4 comments

Contemporary Fiction

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

  Hey, big guy, thanks for the drink yesterday. Sorry to hear about your wife. She’ll probably get better soon. She’s looks better in your wallet photo, than the one on your desk.

   Listen, I don’t know if you saw, or if you know, but I saw Jon Sweet there at that Carly’s Cafe. When we came in. He was putting on his coat. He was wobbling. I’m pretty sure he’s a drinker. I’ve heard that around, too.

  Betty Peak :)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, tall boy, you looked a little down coming in this morning. I understand. I spoke to a few others and it sounds like your wife is having a rougher time then you let on. You really are a hero for sticking by her.

   Drop by my desk. I’ll have some news about Sita in accounting. I think she’s about to start a war about the clean desk policy. Well, she was talking to someone I won’t name, but it’s pretty reliable intel.

   Betty Peak :)

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: CLEAN DESK POLICY. Employees are required to maintain a clean desk free of litter or debris, offensive materials. Desks are review regularly on an individual basis, or in response to a formal complaint. Please review the Clean Desk Policy. Any questions, comments, or suggestions please forward to this office as per our Open Door Policy. Line Answers Communication is committed to a safe and inclusive work environment.  

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication 

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, boss, thanks again for that drink the other day. That was a nice place. We should do it again.

   You know some people around here are a little unkind when it comes to your wife. Nothing out loud. Nothing you could say is against policy, but… anyway I think you’re a saint.

   I think if it was me, I would expect you to… well, I’ll just leave that… respecting your privacy… you’re a good man. I’m a fan of yours.

  Oh, and I don’t know if you know… but I heard Zivan and Moody have started a football pool. That shouldn’t be allowed. I know it’s not a policy we always enforce, but once they get it going, all the talk around here is going to go from doing their work to... that stuff, all day. I’m just saying.

  Betty Peak :)

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: GAMBLING on premises is NOT PERMITTED. Please review the Workplace Conduct and You Policy. Line Answers Communication supports a healthy work environment.  

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication 

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, when are we going for that drink again?

   Betty Peak ;)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, I’m not bugging you about the drink. I already put that out there. I’m just wondering when you’re going to drop by my desk again?

   Betty Peak ;)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, big guy, I left you a phone message. I have heard something about the Western Regional Manager. I think you’ll want to hear it. And I’d like to see you.

   Betty Peak :-o

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Please return my call. When you have a chance. Beginning to miss you.

   Betty Peak :|

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey, you’re not answering me. What’s up?

   Okay, Jenn in Reception heard that you might think I’m a bit forward at times. She doesn’t know where she heard that… you know how these things get started. Anyway, I am forward. Sometimes.

   Drop by my desk.

  Betty Peak ;)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   How about I drop by your desk? It’s bigger.

   Betty Peak ;)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Testing, testing. One. Two. Three.

   Hello? Come on, give me a call, big guy.

   Betty Peak o:)

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Iz, what are you doing? I’m just saying hi. You don’t have to get all shy.

   Betty Peak :-\

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hello?! I waved at you in the hall. I can’t believe you didn’t wave back. Are you hiding from me? I know you had people with you, but you could have waved back. It’s only a wave.

Betty Peak :-\

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Okay, Iz, I don’t understand. I thought we had a good relationship? You invited me for a drink. YOU INVITED ME. It was all nice, and then you turned into a little boy and started showing me a picture of your wife. Your wife this. Your wife that. And then you tell me she’s sick. I know what you’re doing. I know why you told me. I wasn’t going to jump you, or anything. What the problem?

   Betty Peak :(

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: As part of our Training for Future Opportunities, training sessions will be made available for MANAGING CLIENT EXPECTATIONS FOR BETTER SERVICE. Dates and times to be posted. Please reply so we can get an estimate of the number of employees interested in this training. The training will be provided by Upside Employee Motivation Inc. Line Answers Communication is committed to workplace enhancement and service excellence.  

 To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

    Ha… Ha… Very funny. Would you just call me? Stop playing games.

   Izak, you need me. I give you good advice on what happening on the floor level to help you make decisions for the job you do. You need me. People tell me, they know we’re a good team. You need me. And you know what? I’m beginning to think that you need me more than just a work relationship. And I’ve heard from other people who work here that that is why you asked me for a drink. Everyone knows this. Everybody. And I think you know it now, too, and that’s what scares you.

   Talk to me and tell me what’s going on?

   Betty Peak <3

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: The workplace email is only to be used internally for the business of Line Answers Communication, and externally for contact with clients and third-party contractors. Minor personal correspondence is permitted among employees, but use is limited to personal time.

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: The EMPLOYEE COMPLAINT PROCESS is available when an employee feels all other forms of recourse have been exhausted. While it is our goal to always resolve issues at their earliest stage, this is not always possible. To this end the EMPLOYEE COMPLAINT PROCESS is available.

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: WORK and LIFE BALANCE Seminars available the third Thursday of every Month in the Fourth Floor Cafeteria. Seminars vary from career advancement, night school programs, to fitness and spiritual awareness. Line Answers Communication is committed to the Wellbeing of its employees.

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Why are you sending out all this stuff? Why are you sending me this? This is very unprofessional of you. Are you a coward? I see what you’re doing. Can we just meet?

   Betty Peak :(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Hey! Your office just turned me away! Who’s in charge of your desk? They told me if I had any business with you, I was to run it by my manager first.

