Colton And His Winter

Colton sat in the sunroom looking out at the snow flurries falling on the roof and on the yard around him. He was not used to the cold, in fact, it was his first winter in Peoria, IL. Colton is from Oahu, and he never felt it get colder than 59 degrees. 

The local TV broadcasts in Hawaii would show highlights of the mainland weather during the wintertime. Colton would see the kids on TV playing in the snow, building snowmen, and sliding down snow covered hills. Colton could never imagine living in such cold misery. That opinion was reinforced by movies like The Shining and Misery that left an indelible memory about winter with him during his formative years. Colton was an island boy; sand, sun, beaches, and waves.

The local TV stations also showed national commercials of restaurants that weren’t in Hawaii. Back then, the Olive Garden stirred excitement and wonder of delicious Italian food and family style dining. The commercial showed families enjoying each other’s company and making memories over pasta and breadsticks. But Colton’s hopes would remain unfulfilled. His vacations consisted of never leaving the state. Instead, going to the Big Island, Kauai, or Maui with his family when his dad had time off. 

Colton’s dad was a big Hawaiian and Portuguese man, he had a dark complexion, calloused hands, rough skin, and talked with that no bullshit gruff sensibility. His dad was a simple man, he worked at the Pearl Harbor Naval shipyard. Colton never knew exactly what his dad did there. All he knew was that his dad left early in the morning Monday through Friday at 5:00 am, wearing the same blue coveralls and carrying a tall green Stanley Thermos of hot coffee. He would then come home around 5:30 pm, with dirty coveralls, and in a foul mood; complaining about his job and his lazy coworkers and an asshole of a boss he has.  

Some days his father would come home in an angry rage and if Colton forgot to cook rice or if his sister, Emily, didn’t have the laundry washed and hung, the full force of his blue-collar strength and calloused hands would contact wherever it landed on their bodies. Other times, it was late night verbal rants and threats with an angry bellowing voice.

Colton’s dad had a big worktable which looked like it was part of a discarded piece of a ship. The table was put together with perfect welds. It took up a big part of the garage and it was used as a multipurpose table to host potluck parties or as a worktable for his various projects. But that table was mostly used by him, his shipyard buddies, their wives, and Colton’s mom as a place to hold their beer, liquor, and pupus. They would take shots of liquor, play the ukulele, talk-story, and drunkenly and carelessly sing at the midnight sky until the cops came as a courtesy visit to tell them to keep it down. 

No one in the neighborhood really minded especially since his dad was able to keep a handsome and distinct Hawaiian falsetto singing voice while drunk. Colton wondered why his dad wasn’t a singer instead of a shipyard worker. Maybe then he would be able to go to the mainland and have an Olive Garden family dinner like he saw on TV. 

Anyway, Colton can only long for the Olive Garden; he figured some big mainland restaurant would not find its way here to this small island. 

Colton has been at his new home for about a month. Five bedrooms, three baths, two story brick house in the suburbs of Peoria. It also had a big front yard, big enough to need a riding mower. The long driveway from the street began with two mature trees, tall in stature at the beginning of the driveway as if it was standing guard over the house. It was a lovely home. Colton felt it was too much house for him. 

He hadn’t met his neighbors yet aside from a courtesy wave and hello as he was moving in. He came to own this house in a unique way. He inherited it from his old Army buddy Jack.  

Jack was short for Jackson. But all his platoon buddies called him Jack and they would always have a chant that started with “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick......” followed by some trait or situation that encompasses Jack at the time. Something only brothers in arms can appreciate.

Colton and Jack had an unbreakable bond after Colton saved his life in Afghanistan.

Colton joined the Army right after high school. His prospects for college were low and he didn’t have the grades for a scholarship or the money to pay for it if he was accepted. Plus, he was tired of his family situation. His dad drank more often and was just as angry. 

Colton’s mom left the family a year prior when her husband's drinking became heavy. She didn’t leave alone, though. She was having an affair to escape her dreary existence. She found her own happiness and selfishly forgot about Colton and Emily who were now alone with their alcoholic dad.

Emily, who was cute, was impressionable, insecure, and promiscuous. She was dating an older man about 10 years her senior. She eventually ran away, had an unplanned pregnancy, and is now living in Arizona. Perhaps she was like this due to being traumatized by years of physical abuse by her father, the absentee parenting , and her mother looking the other way.

Colton's relationship with Emily was a rollercoaster of extreme sibling rivalry or a strong big brother's sense of obligation. He was overprotective of her from her dozens of boyfriends, whom Emily didn't bring around often because she knew Colton's threats to kick their asses wasn't empty.

During Colton's sophomore year, he finally stood up for Emily against their dad after he attempted to beat Emily again for no reason than to let out his frustration. Colton stood between them, and threw a punch toward his dad's jaw. It didn't connect. Colton's dad was a well-trained martial artist in his teenage years. Something that was useful in his rough Waimanalo neighborhood while growing up. His dad countered with a punch to Colton's gut. Colton buckled and his dad grabbed the top of Colton's shoulder and stood Colton upright. He held up his clenched fist and daringly asked "You like some more o' 'dis?" in an angry Hawaiian Pidgin English accent. He then proceeded to give a one two punch to Colton's rib and gut.

Never hit their face especially on a school night to make sure there was no visible evidence the next day. As Colton laid on the floor, he saw that Emily made it to her room and locked the door. He could hear her muffled crying. Colton's dad felt like he took care of business and didn't pursue Emily. His dad went into the living room and a familiar sound of a can of beer being opened permeated the silent aftermath in the house.

