SHE DARED TO

‘You can do nothing without me. You will lose if you dare. I am the reason you have a roof above your head. If you say one more word you will have nothing to eat for the next couple of days.’

Madison had either heard these words or saw them in action throughout her twenty-five year marriage to Tony.

She was a firm believer of love, of love and friendship. He was a go-getter and if she couldn’t satisfy him, he was gonna get satisfaction elsewhere.

Madison was his maid, his cook, his nurse, his caretaker. Everything a man ever wanted and more. Tony on the other hand thought she was born to do these things for him. She had sleepless nights with her pillow soaked in tears just wishing he could love her as much as she did him.

With all she did for him, Tony claimed children, or in the case of he and Madison, the lack of children was the problem and, in his words, ‘”it is your fault Madison.” He claimed his parents had eight kids and this was proof that he was fertile. He never agreed to Madison’s request for both of them to see a specialist. He was hard-hearted and a firm believer of himself and his abilities.

“Madison you need to leave him.” Said Dolly. “He appreciates nothing you do. I know he don’t hit you but ain’t you hit in the heart?” Madison replied, “he is my husband.” “Then he needs to act like one Madison.” Dolly retorted. “You don’t look like the Madison I used to know, so full of life and smiles. You have wrinkled so fast; your smiles are gone.” Please Madison, Dolly said in a calm voice, “I don’t wanna lose you to soon. You have become a shadow of yourself.” “Dolly he is my husband,” Madison repeated.

Madison would not admit how hurt she felt to anyone as she tried to protect the love of her life. When Dolly was gone, Madison went in the shower to wash her sorrows away. As the water trickled down her face, it was like a huge competition between the water and her tears. She could not say what she did to deserve such treatment. How did I marry such a man? She thought.

As she showered, she reflected on how he cheated on her with a younger girl six years back. She felt a sharp pain in her chest like the jab of a spear on her heart. He married this girl while still married to her. For the most part, Madison was always home alone. She cursed underneath her breath; the African culture that made it possible for Tony to get married to another girl without legal consequences.

Yet she felt too weak to leave. She had promised herself to get married to only one man and stick with him through thick and thin. She had envisioned a happy ending with Tony in the picture. She did not want to be alone. Another voice in her head said “but you are alone Madison.” Her tears turned to wailing. It was as if she had lost someone. Then she remembered when an old friend said to her three years into her marriage to Tony, “Madison you have lost yourself to a man that cares less about you or anything related to you.” In typical Madison fashion she defended him saying, “he is only going through a hard time getting used to this marriage thing. I am sure he would come around.” Twenty-five years, and Tony was still around the corner.

She stepped out of the shower with her eyes as red as crimson. Every step she took was like lifting five kilograms of weight off the ground. She could not make it to her bed as she slumped on the only chair in the room not minding the pile of used clothes on it.

When Tony and his younger wife got divorced because she wanted money and Tony had none, Madison was relieved. She had hoped Tony would have a rethink and live up to the “happily ever after” they had promised one another but Tony was not done.

Madison’s biggest crime still being that Tony wanted kids and they could have none together.

One day in the heat of an argument, Tony said to her, “Woman I have found someone I would like to get married to and we are moving fast.” She felt numb. “You can’t do that again Tony.” She cried. “You don’t have a choice Madison. I am after my happiness.” “What have I ever done to get such ill treatment from you Tony? I have dedicated my life to you and yet I get nothing in return.” Madison yelled.

“Madison I married before and I will marry again. You have no one to go to and you know that. If you get me upset, I will leave you for good.” Tony was as remorseless as no one Madison ever knew.

Her heart burned, there was not a single tear in her eyes. At some point she could hear his voice, but nothing he said. She felt like her heart skipped 10 beats. The next thing she knew Tony slammed the door on his way out and she came to.

She felt an unusual strength from within. She called nobody for advice. She cried to nobody. She packed all her belongings including the documents to the house she and Tony shared. She told no one where she went. When Tony came home, he was perplexed by Madison’s unpredictable actions. His Jaw dropped. How could Madison have dared? She needed him so much that she couldn’t leave or so he thought.

Five days later, Tony saw the house he and Madison shared up for sale in the daily Newspaper. Madison was the sole signatory to the house. He was livid.

“I hope you find you a baby making machine Tony. I feel free from your dreadful grip.”

These were the words on the note he found on his doorstep on the 6^th day.

“The breath of fresh air that I denied myself for many years. I can now feel!”

The front page of her new blog.