Family Disrupted

Family Disrupted

A Short Story

By Kathy Hayes

Kirsten knew she should go with grandma, but didn’t want to leave her mommy.  Grandma keeps calling Kirsten.

“Kirsten, please come with me.  It is time for you to come with me darling and I will look after you.”

“Grans, I want to stay with mommy.  She needs me.  She is so sad all the time, and I need to be with her.”

“Kirsten, your mother, will heal in time.  It will never be the same for her, but she has your father to lean on and your brother and sister.”

Kirsten moved away from her grandma and moved toward her mommy.  She was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of her.  She wasn’t crying, but she looked so sad and Kirsten went to stand beside her mother.  Kirsten tried to touch her, but she could not connect.  Her hand went right through her mother’s arm.

“Mommy, can you hear me?  I am right here, beside you.  I will stay with you.  Don’t be sad.”

Her father came into the room, he was carrying a suitcase.

“Are you sure about this, Beth?  Don’t make me leave. I love you.”

“You need to go.  I need time on my own.  It is irrational to blame you, but I can’t help it.  Maybe if I can have time alone to think, then maybe I can move forward.”

Just then, Sally and Mark came racing into the room.  They were both crying.  Sally grabbed her daddy around the legs. 

“Daddy, daddy, please don’t go. Please don’t leave us.”

Daddy stooped down to Sally’s level and said, “Now, now, sweetheart.  This is only for a little while.  Your mother and I have some things to work out, and we both need time to think.”

Kirsten looked at her brother, age 8 and her sister, age 6.  She should be there with them. Kirsten was the oldest, age 10.  She talked to her brother and sister.

“Guys, it is gonna be fine.  I am not going anywhere. I am right here with all of you.”

Her siblings could not hear her.  Kirsten ran over to them and tried to put her arms around them, and again, her arms went right through their bodies.  

Why couldn’t she touch them?  “Grandma, I need to touch Mark and Sally, but I can’t do it.  Can you help me?”

“Darling, I have been trying to tell you.  Only your spirit is here.  You no longer have a body and you can no longer communicate with the living.”

Mark asked his mother, “Mommy, can we go swimming?”

“No!  You can never go swimming again.  We are draining the pool and covering it over.  By the end of the week, we will no longer have a swimming pool.”

“But why mommy?  Sally and I love to swim and we don’t want the pool filled in.”

“Mark, your sister died in that swimming pool and I can’t stand to look at that pool anymore.”

“Grandma, what does mommy mean?  Why is she saying that I died?  I am right here and I don’t understand why no one can hear me.  I want to talk to mommy and daddy.”

“Kirsten, I have been trying to tell you.  You are with me now and you know I am dead and I am so sorry, but you died too.  You drown in the swimming pool.  Darling, you are not alive, only your spirit.”  

Kirsten cried now, and she clung to her grandmother, refusing to believe what she was telling her.  Wasn’t she just swimming in the pool?  Then she remembered.  Mommy told her it was too cold to swim and Mommy wanted me to go to the store with her, but I refused.  Kirsten stayed home with daddy.  Mark and Sally went with mommy.  Daddy laid down on the couch to nap while watching the ballgame.  

When he was asleep, Kirsten slipped into her bedroom, changed into a bathing suit and went out to swim.  Not that cold, and the heater in the pool kept her warm.  She could remember nothing else.  

“Beth, take it easy.  They don’t understand.  We need to get past this pool thing.  It was a terrible thing that happened, but we cannot punish Mark and Sally.  They love the pool and we can make it safer.  I will install a locked gate and make sure they can only swim when supervised.”

“NO!  I will not have that reminder in my backyard for the rest of my life.  I want it gone, and the sooner the better.”

“And I want you to leave because I can’t look at you right now.  You were supposed to be watching her, not napping.  The swimming pool is a no go.”

“You know where to find me if you need me.  I will see you at counseling tomorrow.  Please, think about this and think about you and I.  I know we can move on from this if you will just give us a chance.  You and I, Beth.  Think about us and know that I love you and the kids more than anything.  Let me grieve with you.  I can’t bear the thought of being alone with myself.”

“Dan, I will see you tomorrow and I will think about everything.  I hope I just need time, just some time to myself.”

Daddy walked to the door, turned to look back and opened the back door and walked to the garage.  

“Grandma, where is daddy going?  Why is he leaving?”

“He will be back soon.  Your mommy just needs some time to adjust to her new life.  A life without you Kirsten.”

She ran next door to see her bestie, Ellie.  Kirsten was inside Ellie’s house and looking for her friend.

“Ellie…. Ellie…. Ellie, are you home?”  She could hear music coming from Ellie’s room.  She went inside and saw Ellie on the bed.  Kirsten ran over and jumped on the bed beside Ellie.  

“Ellie, want to play barbie?”  Kirsten was chatting away, and then she noticed Ellie was crying.

“Ellie, what is wrong?  Are you being punished?  What happened?”

