Three years

 There is a girl. 

She goes to see a school theater play for the first time. The wizard of oz, simple but beautiful. 

Next school year she’s walking into those same gym doors again, but this time as an aspiring actor rather than a viewer. 

The girl meets so many amazing people. 

They perform a Halloween special. She does the face paint for wolfman. 

Later in the school year they perform a midnight summer’s dream.

The girl and Quince share an inside joke. 

At the end of the school year, they perform Charlie and the Chocolate factory. She always smiles at Wonka. 

The girl returns. She plays Maria in the 12th night and can’t stop laughing at Malvolio’s crisscrossed laces. 

She goes to an art camp where, with the help of her friends, she starts the butter wars. The girl grows close with the sole victim of the war. 

After coming home from camp, she ends the school year performing Spam-a-lot as Patsy. She laughs at all of Bevedere’s jokes. 

The girl keeps in touch with him over the summer. 

The girl starts this school year with a bang by ruining one of her friendships with a close girl-friend from art camp. She falls into despair. 

The girl spends a lot of time rage roller blading around the school. But not much time with actual friends. 

When they perform the Odyssey the girl's eyes can’t help but wander to the sound booth. To someone she hasn’t been as close with this year.  

The girl is in a better place when they start learning the script for Newsies Jr. She can’t help but stare at Davey. 

All the lead roles double cast, cast A and cast B. Her favorite is cast B. 

The girl hangs out with cast B Davey and cast A Jack. She laughs with him again. 

The girl fills pages with drawings of Davey. She’s obsessed. 

She dreams and daydreams. Cast B Davey is a common theme. 

The girl makes it her goal to be close to him. 

Unique parts of him are her favorite. 

Eyes that glow and burn their way into her mind like a sunrise. 

Messy hair that made her want to run her fingers through it. 

Pointy ears like an elf's, with a silver ring piercing each lobe. 

Delicate features and playful lips. 

It makes her lonely when the thought of him not liking her back begins to plague her mind. 

She makes a plan that could go horribly wrong. 

She flatters herself into thinking that he’s following her around at the Valentine's Day dance. 

Then she gives him a letter. 

A letter that could be the undoing of their entire friendship. 

The girl prays that she will get this one good thing in her life. She doesn’t want a repeat of what happened earlier in the school year. 

She comes to terms with the fact that she may not get it. 

The girl still hopes. 

She hopes that this boy who she’s spent the last three years admiring, 

This boy with messy hair and sunrise eyes, 

With elf ears and delicate features, 

That this boy who has played many roles in her life, 

That he will want her as much as she’s come to want him.

The girl can’t help but imagine them together.  

But knowing deep down he might not like her breaks her heart even more. 

She resists the urge to text him. 

To text him and ask if he’s read the letter yet. 

If he thinks of her often. 

If he thinks of her eyes and smile. 

If he wants to kiss her. 

The girl is desperate. 

She clings to memories of him and hopes he doesn’t think the letter’s weird. 

She hopes he didn’t read the letter to the rest of the class. 

The girl wishes on every dandelion and 11:11. 

She makes a playlist dedicated to wishing for a relationship. 

Tonight, she has a book club. 

Her past friend will be there. 

The girl doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

 She had been planning to try and talk to her a few days ago, but the girl is a chicken when it comes to talking to that friend. 

She made excuses like, ‘well she asked me for space so shouldn’t she be the one to find me?’  

And ‘She might not be here today my mom didn’t buy bread from her like she usually would.’ 

At the same time the girl knows that they might not be friends again if she doesn’t work up the courage to go and apologize. 

She does her best to banish these thoughts and think of Davey instead. 

But that brings her back to the fact that in a little less than a week her and Davey may not be friends anymore because of an all too well-timed letter. 

The girl tosses and turns all night. 

Her mind goes back and forth between him grabbing her and kissing her, and yelling at her and telling her it’s over 

She stresses over his reaction with every spare thought. 

The girl once had thoughts like these about her past friend. 

That’s what led to them not being friends. 

The girl worries that history will repeat itself. 

She prays that it won’t. 

She prays that even if he doesn’t want her like she wants him that

they will still be close friends. 

The girl tells her friends about her dilemma. 

Many of them don’t approve because of silly things, like that he has earrings. 

One of them keeps an open mind. She appreciates this. 

The girl lays on her back in bed and thinks of her life. 

So much has happened. 

Three years ago, she never would’ve guessed that she would grow close to this boy. 

Or that she’d have a falling out with one of her closest friends. 

She wonders what will happen in the next three years. 

The girl hopes that she and this boy will stay friends, and that even if it takes all three years that she’ll repair her relationship with her past friend. 

Days pass. 

Here she is again walking through these gym doors. 

The girl has no idea what waits for her on the other side. 

But she knows whatever it is whether it’s rejection or acceptance, she will survive and grow close with someone new and maybe even fix the broken relationship. 

She’s already lived through rejection once. 

What’s one more?