Lion's Share

Jen placed a beaded crown on her head and stepped back to take herself in. The gemstones draped haphazardly down her forehead and flowed like a waterfall down the back of her gently waved hair. Her diaphanous dress spiderwebbed across her curvy body showing off her thick, strong legs, rounded tummy and perky nipples. A pair of skimpy shorts that just about covered her bottom show through the gauzy fabric. She rubbed her hands over the waves of her body and smiled. 

She used to hate this very same body. He made her hate it. He’d point out flaws as a hobby, grabbing at her flesh like a butcher, pulling her body away from herself. But now she had nothing but love and acceptance for herself, her body and her mind. 

She walked barefoot from the guest room and down the long hallway. Her heart started to beat to the rhythm of the thrumming music and her stomach leapt like a child on a trampoline. 

The Donnell’s parties were always unforgettable and unending. This, the 21st birthday of their daughter, was going to be epic. 

Two topless men stood at the entrance to the ballroom and, as she walked up, they theatrically swung the doors open. The thudding music slammed Jen like a wave. The room was littered with dozens of disco balls on the floor, shelves and ceiling. Colorful strings of bulbs flashed and twinkled. The light bounced off each one giving Jen kaleidoscopic flashes of the party around her.

The invitation read, Roman Orgy Themed Birthday Bash. The recipients had taken note and a sea of barely-there togas, tiny tunics, knee high boots, gladiatorial chest plates and little else filled her view. And that was the men. The women wore gold laurel wreaths, metal shell bras, white gowns with trains longer than was practical, or pretty much nothing at all. 

The Donnell matriarch, Bambi, a stunning white-haired woman in her sixties, was lounging on a large throne at the top of the room. Her gold headdress, layer upon layer of gold chains and slinky gold dress gave the impression of royalty. She was chatting lazily with her older husband, who was in full roman soldier regalia, remarking on all who passed.

A few feet away was Lauren, the birthday girl: Jen's best friend. She swayed to the music, blissfully luxuriating in every beat, deeply aware of her effect on the room. She was circled by an army of besotted men gazing hopelessly at her and wistfully swaying to her rhythm. When she saw Jen she threw her hands in the air and pierced it with a scream of ecstasy. 

“You. Looking. Fucking. Amazing!” Lauren shouted as Jen strutted towards her, only a latent memory of self-awareness causing her to blush gently. 

“I fucking know,” Jen replied and picked Lauren up with a hug.

Before she even put her back to earth, there was a champagne flute in Jen’s hand from one of the mooning boys. 

“Have you seen the lions? Oh my God, wait until you see the lions!” Lauren screamed into Jen’s ear then snatched her hand. They ran; ran out the huge doors to the garden; ran past the fountain littered with revelrous guests; and ran through the gate to the large rose gardens. In the distance, there were lions. Real lions, in a large enclosure. 

“Oh fuck. Actual lions!” Jen gasped, swigging from her glass. 

“Actual lions!” Lauren replied. “They’re rescues. Some psycho millionaire had them as pets. Dad swung it so we could get them for a few hours for the party. He’s sponsoring them. We’re not allowed near them, but we can watch them being fed later. And we can know they’re there. Real fucking lions!”

“Jesus,” Jen laughed. “Your parents really know how to throw a party.”

“Yeah, turns out we might need them. Mike’s brought a girl. She’s disgustingly beautiful and nice. Must be pretty stupid to end up with my brother though.”

Jen floored her champagne to buy herself some time and courage. Mike. Lauren’s older brother. Jen’s first love. She remembered the secret meet-ups. Mike, collecting her from school in a car worth more than her family home. Mike, bringing her for weekends away to continents her parents had never even visited. Mike, tearing off her clothes then tearing down her world. Mike, slapping her so hard she’d black out. Mike, keeping her a secret the entire time. And getting away with every single brutal thing he did to her, because she was a stupid child who’d lose her best friend if she ever found out. Mike, what a prick. It had been two years since she had aged out of his interest. Two years since he stood her up on the eve of her 18th birthday. 

Lauren had known that Jen had a thing for her older brother, but didn’t ever know she had a thing with him. He was ten years older and always had a taste for young women. His latest child bride claimed to be 18, but Lauren highly doubted it. 

“Let’s not feed her to the lions just yet,” Lauren finally replied, refilling their glasses with a bottle of champagne that had been left barely touched on the grass. 

“Who are we feeding to the lions?” Bambi asked behind them. She had a way of arriving unnoticed, sidling up, spitting venom in your ear, and slithering away. 