Colton's school was having a career day and Colton, desperate to get out of his dire situation, went up to the recruiter and asked, “What job do you have for me?” The Army Recruiter was more than happy to oblige. This was prime time for Army Recruiters, as the nation was still reeling from the 9/11 attacks. Colton was physically fit aside from a few beers and bongs with the boys occasionally. 

During basic training, Colton turned into new man. He was also finally able to eat at the Olive Garden in Columbus, GA after he completed his training at Fort Benning. He then completed his AIT and then went through the selection process for the 75th Ranger Regiment. 

Colton made it in, and his training was tough and challenging, but he used his pent-up anger toward his dad to motivate him to get through. He did not want to go back to that old life in Hawaii. He felt he was destined for something, anything other than his past.

Colton and Jack were deployed to Kandahar, Afghanistan. It was 2004 and the war seemed endless from the ground. They were conducting a raid by clearing buildings when they were ambushed. It must’ve been a momentary lapse in judgment, Jack had missed a dark corner of a room that he was clearing. Colton was just behind Jack and saw the muzzle of an AK-47 emerge from the darkness. Instinctively, Colton drew his rifle and fired, double tapping to the chest of the enemy and killing the tango. Jack was relieved but upset that his lack of attention could've cost his or one of his squad members' lives.

Although Jack made it through Ranger School, as soon as he was deployed to Afghanistan and faced the reality of war, he became slightly skittish. Colton figured it was because Jack's parents were rich. So, he was sheltered from all the harsh realities of life and wasn’t conditioned for hardships outside of that well guarded circle of privilege.

Colton wondered why Jack decided to join the Army when he could’ve gone to Harvard Law. Jack told Colton he was rebelling against his family's country club life and his overbearing attorney dad, who was a senior partner at some prestigious law firm. What better way to rebel than to join the Army and run into danger? Jack opined to Colton with a smile and a chuckle.

Then, Jack’s chuckle faded and he told Colton about Carolina, his fiancé. Jack never mentioned Carolina until now. Jack described her as Mestizo Filipina, long black hair, a size 4, almond eyes, distinct Filipino flat nose, and heart shaped lips. She had the most composed face of anyone he knew. Jack took out a worn photo of her and showed Colton. It was exactly as Jack described.

Jack and Carolina met in high school. He was a student at the Phillips Academy in Andover, MA. . She went to Andover high. Jacks parents tolerated Carolina as opposed to accepting her unconditionally.

They secretly hoped Jack would date Hannah instead. Hannah and Jack grew up together and in similar circumstances. Their parents were also friends. His parents thought that they would be a more proper fit for him. Jacks parents felt that Hannah was a more viable choice being that she is ethnically similar to them and knew their traditions and circles of friends and community.

Jack’s parents subtle hints to Carolina about how different she was along with their meddling in their relationship only created tension and doubt with Carolina. Carolina started to believe she wasn’t better than Hannah and maybe Jack secretly liked her instead since they grew up together.

Carolina couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with Jack. She couldn’t see herself having to overcome such a big hurdle of Jacks rich and well connected parents. This was the main reason behind Jack’s rebellion against his parents and all they represented.

Another hot day in Afghanistan at 104 degrees, you could see the waves of heat escaping the ground. Colton, Jack, and the rest of his squad encountered another ambush. Half of the squad was laying cover fire while the other half was advancing to gain a strategic advantage. Jack was advancing when he stepped on an IED, there was a delay, and Jack thought it was a malfunction, then it exploded. Jack died instantly in front of Colton’s eyes that day.

Colton didn’t re-up after his current service contract expired. He went back home to Hawaii and spent his time in isolation, resentment, and regret. Survivors guilt.

The image of Jack’s death haunts Colton even today, The V.A. didn’t offer much help for his mental health other than a 5-minute consult and another anti-depressant prescription. New Years and the Fourth of July were Colton's favorite past times since he liked to light fireworks and see all the illuminated colors in the night sky. Fireworks now trigger his PTSD.

About a year has passed. Colton received a visit from Jack’s parents. Colton answered the door and from the looks of it, he let himself go. Unshaven, long hair, a slight belly, haggard, and still dealing with depression. Jack’s dad introduced himself and his wife, Jack's mom. He told Colton it took awhile to find him. Jack’s mom looked at Colton with admiration.

“Thank you for taking care of my Jack”, she started. “Our Jack wrote highly of you and looked up to you, Colton. He would say you were the brother he never had”, as her voice started quivering. 

Jack’s father continued “We will forever be grateful to you for always watching out for our son out there.”  

Jack’s dad then told him about the house in Peoria that was meant for Jack once he got out of the Army. Jack’s parents told Colton that it was now his house free and clear, and it was what Jack would’ve wanted.  Colton began to sob, Jack's mom embraced Colton and began sobbing too.

The snow flurries began to turn into a steady snowfall, the sun was going down and so was the temperature. It was dusk and Colton planned on staying in as he didn’t know anyone in Peoria, hated the cold, and he was still uneasy socializing. Although he was longing for company. He checked his phone and saw that it was forecast to be 30 degrees that night.

Then, his phone alerted him that someone was at the front door. He looked at the video feed on his phone and saw a crowd of people in his doorbell camera. Colton went to open the door and was greeted warmly by all his neighbors. They also brought food, drinks, and housewarming gifts. They asked to come in and each introduced themselves and their wives or partners. They were all festive and welcoming to Colton.

As the night went on, Colton unexpectedly felt at ease with all his neighbors in his house. They were literally strangers a month ago. He felt the feeling of family and community. He thought of Jack and felt so much gratitude. Surprisingly, Colton also thought of his dad, mom, and Emily. He began letting go of his resentment toward his family and himself. He felt the warmness in the cold misery of the snow.