2.17.23 9 a.m. est

The first things I think about when I’m talking to myself are always: what’m I gonna eat and whose fault is everything. That’s not a spiritual question, the first one. That’s practical. The second one is easy. The physics of the universe has brought us to this point. Of course that’s a bit dodgy. Physics I hear can be complicated. I wonder why I need any explanation in a place that is supposedly infinite. If that’s true, infinity, then doesn’t that answer every question. The answer is yes. And no. yes and no. Exactly. I wonder how many times I will try these questions. I wonder if you try them too? What is it we are searching for? What’s the motive? Is there an ulterior? Enough questions. I do feel tough in this world of questions. Of thoughts. I’m a tough person. You can’t touch me, can’t even come close. In fact you can’t come within infinity of me. But as soon as I leave this world I’m in trouble. Philosophy appears to be a pacifier. A way to pass the time. A fun little rainy day. What are you going to do? Like actually physically do? Well nothing. I’m writing, that’s what I do. This is entertainment, that’s a thing and I am doing it. Like a person on the news. Filling time, they blather on, just saying anything. It’s their job, it’s a magic trick. The trick is that something has been done. Nothing has been done of course. You listening is not doing something. Them talking is not doing something. It’s a tacit agreement to pass the time together. Most importantly pass the time not in the real world but in our imaginations. I suppose this has always happened to some degree. Perhaps a little more wealth in general for our society has meant a little more ability to waste time. And waste we do. We talk, we listen, we talk, we listen. It’s nice but man it gets a old. The trick, the gimmick. Everyone handles it different I guess. Maybe some people just keep searching until they wind up down rabbit hole and make a nice little den for themselves. All the old noise fades away and they explore their little favorite bit of entertainment endlessly. Others just keep jumping around, bouncing from hole to hole. They pop in, say hello, make an unfounded comment or observation or two and bounce to the next. Some turn away in disgust, never to return. Some leave for a time then return, chastened. Then they leave again. Then they return. The world of abstraction and bullshit. Come on in, give us a try. We’ll complain about everything. Most of all ourselves, cause that’s what smart people do. Talk talk talk, words words words. What should I do, now that I’ve had my fill? I know, I’ll get food. That’s real, that’s something.

Dang. That didn’t work. I know, how about a new idea. Something bold, something special. I want to change the world with my words. Wait a minute. What a minute! Maybe this is it. Maybe this, the very thing I have just written is it. No. No definitely not. Okay that’s fine. I’m close, I can feel it. Let’s see what have I got from my old bag of tricks. Self-referential, nope obviously already tried that. We should help the poor children… no that’s played out plus that’s the last thing we want to hear with a covid hangover. The repercussions of simultaneous multiple realities? No, I don’t know what they are. How about a re-exploration of the classics? I think therefore I am. Everybody’s thinking so everybody is! This is good news, good evidence that no evil gods are controlling us. In the old days barely anybody was thinking, everybody was too busy doing or dying. Maybe that’s the issue here, we don’t die enough to force us to do so therefore we think so therefore we am. And am’ing is just about driving us crazy. And if we keep am’ing like this we risk dying again. Like a lot. And if we all die cause of the lack of doing, well then we aren’t. And then… well I don’t remember what that guy said about that. He just said we are but not what if we become aren’t. Let’s see maybe I can help him with this. If we aren’t, then… that would be bad. That doesn’t really have a ring to it. I think we could cease to exist, I mean the idea of ceasing to exist is at least a valid real thing cause I just thought it. But that thought is sort of like infinity. I know of it but I can’t really feel it. Like what does infinity feel like, what emotion is it? What does all people not existing feel like. What does nothing feel like emotionally? Sad. Oh man I don’t know if that worked, the original guy’s thing was a lot more cheery. So to not feel sad we should do. We do therefore we are. Not we think therefore we are. What a idiot. Fixed that, okay what else. Modern times, robots. Oh robots are good. Cause they’re evil. No they’re not. We have the makings of something profound. Are we all already robots. What if they’re better then us. What if they hurt us. What if they get confused. What if they take our jobs… what if they write better than me? I think therefore I’m inferior. Will they make us do, or will they do all the doing. And all the thinking. Both. Maybe they’ll help us figure all this thinking doing stuff out. I doubt it. Parents are smarter than kids and look how much help they are. People are smarter than dogs, what have we done for them? I was just kidding before about the food, I really didn’t get it, I just kept writing. Now I’ll eat and after that we’ll tackle this robot infinity thing, I think we’re close to something.