Listing Popularity

It's easy to observe. I would not go so far as to call it a skill - however, it is evident that the people who always get to participate never take the time to observe.

I am an observer. It is unclear whether I am an observer because I am an outsider or if I am an outsider because I am an observer. But how else would I get to be like them? Some may call is desperation, or simply just sad. They can stay on the bottom. I will never hang out with the losers. I will be popular or nothing at all. 

Through observation, I have learned who is popular and who is not. Those who are not popular usually are lacking in some way. Sometimes it is looks, brains, or just having any skill at all. The popular people bully the unpopular. Tale as old as time. 

Well I certainly was not going to be unpopular. Could you imagine being content with being a nobody? I was not okay with that. I was better than that.

It was a beautiful fall day when I finally enacted my plan. I was almost scared - what would happen if it did not live up to my dreams? The imaginations that got me through lonely lunches? 

Everyone from school was at the fall festival. Both popular and unpopular. It seemed like so many groups had their own couples within them. Even the freaks.

The first part of my plan was to approach the Populars. They were always all together which made things easy for me. I gained their notice in the best way possible. I brought gossip which in turn brought the interest and attention towards me. 

You and others have wondered why I picked Anne. It wasn't deep, really. I just consulted my list. You see, I kept a list of the unpopular people's flaws. That way I could make sure that flaw wasn't reflected in me. So I just randomly picked a name. It's not my fault that Anne was the freakiest of them all.

I planted the rumor that Anne, the desperate whore that she was, had advanced on Cole, who of course is (or was? No one keeps me up to date now..) Jillian's boyfriend. I whispered loudly to the group about how he had to push her hand away from him, how she leaned into him for a kiss, how he gagged at her terrible breath, how she just could not get a clue and leave him alone!

The group was shocked. Confusingly so, if you ask me (which no one asks me anything anymore). It was time to confront Anne.

Anne was at the fall festival with her boyfriend - like I said, even the unpopular were paired up together. I approached Anne and told her there was a hurt animal in the woods. Knowing her dream to be a vet, I knew she would follow - no question. It must be a bunny or something! I think I said. Do the details really mater?

I had told the Populars to wait in the woods while I fetched Anne so we could confront her. When we arrived in the woods, I told Anne that the group was crowded around the poor animal. And I know what you're thinking - and no, there was never a hurt animal. I'm not that cruel.

When the Populars turned toward us, I knew it was time. Anne's face turned from worry to confusion when I slid the knife out. I started screaming before anyone could say a word. You're a sick freak, did you really think Cole would want you?

I launched myself and started stabbing. It was strange, the Populars didn't look happy at all. In fact, some of them were screaming in terror, and backing away. I was a bully too now. I harmed an unpopular. What more could I do to prove myself?

There was noise all around me. What did you do? Leave her alone! You're a fucking freak! When I heard that, I froze. They viewed me a freak? I was really only doing what they have done, maybe to an extreme, but sometimes you have to do more to achieve more. I mean did they really think I was going to be a Popular who was at the bottom?

The chain of events seemed to happen so fast. The next thing I knew after the attack, with Anne's blood on my hands, I was put in handcuffs. The paramedics placed her in the back of an ambulance. She tried to kill me! I screamed. I was acting in self defense! She's never known when the back off! Just ask Cole! Which, between me and you, never happened. Anne was too blind to see what she had to do to get to the top. She would have never even thought of trying with Cole.

Jillian never thanked me either. Instead, she played the scared witness. She's always been an actress. She pretends like she's always been the most beautiful and smartest woman. I have been observing her the longest. I can tell you, she had to do some serious work to get where she is now. I mean she was the one who bullied Anne relentlessly since middle school! I just finished the job. But now, everyone cries Poor Jillian! She had to witness to monstrosity. What a fucking joke.

I really appreciate you listening to me. After Anne's death, no one wants to talk to me. I've been working on my list for here - the Populars at the prison. I am back to observing for now. There is a lot to observe at this prison. And the rules for popularity don't differ much from school. The Populars still bully the unpopular. The unpopular still lack something. When will they ever learn? Why must I be the only one to see what needs to be done?

I can bet that you wonder what I lacked, right? Why was I never popular? I had to turn to the vicious bullying that I've seen to even have a chance. Isn't is obvious though? I lack morals. Or that's what the judge said.