Ellie did not respond, and Kirsten realized Ellie had not heard a word she said.  “ELLIE! Why won’t you talk to me?”

Kirsten left Ellie and went in search of Mrs. Wilson.  She was in the living room.  She looked sad and Mrs. Brisco from across the street was with her.

“Joan, this is such a hard thing.  I am so worried about Ellie.  I am not sure she will ever get over this.”

“Eleanor, she just needs time.  Get her plenty of counseling, grief counseling.  Keep her close.  If you keep the lines of communication open, she will come around.  I will tell you one thing.  It is hard to keep faith when something like this happens.  Kirsten was a lovely child.  As you would expect, the devastation her family is feeling is palpable.”

Mrs. Wilson said, “Yes.  Beth asked Dan to move out.  She blames him, you know, and I am not sure she can get past the fact that he was asleep.”

Mrs. Brisco said, “Well, Kirsten was ten, not a baby, and I am sure this was not the only time she was in her home while a parent napped.  He had no way of knowing she would disobey her mother.  Sad situation all the way around.”  

Grandma took Kirsten by the hand.  “Kirsten, it is time for us to go.  You are not alone. I am here for you.”

“Grandma, am I dead?  I am afraid and want mommy to hold me.  I don’t want to be dead.”

“Kirsten, you do not need to be afraid.  Nothing bad can ever again happen to you.  Do you understand?”

“Can we stay just a little longer?  I want to see if daddy comes back home.”

“Mommy will let daddy come home soon.  You do not need to worry.  Would you like to see what happens two months from now?  If I show you, will you go with me?”

“Yes grandma.  Show me and I will go.”

They were back at Kirsten’s house.  They were in the backyard and the swimming pool glistened in the afternoon sun.  It was a warm day with plenty of sunshine.  Kirsten saw Mark and Sally in the pool with daddy.  Mommy was lying on a chase, her face turned toward the sun, her eyes closed.  She had on sunglasses and her big floppy hat.  On the patio, the grill was smoking.

“Dan, I think the burgers are burning.”

Daddy hurried out of the pool, grabbed a towel off a chair and went to the grill.

“Nope.  They are perfect.”  He began scooping them up and placed them on a plate.

“Okay guys, let’s eat them while they are hot.” 

In the patio’s corner, an ice cream freezer whirred away, promising a treat would be available soon.

The gate to the backyard opened and Eleanor and Ellie, along with Eleanor’s husband Ted, came into the backyard.  Kirsten’s mother got up and went to Eleanor, and they shared a hug.  Ellie stripped off her terry-cloth robe and jumped into the pool with Mark and Sally.  Ted walked over to the grill and was chatting with Kirsten’s father.

“I am so glad that you all could come.  I know the children will enjoy spending time with Ellie again.  Who needs a drink?”  Kirsten’s mother walked over to a table with cups, plates, and beverages.

“Wine for me,” Eleanor said.  “Something stronger for me,” Ted said as he walked over to the table.

“Grandma, everyone seems fine.  Do they not miss me anymore?”

“They will always miss you, darling.  But until it is time for them to join you, they will live their lives.”

“Will I be able to see them whenever I want?”

“No, but there will be times in their lives that you will see them from where I am taking you.  Do you understand you can never talk to them again?  Only during special moments you will see them.  It will be fine, you will see. I was just as reluctant as you are now to leave all of you.  If you come with me, Kirsten, you will feel peace.”

“Okay, but let me say goodbye, even if they can’t hear me.”

Kirsten went to her mother.  “I love you, mommy.  I am sorry I did not mind you, but grandma says I will see you again one day.”  Kirsten blew her a kiss.

“Daddy, it was not your fault.  I should not have disobeyed.  I love you so much.”

Kirsten walked into the water where her siblings and best friend were playing.

“Mark, Sally, I love you guys.  You are the best brother and sister a girl could ever have.  Don’t forget me and I will never forget you.”

“Ellie, I wish we could do all the things we talked about.  Junior high, high school, dances, double dating and going off to college together.  I wanted to be your bestie forever.  Go do all those things for both of us Ellie.”

Kirsten came out of the water and went to stand with grandma.  

“Grams, I love my home. I love it here.”

“I know darling, but you are getting a new home and I will be with you every step of the way.”

Grandma went over to Beth, her daughter.

“Have a good life, darling.  I am so proud of you and all that you are.  You did not know your strength, but now you know.”

Grandma looked around the backyard.  “Goodbye my darlings.  Come Kirsten.”

Grandma and Kirsten walked across the lawn, through the back fence, and into the horizon.  Soon they disappeared.

Grandma and Kirsten visited the living, but only on special occasions.  Mark and Sally’s graduations and Ellie’s graduation.  Weddings and anniversaries.  And then, much later, the death of their loved ones. One by one, Kirsten’s family joined her and grandma and before it seemed possible, they were once again all together.  Watching over the next generation.