Piggy in the middle

Lauren came storming down the stairs, her mother in pursuit Her arms waved and swirled like two hurricanes as she screamed through her croaky, warn-out lungs.

Lauren: "I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD THINK FOR ONE MOMENT I WOULD ACT SO CHILDISH AND VILE."

Her mother's tone was soft but harsh; she played the "victim" very well, her petty jabs, and her suggestion of an insult at the end of her sentences. If you weren't looking closely, you could mistake her mother for a loving woman.

Mother: "I'm just saying you usually carry yourself in a very headstrong, hard and bull in a China shop sort of manner."

Lauren looked at her disgustedly, and somehow her mother always managed to paint her as a BIG BULGING ugly creature of a thing, her slight choice of words suggesting she was rough and hard handed when all Lauren wanted the world to see was that she was a soft, gentle, and kind girl.

Lauren: "I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT YOU REALLY DONT KNOW ME AT ALL."

Mother: "How can I not know you? I spent 18 years raising you, haven't I?"

Lauren: "Oh, really, because I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION I HAD RAISED MYSELF."

Those words hit a nerve, and about time, Laruen's mother seemed to insist on plucking her nerves rather like a HARD-HANDED harp player.

Her mother's persona shattered her low and contained voice with a hidden smirk that fell to pieces.

and the snap crackle and pop of a pushed over the edge mother replaced it.

mother: "HOW DARE YOU YOU HAD A WONDERFUL CHILDHOOD?"

"oink oink"

The room fell silent. Both looked at each other in confusion. Their heads turned and they scanned the room in separate directions, trying to find the source of the sound.

Lauren: "What the hell was that?"

Her voice was like gravel; all the shouting had taken its toll, and now her throat burnt like someone had poured slowly-dying fire embers into the back of her mouth.

"oink oink"

Lauren's eyes still scanned the room, her brows furrowing in complete bemusement.

Lauren: "Is that a..."

mother: "pig"

Lauren followed her mother's gaze, which was cast upon a small, muddy pink and sniffly pig that sat happily on the stone kitchen floor, staring at the both of them.

Lauren: "How the where the what the?"

"oink oink"

Her mother made her way towards the pig slowly in case it suddenly flew up and bit her.

Lauren and her mother didn't have much experience with pigs as they lived slap bang in the centre of a large city in a tall tower block surrounded by other very tall tower blocks and roads, lots and lots of roads, and no farms, so how the hell had a pig not only got here from the far off country side but made its way through pedestrian and animal hitting traffic up a 12-story tower block and into not anyone's living room but their living room?

Lauren: "How in the seven shades of everything that's good and holy did a pig get here?"

Her mother very slowly tiptoed her way towards a tea towel.

Mother: "I don't know, but we should probably call someone."

Lauren chuckled slightly and stared at the phone.

Lauren: "Who the hell do you call in a situation like this?"

Her mother unravelled the tea towel and stepped carefully towards the pig, who stared up at her with a sweet expression, not understanding why a massive woman was heading towards it with an unravelled tea towel and a terrified expression on its face.

mother: "Try animal control."

Lauren picked up the phone. She couldn't help but smirk at the observation of the situation. She searched through the book of occasionally helpful numbers their landlord had given them and found one for animal control. She dialled it and waited on hold. Peering to her left, she saw her mother preparing to pounce upon the pig, presumably about to use the tea towel as some kind of pig-catching device.

Lauren got through.

Lauren: "Oh, hello there, I was just wondering if we could get some help removing an animal from our apartment."

There was a loud crash she watched as her mother jumped and missed the pig, causing it to go skittering into the cupboard out of fright.

Animal control: Yes, in the name, effectively removing infestations of animals is the game. How can I help?"

Lauren: "Well, there's a pig in our apartment."

Another loud crash sounded as Lauren's mother stood upon the kitchen counter, trying to bat the acrobat aerodynamic pig down from behind the gap in the spice cupboard.

