Enumeration

What could I tell you about me?

Where would I begin?

I’ll begin with my character.

My personality type makes up:

*1.5 % of the population’s personality types 

*1.5/100 of the population's personality types

*3/200 of the population's personality types

I’m a rarity, just not as exceptional as a coloured diamond, but considerably cheaper, although I have been characterized as ‘high maintenance,’ whatever that moniker might imply.

You need to know more about me.

I’m idealistically incorruptible. I’m not content to coast through life. I search out ways to make a difference and this helps me find fulfilment. My hands are ready to help. 

Please think of me as a force for good, one who is conscientious to the core with a clear view of my values, keeping my eyes on what matters. 

This feels like the list of ingredients in a recipe for me. 

Continuing on that tract, add intelligence and intuition to the mix.

In my life, I always live with the sense of being out of step, alone, swaying and shimmying to my soundtrack. I feel like that proverbial square peg in a round hole, expecting to be unmasked as an interloper, an alien, a fake. 

Despite all of this, compassion permeates my soul. 

I am the person who will:

1. Speak up
2. Shine a spotlight on injustices

I abhor unfairness. I abhor apathy. To quote Leo Buscaglia, “I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of live is not hate — it’s apathy, it’s not giving a damn.” I stand with Albert Einstein who wrote, “ The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” John Stott got it right: “Apathy is the acceptance of the unacceptable.”

I refuse to accept the status quo, the state is rife with the most hateful isms — racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, and classism. Imagine if we slayed these foes, what an inclusive world we would form, hell we might be able to save our home, our planet Earth from destruction. 

Sadly, I cannot spare myself from burnout. 

I can abandon myself, often. 

I do abandon myself.

I skip

1. self-care — 

I sow

1. seeds of stress

But, I am the phoenix, rising repeatedly from the ashes toward rebirth, and renewal.

I gravitate to gratitude, revelling in the many gifts I have been given. 

One thing I am most grateful for is yoga — the daily minutes of yoking the brain, heart, bones and soul. Through the asanas, I promote physical and mental wellness — strength, balance, flexibility, on and off the mat. Yoga is preventive. Yoga is proactive. Yoga is a process. I actively create the future I want for the plant through each small selection. 

I have yet to master rebirth. I work ceaselessly to achieve renewal. I strive to embrace equanimity despite the mice in my mind — those adorable rodents whirling, whirring wildly on their wonky wheels, around and around, chasing their tales on many occasions until, after yoga, my mice creep off these cycles of chaos to and collapse into calmness.

My disposition is dichotomous, a synthesis of the solitary and the social. I am a conundrum, an enigma, as much to myself as to others. 

Please don’t mistake my reserve for meekness. I’m looking, I’m listening. I’m learning more about you before I open my mouth to speak. When I do talk, don’t expect chit-chat or small-talk to fall from my lips, instead, you’ll hear honest, insightful statements. 

I am creative, crafting words, in prose and poetry, deconstructing, and reconstructing the experience of life. I possess a vibrant, vivid imagination. I imagine a world in which equality exists not just in words but in actions, for everybody — not just the straight white males who remain standing firm at the centre of the power flower. Enough already!!

Around my close friends, those few kindred spirits, my light shines bright, fuelled by pleasure and delight in our shared passions, interests and beliefs. 

Think of me as a creature of fused glass, kiln-formed, without lead lines, multi-dimensional.

I am: 

• Conscientious
• Private
• Idealistic
• Considerate 
• Intuitive

I aspire to Thich That Hand’s words. "The greatest freedoms are freedom from regret, freedom from fear, freedom from anxiety, and freedom from sorrow.” 

Fear is the one foe I would like to free myself from. 

I want to toss powerlessness away like a used tissue, letting it blow away on the wind. 

I need to pummel moral distress to a pulp. 

Authenticity is my mantra. 

I release myself from judgment.

I release myself from comparison.

I honour growing.

I acknowledge mistakes are part of living.

More and more, practicing authenticity means I’m like a salmon swimming against the current of my colleagues and friends. 

I struggle with self-love, with my ability to treat myself as I treat others. 

I possess courage. It is a strong muscle. I do what must despite fear standing by my side, shading my view, pulling me backwards.

Where do I stop?

Your silence unnerves me.

My palms sweat.

My spine tingles.

My ears crave connection.

I am a snail.

I can find my calm in my breath, with my pranayama. 

1. Sit crossed-legged on your meditation cushion. 
2. Close your eyes.
3. Place your hands on your knees, open palm to the sky. 
4. Breathe in the count of four:
5. 1
6. 2
7. 3
8. 4

5. Hold for seven: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7

6. Exhale for eight:

1. 8
2. 7
3. 6
4. 5
5. 4
6. 3
7. 2
8. 1

7. Repeat three times.

This is my gift to me.

This is my gift to you.

Om /A-U-M/

Sāntiḥ /Shanti/

Sāntiḥ /Shant/

Sāntiḥ /Shanti/

~om

~ peace 

~peace 

~peace

• What have I told you about me?
• What have you learned about me?
• Do you know me?
• I don’t even wholly know myself.
• Do you know yourself?
• Are you courageous enough to share yourself with me as I have with you?
• I am waiting.
• I wait.
• I am patient.
• I will not judge.
• I have clay feet.
• So do you.
• Share.