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Friendship Sad

I had many friends over the course of my life but the only one that stuck with me the whole time was a old cranky tree in the park.

Dirt covers my shoes, turning them brown. My Mum would've kill me if I would've done that, I thought smiling.

Little white and purble flowers spread across the grass, spring is coming. Funny thing, the seasons. The plants and animals are born, live and go sleep just because...yeah, why?

I should've make my school work, but what's the point, honestly? In twenty, maybe fifty years they'll change again what I learned so that it's useless again.

My dearest friend grows bright green leaves under them I hid.

"Hey you", I say, shake on of its branches. "Everything good?"

I take my jacket, using it as a blanket so I could sit against it. Its rind smell a bit, but that is okay.

You stay with your friend, even when they smell a bit.

"I feel alive right now. That is life, bro. Real raw human life."

I know it can't ask these things, but I'll answer them anyway. Would be a bit crazy to just sit there, listing to me weird thoughts.

"I have it good right now", I said. "Sandra makes Pizza later. She's the best Host Mom so far."

I take a fallen twig, ripping it apart.

"I told you about Amanda Landon, right? The girl from my English class. Yeah, I guess she likes me. Some fellers told me."

Wind hit me and messes with my hair.

"Fuck you", I said to no one particular.

A sixtey something couple walked by and gossiped directly, maybe thinking it was about them. For them, I'm probably just some crazy brown boy, a useless criminal, a maniac.

Would they just know that I'm older than both of them.

"I hope she can deal with rejection", I said to my dearest friend. My cheeks blushed. "I told you, no relationships anymore."

My fingernails were already bitten, also one of my habits my mother would me kill for. Same goes for my long hair (it just covers my ears, but she would still cut it), my clothes and the absolute worst, my earrings.

"I would've been absolutely disowned"

A laughter leave my mouth. To be fair, my parents wouldn't have anything to pass on.

"What do you think, would they think of me?", I ask. "Would they be like: 'Abad, you're a disappointment for this family. When I was your age, I didn't hang around school and did nothing. I already provided food for my eight hundered children. Where is your wife? Your job? Your children? You're an adult, you should act like one. "

I bit my nail. The sky above me rumble, makes sounds I don't like. I enhaled the cold air.

"Or do you think like...like they would say: 'We're so glad you made it to America, dear. At least anyone of our family outlived the accident and has a good life now. And you're immortal to top that, you're gifted with a blessing. We love your so much, Abad."

My voice tremble while speaking. I swallow my spit and stop my eyes from crying.

"Grow up, idiot. You said that, it wasn't your parents. They can't say anything, they're fucking dead."

I throw the twig away. Maybe the old couple was right. I'm completely crazy.

My lungs breath heavily, my face turn red.

"Sorry", I mumble, clapping my friend's tree trunk. "It isn't your fault and normaly I wouldn't even say a thing but...I wasn't completely honest with you, okay? Today happened a lot of shit things, but you gotta promise me that you won't tell anyone, right?"

I clapped myself in the face. What a idiot I am. My best friend is a tree, it can't talk.

Nonterless I'm nervous. I bit my nail again and took a deep breath.

"Today is the anniversary. Of their...you know, the day..."

The day.

The accident.

The change.

My hands began to get sweaty and my eyes fill with tears.

"Fuck man", I said. I don't care what the people say, I don't care what's 'manly'. The whole world should fuck off.

Immortality is a great opportunity. It's a big journey, a adventure. You can see lots of things you wouldn't see otherwise.

I embraced my dearest friend, the only one who even knows the slightest what it's like to be like me. To see people born and live and die and change but you get only the half. You was born and you live.

But you can't die.

You can't change.

"I know it's a long time ago", I explain myself even if no one insulted me in the first place. "I know I should've get over myself but I-I can't."

I heavily breathed. I feel alive. I am alive.

"You're the only person I can tell something like this", I continued. Rain drops fell down their way to earth. "Most days I can just live with the fact that my whole fucking family died nearly a hundered years ago, but sometimes..."

I breathed heavily, my friend smell made me sneeze. "Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's fucking hard."

Its benches bended in the way, it felt like a hug.

"Thank you, bro", I said, dropping tears like rain drops. Fuck toxic masculinity, that's so 19th century.

A thunder cried and I might see a lighting far away. Shit.

"Gotta go, otherwise Sandra's going to act like my Mum. Visit you tomorrow, dearest friend."

I picked up my jacket and started running without looking back. Rain dropped upon me like a meteor shower and the little white and purple flowers have their first challenge ever.

Life is hard and it's even harder to feel alive.

My white sneakers weren't white anymore, but that's fine. A positive feeling is important, especially when you have to live for a while.

And everyday, whether it's raining, it's snowing or worse, I would visit my dearest friend, the one that stayed the whole time.

March 26, 2023 20:46

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