Lauren snorted, laughing a little.

animal control: "a pig, you say in the city?"

Lauren: Yeah, I know right, but its causing quite a lot of trouble. Do you think there's anyway you could remove it for us?"

Animal control: "Yes, of course, what's the address?"

"Oink oink oink sqeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkk."

mother: "No, that's my best bowl!"

SMASH

Lauren placed her finger in her ear to try and hear the line better.

Lauren: "It's 21 Epworth Street, Block 5, Apartment 19."

Animal control: "My god, your not even on the ground floor. How the hell did a pig get up there?"

Lauren: Honestly, I haven't got a clue."

She peered round and saw her mother dripping head to foot in strawberry jam, having a face-to-face with the pig, who now stood trotters and all on the kitchen table, also dripping in what appeared to be apricot jam.

Lauren chuckled

Lauren: "please hurry"

She hung up and walked over to the open doorway. She peered into the kitchen, which looked like it had been hit by a bloody great bomb. shelves swung back and forth half hanging of walls plates knives and forks lay scattered across the floor the ingredients to what looked like spaghetti beef stew and trifle was dripping out from the pantry and like a western shoot out her mum and the pig stood in a stare down her mums weapon of choice still the tea towel the pigs weapon of choice trotters and teeth Lauren couldn't help but be amused the silence the tension the atmosphere Laurens eyes switched from pig to mum to pig to mum

Everything was still and quiet. Mum made her move. She swooped to the left. The pig scuttered right. She swivelled round to the right. The pig shot left. The pig found himself in a dead end corner. Her mother went in with a smile of determination plastered on her face. Her tea towel was raised and ready.

The pig swooped under her legs, clambered onto the cooker, scrambled across the switches, and lit the gas.

Everything went into slow motion. Lauren watched as her mother swooped her tea towel right into the high burning flame; it caught on fire instantly. Her mother let out a panicked scream, dropping the scolding hot tea towel onto the floor. A frightened squeal was heard as it singed the pig. Lauren watched as her mother's terrified eyes turned towards her.

Her mother ran with outstretched arms towards Lauren, and Lauren felt her mother's warm embrace as she instinctively tried to save her only daughter.

The poorly built flat shot up in flames. Lauren ran with her mother out of the building, breaking the glass and setting the fire alarm. On the way, they covered themselves with their jackets as the smoke began billowing out.

Lauren and her mother sat huddled up on the grass verge under a fireproof blanket, the heat from the flames still billowing out of the building. Firefighters all gathered round and tried to calm the people and the scorching flats.

Everyone had gotten out safely and sat watching the remains of their home burn.

Lauren tried to keep her head down, feeling guilty that it was because of them that the fire happened.

She stared up at the black smog patch that used to be their apartment.

She snuggled in tighter to her mom.

Her mom smiled down and pulled her closer.

Lauren: "That was all our fault."

Mother: "Yes, but it wasn't just us; it was that bloody pig to."

Lauren: "But you are home."

Lauren looked up at her mother with saddened eyes.

Mother: "It was only walls and doors. Well, find another one. The main thing is your safe."

Lauren looked deep into her mother's eyes.

Lauren: Because of you, yes, you saved me."

Mother: "Well, your a massive pain in the arse, but your still my daughter, so I thought I should at least try and get you out instead of letting you get sick."

Lauren giggled a little. Her mother smiled and kissed her head.

mother: "Through all are arguments, I'm still your mother."

Lauren smiled warmly and snuggled into her mother.

Mother: "I know it's wrong to say, but I don't half hope that pig got turned into bacon."

Lauren gasped and laughed.

Lauren: "Mum, you can't say that."

her mother giggled

She looked into Lauren's eyes sincerely.

mother: "I love you."

Lauren looked up at her even through the observation of the day. This moment was so tender and sweet. Lauren's face warmed.

Lauren: "I love you to mom."