“Mike’s new highschooler. Thought we’d spare her a worse fate,” Lauren quipped before waving at a distant friend and scurrying away. She had a way of ducking out of her mother’s aim before being emotionally maimed. 

Bambi turned on Jen. “You know, I always thought you and Mike would end up together. I’m not sure his new conquest is going to be sticking around for long, given the wailing coming from his room a few minutes ago. I guess you both grew up too quickly for his tastes.”

“He’s like a brother to me, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Does that make me a mother to you then?”

“No, a sister of course,” Jen replied nervously, hoping the ironic flattery would soften the predictable tear down. 

“No, not sisters either. I’ve known you since you were ten years old. Besides, we’re nothing alike.”

“Of course. I’d better rescue Lauren from whoever got his claws into her”.

“You know, she’s always been jealous of you. Lauren. She’s always been envious of you. I’ve always found it fascinating.”

“Jealous of me? I highly doubt that Bambi.”

“I suppose it was inevitable. You’ve always been so… confident, despite, you know, your…circumstances. Your God-given…circumstances.”

Here it was. The tear down. Bambi simply couldn’t fathom a woman looking like me and being confident, content, happy in her own skin. These circumstances she spoke of were her looks, her weight, her outward appearance. 

“Thanks Bambi. I’d better find the birthday girl.”

“I think that’s why Mike had a thing for you. He’s never been able to bear confident women. Of course, you weren’t very confident by the time he was done with you. Poor dear.” 

A sudden roar from one of the distant lions startled them both. 

“Oh, it’s thrilling, isn’t it? Two wild beasts in our backyard. What is it with humans being so attracted to danger?” Bambi gushed, her cheeks flush with excitement. 

“I can’t say I feel that particular attraction, Bambi. They scare the shit out of me if I’m honest.”

“Oh, don’t you worry. I’m the only one with a key to their enclosure. I wouldn’t trust my beloved husband after a few shandies not to decide to amp this party up by releasing those beautiful beasts. Although, that would be something, wouldn’t it?”

And with that, she strolled away, a plume of smoke silhouetting her miniscule frame. 

Jen headed straight for the bathroom, her head swirling. Bambi had known about her and Mike? And allowed him to get away with it? And kept it from Lauren? Of course she did. Having something to lord over her daughter’s bewilderingly confident friend must have been a delicious treat for her. But why bring it up now, two years later? And what did she mean when she said she heard wailing coming for Mike’s room?

There was a queue for the downstairs bathroom so Jen made use of her intimate knowledge of the mansion and headed for one of the bathrooms upstairs. The first two were occupied, the tell-tale snorting followed by giggling implied they wouldn’t be free anytime soon. She headed for Lauren’s ensuite and, passing Mike’s old bedroom, heard a whimpering voice. A woman's voice. A girl’s. Jen stepped towards the crack in the door and pushed it slightly more ajar until she could see the back of a blonde girl hunched over her phone. She was texting frantically, then seemed to make another call.

“Dad. It’s me again. Please call me back. I need you to come get me. Please dad. I’m sorry.” She hung up, tapped on her phone again and held it to her ear.

“Sam, why aren’t you answering? I need your help. He… he did it again. Please, I need someone to come get me.”

She threw her phone behind her and stood up, revealing a small red stain below her bottom on her white toga. She walked tentatively towards a suitcase on the floor and seemed to pick something out. 

Jen was shaking. Thoughts hammering inside her head like a cloche in a bell. “He did it again”? The blood. The walk. She got her period, that’s all. She got her period. “He did it again?”. Oh God. Mike, you fucking monster. 

Suddenly a deep, throbbing, guttural groan seemed to emanate from the earth itself. The lions. It wasn’t a roar. No, it was something else. A snarl that resonated through the ground, up the stairs, and right up Jen’s body. This primal threat, this threat that for generation after generation, humans learned to fear snapped up out of her stupor and she made her way quietly to Lauren’s bathroom. 

After washing her hands and fixing her makeup she returned to Lauren’s room, sat on the edge of the plush bed and looked around, trying to steady herself. The lions were quiet now, but her mind remained panicked. She could hear the party downstairs thumping like a rabbit's foot. The blonde girl’s words rang again in her head. “He did it again.” She lay down and closed her eyes, a memory battering its way to the front of her mind. 

