis.  It was thin, shiny black, with gold trim, gorgeous!  I felt a pain deep in my gears as a smile took over lisas whole face.  I had heard of D.V.D. players, but I never would have thought in a million years THIS would happen.  That afternoon they smacked the devil's invention right on top of me and proceeded to watch the new special effects marvel, Jumanji!.

What is this? Special features, Jump to a scene, Directors commentary, bonus reels. I hated this machine.  I wasn’t packed up like reels, I was moved to the bottom shelf of the entertainment center.I was forced to spend the next 15 years watching Him (I called him he who shall not be named) steal my reason for existing. Larry and Lisa  slowly forgot about me down here collecting dust.  I watched in jealousy as cinema evolved before me, the sixth sense shattered our reality, New  computerized special effects electrified the screen, and Johnny Depp as the mad hatter.  The years dragged on, the world got dumber as the televisions got smarter until sometime in 2011 When Tele was replaced by some huge flat monstrosity.  That day Larry asked Lisa if she wanted to watch a movie, she agreed and something great happened.  Larry didn’t go over to the dvd player and plug in a movie, instead he held the remote up to the hipster beard  and He simply uttered  one word.  “NETFLIX”

A screen came up on the new-aged telel revealing what seemed like an endless collection of movie titles.  That day marked the imminent end of the DVD player.  I felt a little bad because I know how it feels to not be needed.  I was not a necessary device, I was just a decoration, a conversation piece. Company would giggle and say “I can't believe you still have one of these”  and soon I would be forgotten again.  I sit down here waiting for a day that will never come. I continued to watch the world grow through new movies. I watched the epic unfolding of the marvel universe,  The rise of Apollos son,  And the reinvention of king kong. Unfortunately I had to watch it from the outside.  At one time I had tasted victory over the dreaded betamax, I had been on the cutting edge of technology, and I had brought happiness to my owners. I watched from the bench as the game of film changed,  What I would give for one more movie night. Then came the greatest day in 25 years,  March of 2020,  Larry and Lisa were quarantined.  A few days sheltered in place, and the boredom was eating them alive. Then Lisa came up with the best plan ever.

“Hey let's get out the old v.h.s. tapes and have a movie day. “

Larry smiled in agreement and disappeared for a moment reapering with a large brown box filled to the brim with all the great moments we had shared.  As he put down the box Larry looked doubtful “hopefully this old thing still works”.  I was thinking the same thing, it had been twenty five years since my wheels had even turned.  Larry chose  the silence of the lambs, a classic.  To my own surprise I played, and I played, I played like it was my first day out of the box. Movie after movie, the room filled with nostalgia, these simple movies were a time machine bringing Larry and Lisa back to a simpler time.  All we needed were some flannel shirts and a couple of jolt colas.  

As the last minutes of pulp fiction wrapped up and the two were getting ready for bed I felt amazing.  I had gotten to relive my glory days.  The feeling of being on top again, if only for tonight, had brought me peace.  As the triumphant night ended I heard Lisa say.  Leave the movies out, I think we should check out a few more tomorrow