A Sudden Change of Weather

Why won’t this rain let up? I can barely see the hood of my car let alone the ambulance. Baby, hold on, I’m coming!  How are they able to navigate so fast in this downpour?  They told me not to tailgate but if could just see, I’d probably beat them to the hospital.  Unbelievable! It’s as if the sky has opened up.  Baby, please hold on. This isn’t happening.  Not now. 

           Even though a decade has past, seems like only yesterday when that darn peanut-head Patrick brought you into the restaurant (chuckle). When I heard his voice, I immediately sighed.  It had been a rough day and I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with his antics but turned around anyway so that I could engage in our usual banter while attempting to get his order.  Because of the direction I turned his face was the first thing I caught glimpse of.  As usual, there he sat with a full smile and well on the road to being as annoying as ever (Laugh).  But then I saw you and everything faded into the background. I’m guessing that for the first and only time in my life I successful held a good Poker face, because neither you nor he could tell that you had just taken my breath away.  What’s more, the sight of you actually moved me to prayer. As we gazed into each other’s eyes, I was complementing The Most High. “Oooh Father, you do great work!  That has got to be the most gorgeous man you have e-e-ever created!”  Of course, you already know this because we’ve told the stories to nearly everyone we’ve met. Shucks, we’ve even retold it to each other over the years.  All-the-same… you were and are still a most magnificent sight; with that flawless, chocolate complexion, tapered salt and pepper beard, thinly trimmed mustache and that sexy strip of hair that runs from beneath your bottom lip to your beard.  Your features are impeccably symmetrical and the closest thing to perfection I have ever seen on a person.  But what captivated me most were your eyes. Those entrancing, narrow, chestnut brown eyes.  If I wasn’t in such awe of your eyelashes, I might have envied them.  They were so long and full that it gave you the appearance of wearing black eyeliner.  And the way you looked at me; it was as if you had loved me all of our lives. I even recall what you had on; imagine that. It was a white tank top, a pair of meticulously pressed white painter pants, a brown leather belt with a modest, but noticeable belt buckle, black and white snake-skin cowboy boots and red bandana which had been folded, ironed and centered in such a way upon your head that you wore it more like a cloth crown than a head rag. I asked you, in the most casual voice I could muster up, “So, Patrick’s friend, what’s your name?”, to which you replied, “Well, my friends call me Cowboy.” Your voice. Though it was befittingly masculine, I found it to be smooth and comforting like a favorite blanket on a chilly night or a hot cup of Earl Grey at sunrise. 

As time went on and we got to know each other, how wonderful it was to learn that your heart was as genuine and regal as your appearance was splendid. Can this rain get any worse!  Would you just look at this. Now the streets are nearly flooded, and I can barely see the ambulance’s lights.  Weeks now. Why won’t it stop raining, or at the least ease up just a little; and is every freaking light on this street gonna catch me?! (Heavy sigh)

           I remember how, when we were dating, we would talk on the phone for hours at night.  After a long day at the restaurant, I would get home, take a bath, hop into bed and either call you or with much anticipation await your call. You never failed me.  The phone would ring and for at least the first hour I got to talk to with you while you wrapped up the ranching part of your day.  You would be feeding up, cleaning stables, mending fences or even watching over a pregnant mare. Then the conversation would take a pause which lasted just long enough for you to shower off and jump into bed; after which you would call me back and we would then talk until one or both of us fell asleep.  I loved you so much then and with every day I have come love you more and more.  Oh no! I didn’t tell him that I loved him. In all the confusion, Baby I didn’t tell you that I love you!  Please don’t die.  Baby please don’t leave me…because if you do, I’ll be all alone.  Where in thee “H” is the hospital?  Wait. I see the red Emergency Room sign. There it is.  Okay, so where’s the Emergency Room entrance? Seriously!  I, I can’t see…Ah, there’s the ambulance.  Alright, I found you, Baby!  Hang on. (Ring)

Hello. Hey Sis. Hey Bubba.  How are you? Uhm, I’m here.  Yeah, me too. While riding along, I found myself thinking about how hard it is to believe that he’s really gone.  Gone? No. Bubba listen, I need to get…Ya know Sis, in all my life I never paid much attention to the weather; that is, not til’ recently.  Bubba, are you really talking about weather right now?  I know it sounds odd coming from me. But for years, the way I saw it was whether I liked it or not, it was gonna do what is does.  So, from an emotional point I never cared much one way or the other.  But now, I can honestly say that I sure am glad to have had clear skies and sunny days over these past few weeks; because I don’t think I would have been able to bare all of this had it remained gloomy and continued to rain like it had been. Clear skies?  Bubba… (Blinking hard and refocusing) oh my.  It is sunny out there today. 

Were you busy, Sis? I was, uhm…well I, I guess I was just staring out the window towards the stables.  Yeah, I do a lot of staring off these days myself.  I’m trying but I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s already been gone for more than a month now. More than a month.  It can't be. Bubba, seems like only minutes ago I was dredging through a torrential rain storm in the middle of the night doing everything I could to catch up with my Cowboy.  In all the hospitals we had been to, I never had such trouble getting to one like I did that night.

I know Baby.  Well, I just left a job site and was on my way home when an overwhelming urge to call you came on me… Bubba, I don’t know why, but for some reason your voice really sounds like your brother’s… so I pulled over to give you a call. I feel like I need to tell you that, we all know how close, downright inseparable, the two of you were; especially these past 3 years. You weren’t just husband and wife, but clearly, the best of friends. Now that he’s gone you probably feel like you’re all alone; but don’t worry Babe, you’re never alone.  And no matter what, always remember how much he loved you; and know that he knew just how much you loved him. (Gasp) [Silence].

           [After a couple minutes of failed attempts to wipe away the streams of tears]: (Sniff) Well Bubba, so much for the clear skies.  It just got pretty cloudy over here.  Bubba? Are you still there?  (Sniff and then clearing of throat) Uh, yeah Sis.  I’m still here.  I was fixated on how cloudy it has suddenly become on this side of town as well.  Better get off the phone before the rain hits…cause it’s coming.

           Yes it is, Bubba, Like a flood.  Okay then; love you. Love you too Sis. (Click)