The Musings of Mr. Carrow

Day 12

It’s been several days now since I was separated from Paul and Mary. I still can’t shake the chill in my boots from the rain of that night. I’m just grateful I still have Pachu to keep me company. Despite my isolation I’ve found great comfort in the beauty of this land. The flora and fauna appear untouched, their beautiful hues of blues, purples, yellows, and colors that I couldn’t dream of describing. The animals here are mostly docile and roam in abundance. I have fear of hunting them for not wanting to disrupt this glorious ecosystem. I wince with each cut I must make through the vines to proceed. We are the first ones here, yet I do not truly know what I hope to gain from this journey. New findings to document and bring back? Establishing a home here to enjoy this land's splendid views? Or perhaps the reason I am here is simply to escape, and reflect inwards on the makings of myself. Regardless, I know that this will be a fruitful journey. I do hope I am able to find Paul and Mary again, I’ve lost their tracks, but they can’t have gotten too far. Perhaps Pachu will have better luck tracking them than I.

Day 25

Pachu has been extraordinary at helping me acquire food, granted her jaunts to do so can be quite extended at times. She tends to bring back a bird and some fruit when she does. Somehow she always seems to locate these delicious berries of varying colors. Their blues and pinks would make me think they were poisonous if I had less trust in Pachu. I’ll never forget the day Paul, Mary, and I came across her. We found her quite quickly after moving from the beach into the jungle. She seemed utterly careless too or presence, welcoming us if anything, perhaps due to her lack of interactions with humankind. Her beautiful print resembling that of a jaguar, but with beautiful swirls of red interlaced blended with the flowers in which she prowled. Upon close inspection I realized her face appeared closer to that of a panther. She followed us for some time before approaching camp with offerings of food, and even guidance at times, leading us to water when our skins had run low. She comes and goes as she pleases, but seems to have had no better luck locating Paul and Mary than I. Or perhaps she has abandoned them entirely in favor of my company?

Day 37

Pachu led me to a river which we followed South for sometime when we were set upon river serpents! Their green coils wrapped endlessly around as their brass fangs lunged at me. Pachu fled to a safe distance, but they restrained me, locking me in place as they unleashed a deluge of water from their mouths. Their spit was as cold as ice and chilled me to the bone. I was able to kick one in the side, causing a kink in its armor, slowing the seemingly endless flow of water, but it quickly corrected and tightened its grip. After thoroughly drenching me, they dropped me from their grasp, leaving me to fall helpless to the ground. Luckily Pachu returned from the shadows and dragged me away by my collar as I lie there in a strange state of delirium. I slowly made my recovery as Pachu fetched me more of those peculiar berries. She has been bringing them back regularly now with the other meals she is able to procure for me.

Day 52

The undergrowth has begun to grow thicker. I think I am being stalked by a beast of some sort. Ever since my encounter with the serpents the animals have seemed decidedly more aggressive and dangerous. These fears prompted me to continue my trek through the night in the hope of reaching safer lands once more further in the untouched heart of the jungle. As I proceeded through the night I heard branches snapping behind me with every step I took. Their gradual approach began to frighten me to my core and out of a sense of survival I began sprinting despite my poor vision in the night. I expectedly tripped and found myself entangled in vines. As I began to free myself of them I felt them tighten around me. Amidst the bramble were vipers which had begun to restrain me. They pulled my arms tight around my back, forcing me to my knees. I struggled and screamed in vain when eventually one of them pierced my neck, sinking its venom deep into my veins. I awoke in a small field. I know not what happened while I was unconscious. Perhaps Pachu saved me. Regardless, I hope to avoid them again if at all possible.

Day 97

What was once an amazing opportunity has seemingly turned into dreadful slog. Pachu’s visits seem more out of a sense of obligation rather than friendship. The chirping of the birds has begun to grate on my nerves. I long for the comradery of true friendship. I miss being able to converse with anything other than my own consciousness. The loneliness is maddening. I miss Paul and Mary. I miss home. I miss civilization. Whatever purpose brought me here has clearly been lost and in its place I feel a void. My hope for connection and beauty is slipping. I can feel my thoughts slipping away from me. I have abandoned my search for anything meaningful in exchange for trying to find a way out, but I fear I am far too lost to ever reach shore. It’s as though the jungle itself is conspiring against me, aching to keep me trapped within.

Day 132

The most peculiar thing occurred today. Pachu spoke. Her voice was comforting, yet oddly familiar. I had tried to refuse the berries she brought me, but she insisted. “Mr. Carrow, these are for your own good. They help you. Trust me, you’ll feel better. You always feel better after these”. I tried to respond, but found my will wanting and gave in to her request. My memory begins to fade from that point on, but I remember her saying “I’ll see bring supper tonight Mr. Carrow. Tonight we were able to get you beef stew! Until then, sleep well Mr. Carrow. I hope you get better soon”. Whatever berries she has been feeding me have clearly been altering my senses. I need to get a better hold of myself or I will never get out of here.

Day 158

I fear Pachu is working against me, striving to keep lost in this jungle. Having lost all faith in her, I decided to set a trap. When she next brought my berries I graciously took them from her before hitting her across the head with my other hand. The punch did little damage, but was enough for me to sprint past her into an opening ahead. More animals attempted to assault me, I jumped and dashed as fast as I could over them. I narrowly made it past a set of vipers when I tripped upon a boulder, stumbling head first into a cave. I recovered my senses as fast as I could. I was surprised to find books in the cave. Neatly stacked and organized, fitting into the cave walls as perfectly as they would have on a shelf. One in particular stood out. A note book title “Mr. Carrow”. I flipped its pages open. “Day 37: Attempted cold water pressure therapy. No improvement in symptoms. Will attempt again in one week. Other possible treatments: shock therapy, hypnosis, cranium pressure relief. Will continue to monitor symptoms”. This could not be about me. How could it? I continued to page through the journal, each page mimicking my own accounts, but with feverishly insane tales of my treatment. The vipers caught up with me. Their vice-like grip bound me, as their venom turned my vision black before my memories of the event end.

Day 207

I am trapped in this jungle. My memory fades in and out. I do not know where I am or how I truly got here. The animals frighten me. I must keep up hope. Hope is the only thing that will allow me to persevere. My hope to escape. My hope to converse once more. My hope to see Paul and Mary. I hope they did not befall a similar fate. I hope they are home safe with their families. I envision them sharing tea with family over a lovely winter feast. I must keep alert. I must keep challenging myself. I am all that I have in this maze. If I fail to keep moving, I will lose myself in its endless tangles.