BLACK

BLACK

The morning alarm loudly rang to begin this gloomy day,

but in this warm bed I really wanted to stay!

The weather outside had snow ‘up in’ the sky,

and in this warm bed, I just really wanted to lie!

I felt okay, despite my fatigue, and I arose to have a shower,

and I had plenty of time before work, because I arose in the 7th hour!

Before I showered I required a shave, and I ran water into the sink,

and this was our first home, and ‘for now’ the basin was bright pink!

But, standing was difficult now and my legs began to shake,

and I thought I was going to die, because it was hard to stay awake!

I carefully lay on the floor, before I collapsed in a heap instead,

and my eyes seemed very wet, ‘as they’ were glistening with pools of red!

I cried for help, but would anybody hear my desperate shout,

was my Fiancée still at home, or had she just gone out?

She was thankfully still at home, and I could be saved I thought,

and during this sudden emergency, she didn’t have any support!

I would soon be in an ambulance, and as I left I witnessed the grey,

from the sky above that looked ready to offload its white snow on us today!

Inside the ambulance I saw lots of different coloured lights,

there were blues and reds, and many different shades of whites!

The ambulance man stood over me, as the vehicle began to move,

and to the hospital we headed, where I would hopefully improve?

His uniform was green, and the driver wore a white shirt,

“Stay awake”, said the attendant, “it’s important that you try to stay

alert”!

I arrived in the hospital, where I was immediately seen,

by two nurses dressed in blue, and a Doctor dressed in white, that completed my medical team;

My clothes were cut off of me, and I felt vulnerable and I felt cold.

and this mystery, which concerned my head, would hopefully be solved?

I was ‘no longer’ alert, and closing my eyes seemed okay,

but would I survive to witness another cold and Wintry Day?

I was rushed outside, where a helicopter could be heard,

and it flew to a bigger County, much faster than any bird!

The operation was completed, but would I last this worrying night,

‘I was in a very precarious position’, but hopefully I might?

But, I was no longer in control, and I pleaded for my life,

“I wanted to become a husband, with my Fiancée becoming my wife”!

I eventually survived the deep black coma that I was sadly in,

but I lost my previous abilities, and different therapies would soon begin!

I had Occupational Therapy, Physiotherapy, Speech Therapy and many more besides,

and I dreaded going to bed each night, to try to close my eyes!

Because I always feared death, and I saw many other patients quickly ’come and go’,

but were they rising to the white, or sinking to the black below?

I went to different hospitals, and the fourth one I remember well,

and I eventually returned to my home, after an 11 month

‘spell’!

But I wasn’t finished yet, and a physiotherapy unit would soon be found,

and I went for one whole day a week, which seemed like a holy ground-

Because the unit was run by Nuns, and I valued each time I was there,

and I eventually regained my strength, and I thankfully regained my hair!

The abilities to read and write were, fortunately, regained

but I couldn’t speak or swallow, and the nutrient injections remained!

I couldn’t walk unaided, and I really tried my best,

and eating and talking would also be, another desperate test!

There’s some light at the end of the tunnel, but will it be blue

or will it be white……..

‘Well, I’m still in a wheelchair, but I married my Fiancee, and we had a Son, and we are alright”!

Many years have gone by, and my wife and Son are still here,

They are much-loved and appreciated, and I want that to be clear!

I’ve seen many colours in my life, because I was an artist who liked to paint,

but am I famous for what I do, “NO, that I sadly ain’t”!

To anyone, who talks to a person in a coma, then don’t ever think that you’re wasting your time, because it depends on how deep they are actually in their coma, before you may get a little response! My comatose state may have seemed final, because I had never known a blackness like it! ‘It was so so dark, and it was eerily lonely and occasionally quite frightening, but I would eventually hear some comforting sound, before I could feel anything or move!

The thick blackness would gradually turn grey, and then you might actually open your eyes?

I suppose it depends on the extent of the brain injury, to try to gauge what you can do afterwards! They obviously gave my mum the ‘worst case scenario’, because they said that I would never sit up again, I would never eat or talk, “well, they were right by saying that I would not be able to walk”!

The proximity of the bleed(‘very near to my central column’), would seriously upset my balance, but I managed to walk using many different walking frames, and I can sometimes walk with crutches, and so, the surgeons or doctors give you the ‘worst case scenario’, BUT they don’t know the person’s personality or their determination!

I was almost 24 years old, and fortunately my Fiancée stayed by my side, and aided my long recovery. We’ve been together for almost 33 years now!

She has actually seen me turn many different colours, AND

“She’s seen me looking pink, and she’s seen me looking white,

she’s seen me looking yellow, and checked to see that I’m alright”?

“She’s seen me looking green, when I’ve had too much to drink,

and she’s seen me looking yellow when I’m standing at the sink”!

“But today she saw another colour, and it was a ‘deathly grey’-

so would I ever return from the hospital, perhaps tomorrow or on ‘some other day”?

“Your situation may look grim, and your prognosis might seem bad,

but defy those words with determination, and think positively - ‘not sad’!