Mike, four years ago, holding her wrists down on this very bed. Hissing words at her she could barely fathom. “What do you think? I’m going to rape you? Jesus, look at you. Look at yourself. You think I can’t do better than this? Just shut up and enjoy it.” She tried to shake the memory away but it continued. His grunts, his snarls, his utter disdain as he sweatily finished inside her. Her revulsion at herself. Not at her body. She never blamed herself for what he did. It was her revulsion for her need to make him like her, love her. Her revulsion that she kept trying, kept going back, for two more years. Her revulsion that she thought she could rewrite their ugly past by creating a beautiful future. 

She must have passed out because she was jolted to life by another abyssal rumble from the lions. Different from the last time. Snarls. She heard the party quieten, she heard people running to the distance, to the lions. And she heard screams piercing the hedonistic air like a deflating balloon. 

She ran to the hallway and froze when she came face to face with the blonde woman. Girl. Definitely a girl. The screams continued outside but the two strangers stood frozen, eyes locked as tight as a secret. The waifish girl was in jeans and a hoodie. She wasn’t panicked. She was resigned, stupefied. She was tired. Sore. Frightened, but accepting. 

“You need to leave.” Jen stated. “You need to go home.”

“I can’t. I don’t have any money.”

The screams outside intensified. Something awful had happened. 

“What did you do?” Jen asked breathlessly. “What have you done?”

“Nothing. I did absolutely nothing,” the girl whispered. 

Jen took out her phone and opened her Uber app, asked for the girl’s address and clicked to pay the gargantuan fee. 

“Go out the back, wait by the entry house. A black Sedan will be here in five minutes.”

The girl tried to run, but her aching groin allowed her only a brisk totter. She didn’t look back. She never, ever looked back.

Jen ran down the stairs, her gauzy dress catching gently on the tiny splinters on the bare wood stairs. Little ladders were forming at the hem. The seams were opening at the sides. The dress didn’t have the strength for a night like this, but the woman wearing it did. She followed the screams and cries towards the lion enclosure. Sweat dripped down her spine, her matted hair tangling around her beaded crown. 

She heard Lauren before she saw her. Her endless, deep groan thickened the air. And there she was, blood stained and manic, crouched on the ground with two young men attempting to keep her away from the cage. Her groan only intensified when she saw Jen. 

“He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead,” she howled.

“Who’s dead Lauren? What’s happened?”

People were rushing around, consoling themselves and each other like zombies bereft of flesh. 

“Mike’s dead. Mike’s dead.” And she lay on the ground supine and roared at the heavens. 

Jen checked her phone. The Uber had left with its young passenger. Relief and guilt. What had she done? What had they done? 

Bambi appeared at Jen’s side, looking down at her daughter. 

“She’s always had a touch of the theatrics. I thought she’d be an actress. Too much work for her of course,” she hissed. 

“Bambi. What happened to Mike?” Jen was shivering, the sweat icing on her skin. 

“You know, she was right to envy you. What you have, she’ll never have. All these years primping herself into oblivion, working desperately to be the most beautiful woman in the room. Do you remember what you said to her when you saw her new nose all those years ago? ‘Gilding the lily.’ That’s what you said. You were always so happy for her to be beautiful. And that’s exactly what she envies, what we all envy. What she wants, what we all want, you have. The ability to look into a mirror and be happy, content. She doesn’t want to be the most beautiful person in the room. She wants to be happy, and she thinks being beautiful will get her there. And there you are, right beside her. Happy. Just…happy. Nothing can buy that. We’ve all tried. Nothing can buy what you have. I know I’m not your mother. But I will do whatever it takes to protect that part of you.”

“Bambi, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jen pleaded, tears rolling down her cheek. “What happened to Mike?

“The stupid fool went into the lion’s enclosure. He probably thought he could tame them. Just like his father, that one. In so, so, so many ways. We’ll have to postpone the party I’m afraid. And we’ll have a busy few weeks ahead. Oh, is there anything more dreary than shopping for funeral attire? We’ll have to chose music and all sorts of nonsense. It makes you wonder who it’s all for at the end of the day.”

“How did Mike get in, Bambi?”

“Mike has always had a way of getting in places he shouldn’t be, hasn’t he? I guess this time he wasn’t the cause of the carnage. For once.”

“Bambi, how did Mike get into the enclosure? You’re the only one with a key.”

“I wish someone had protected my happiness Jennifer. But I’ll do whatever it takes to protect yours.” she muttered absently as she stared blankly at her whimpering daughter. And she turned on her heels, slowly walking towards the house.