The lights will go out but love will always shine

On a stormy night, I got off work and arrived at the gate of my new home. The wind was blowing hard on the road. The whole world was gloomy. Only a lighting store not far away had lights on. I walked in, hoping to find a place to keep warm in such an environment, waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up. 

"Hello, do you want to buy a light bulb?" 

"No, I'll just take a look." 

"Really? There's nothing you want here. Go away." 

"Wait a minute, do you know me?" 

"I know everyone." 

"How long have you lived here?" 

"More than 20 years!" 

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off, very strange. 

"Go away, go quickly." 

What a weird person. 

"I'm here to pick you up, baby, why are you here?" 

"I haven't asked you yet! Did you see the news this morning? A truck collided with a bus and the driver died after failed rescue." 

"Well, the driver tried hard to change the direction to minimize the damage. It's a very sad thing. Go home first! ”

On the way home, it was gloomy. There was always singing echoing here. The strange behavior of the lighting shop owner. The empty streets and the houses without lights, etc.

Woke up the next day

”Look! Baby, I bought the brush you wanted. You can start painting the wall! ”

“Great” 

It was still cloudy outside, no sun, but I couldn’t feel panic. Maybe it was the charm of love.

“Love you, be careful”

“Ah”

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’ll wash my hands.”

Looking at the handprints on the wall, the bits and pieces between my boyfriend and I appeared in front of me. No matter how hard and tired life was, we had endured it because we believed that we were the right people and we could go to the end. Suddenly, on a whim, I took my right hand and put it together with his handprint on the wall, and formed a heart, imagining the scene of our marriage in the future. But what I didn’t know was that he was behind me, watching me silently. But a few seconds later, crystal clear tears rolled down one by one like pearls with broken strings.

Soon, one strange thing after another washed away the joy of being with my boyfriend. Everything here is wrong. It can be said that there is no normal person. A woman with nails growing inside her fingers, a boy with two shadows, a child who bleeds every night...

“I’m going to the lighting store. The boss must know something!”

“Tonight?”

 "Yes, wait for me. I'll be back soon!" 

". . . Go ahead. Don't worry." 

Lighting store 

I pushed the door open and the boss was not there. But there was a gorgeous, enchanting, and slightly charming box on the table. Driven by curiosity, I opened the box. Inside were clean light bulbs with names on them. 

"Do you want to go home?" 

I turned my head suddenly and the boss suddenly appeared in front of me. 

"Do you want to go home?" The boss said, "You think everyone is abnormal, but what about you? Are you normal? When observing others, do you observe yourself? Have you discovered that... You have no shadow." 

There was a sudden thunder and lightning outside, and a flash of lightning flashed by. He was right. I have no shadow. 

My boyfriend appeared in front of me and walked over slowly. "Wake up!" He whispered. 

"No, don't. Don’t leave me along, please." 

"Forget me, be more careful and happy in the future. ”

“No, don't”

A few days ago, lighting store

“Sir, please tell me why my girlfriend is here . This shouldn't be a place for living people. Isn't it only for half-dead people?”

“Yes. You are right. She just couldn't accept your death for a while, so she closed her heart. What you have to do is what you can only do. Only you can help her get out of it as soon as possible and help her accept your death”

“Okay... .” A trembling voice sounded.

I am in pain, but so is he? After I woke up, he returned to the room, looked at the handprints on the wall, smiled, and recalled. But he cried while smiling.

Life around me is still moving forward indifferently, but for me, life seems to be stagnant in some ambiguous borderland, unable to move forward. I spend every day like a zombie, and my once lively self gradually fades into a gray shadow. My eyes, once bright and full of expectations, are now dull, as if I have seen too many things and no longer want to see anything. The weight of the world is like a boulder, pressing me so hard that I can hardly breathe. Every step I take seems to drag myself into a deeper fog.

Friends have mentioned my indifference and alienation more than once. What they can't see is that my silence is not empty, but filled with his absence. Every quiet moment is filled with his laughter and warmth. I still remember his whisper, "Be happy." But that blessing seems to have disappeared with his departure.

Happiness, once such a simple thing, has now become an unattainable concept. I often lie in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, his absence fills the entire room, as if the whole world is suffocating. Dreams became my only safe haven, but even in dreams, he would disappear when I reached out to touch him. Every time I woke up, I would find myself in tears, my pillow soaked, and he would still be far away.

Few years later

News: Recently, a famous surgeon committed suicide at home. The police found a handwritten letter in his home.

In fact, I don't miss you that much. 

It's just that the memories are still kind. 

It seems to stop yesterday. I miss you. 

I pretend to forget. 

In the middle of the night, I imagine your face. 

Now you only appear in my dreams. 

But I can't fall asleep. 

Wait for me. 

Walk slower。

I'm coming to find you.

12.11.2068