   I don’t need to ‘discuss my concerns with my immediate supervisor’! What are you doing? Look, drop by, or I’ll drop by, and we can clear this up. You’re a making bigger deal out of it than me.

   And…. here is what you’re not hearing by not talking to me. Janet and Iman are planning to quit over this new software programming. Are you listening now? They say it will backlog record archiving for the next six month. And people are saying Marjorie in Clerical is pregnant. So, you can forget about hosting any decent work socials for the next year.

  Talk to me.

   Betty Peak :(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   You are so immature.

   Betty Peak (-x

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

    I don’t understand this! We have something. What’s going on in your head? Would you talk to me?! I mean, at least hit reply. Type anything!!!

   Betty Peak X-(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Okay, I bet you think it’s all in my head? I made it all up? The sparks? The chemistry? You invited me for a drink, remember? Remember?! I don’t think this is fair.

   Betty Peak X-(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   YOU’RE A CHILD!!

   Betty Peak X-( X-( X-(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Izak, you owe me an explanation. Please, stop by my desk. We can go use one of the meeting rooms. Though I think, for something this personal, we should be going somewhere offsite. For a coffee, or a walk, to clear the air. Carly’s Café was good. I think that is where things changed for us. I think that would be the best place. Izak, that is the mature way to dealing with our feelings.

   Betty Peak :|

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: The WORKPLACE WELLNESS HOTLINE is for those who need advice or assistance with health-related matters. Line Answers Communication is committed to maintaining a healthy workplace. Line Answers Communication is a proud supporter of Wellness Initiatives and Mental Health Awareness.

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Why did you send me this to me!! WHY DID YOU SEND THIS TO ME!! Why don’t you talk to me?!!

   Betty Parks X-( X-( X-(

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

SECURITY CONCERN: There is a reported incident of a vandalism in the lower parking garage yesterday, security is following up at this time. It is believed to be an isolated incident.

REMINDER: Please review safety procedures for those who have access to the underground parking. While they are surveillance cameras in place in all employee parking areas, employees also have to a responsibility to follow safety protocols. Line Answers Communication is committed to maintaining a safe work environment.  

Office of Chief Operating Officer of Line Answers Communication

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Alright, I just talked to Jessica in Admin, and I’m telling to your face, I DID NOT KEY YOUR CAR! DO YOU HEAR ME?! TO YOUR FACE, WHICH YOU WON’T EVEN FACE ME WITH!!!

   You’re a child.

   Betty Peak :(

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   Why won’t you talk to me? You’re a jerk. You’re a suit. That’s what you are. YOU ARE A SUIT!!

   Betty Peak :-(

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: All employees are required to review and signoff on understanding and committing to the HARASSMENT POLICY annually. Line Answers Communication is committed to having a harassment free workplace.  

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   STICK IT IN YOUR PIPE AND CHOKE ON IT!!!

  Betty Peak :poop:

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

REMINDER: All employees are required to attend DESCALATING CONFLICT IN THE WORKPLACE Seminars. The seminars will be presented by Gar Employee Solutions. Please book your session ASAP. These Seminars are MANDATORY. Line Answers Communication is committed to workplace wellbeing and conflict resolution.  

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   :poop: :poop: :poop:

  Betty Peak :poop:

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

STAFFING UPDATES: VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE POLICY. Violence in the workplace will not be tolerated. A reminder that Line Answers Communication has a zero-tolerance policy where it concerns violence in the workplace. Violation of this policy can result in disciplinary actions including suspension and/or termination of employment as well as criminal charges.

To: < Izak Brian, COO - Line Answers Communication>

   I did NOT assault you! You are such a baby. An Incident Report?! REALLY?! Get over yourself! I was trying to get your attention before you got on the elevator. Why don’t you go home to your wife, she can put you in a diaper!!

   I DON’T APPRECIATE HAVING SECURITY HERE WHILE I PACK MY PERSONAL THINGS. COWARD! COWARD!!!

   (You could have done this without calling security. But you’re a little creep. You’re not tall at all. You’re only doing it this way to embarrass me in front of my co-workers.)

   DO YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PEOPLE’S PRIVACY!!!

   Loser

   Betty Peak eat :poop: and (x_x;)!  

To: < all staff - Line Answers Communication>

STAFFING UPDATES: Jon Sweet, Vice President, will be leaving us to enjoy early retirement. We wish Jon the very best and thank him for all his dedicated years of service. Marjorie Taylor of Clerical will be absent for an extended time beginning April. Competition for an Acting Clerical Manger to be posted soon. Betty Peak is on indefinite leave. We welcome Debbie Sloan to our Human Resource Department in Betty Peak’s place.

REMINDER: Confidentiality in the Workplace. All employees are expected to review and know the Confidentiality Policy. Line Answers Communication is committed to mutual respect in the workplace and an individual’s right to privacy.  

May 30, 2023 21:50

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4 comments

Leah Haberman
11:46 Jun 04, 2023

I always love a story structured in message format. It's hard to move things along without it seeming unnatural or not authentic to how people actually text/use email. You did a really great job with this! Really enjoyed reading it.

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David B Fraser
23:37 Jun 03, 2023

Thank you, much appreciated.

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J. D. Lair
23:24 Jun 03, 2023

Haha this was very entertaining to read. Well done!

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Mary Bendickson
23:21 May 30, 2023

Ah...gh workplace politics.

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