The Costume Rebellion

"Okay, folks, I have heard more than enough. You are really getting on my last nerve. Meet me in the Green Room in five."

I was beginning to seriously regret agreeing to serve as the costumer for the local high school's spring Drama Club production. In an abrupt departure from traditional comedies and musicals, the faculty advisor, Jeff Martin, had chosen Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet based on the extraordinary level of talent that he had observed throughout the school year. There was some serious push-back from the school's administration about undertaking such an advanced project, but Jeff assured them that the enthusiasm and talent of the cast would ensure a remarkable performance and engender an ongoing appreciation of Shakespeare's many works.

The usual costumer, Gertrude Shaeffer, was an aging and rather humorless seamstress. Her husband had broken his hip several months ago, had replacement surgery and was just finishing up his physiotherapy. I was asked to step into Gertrude's role based on my work with the local community theater group. Although I am not a talented seamstress like Gertrude, I did have access to a vast array of costumes at the community theater. There were plenty of items that could be modified and fitted for our young cast.

Most of the cast members were comfortable with my costume designs, but our leads were clearly upset. For young Juliet, I envisioned a long sleeve gold gown, partially covered by a long burgundy vest with gold cord ties at the bodice. Her long hair would be fashioned into a bun of sorts and covered with a slightly pointed cap in a matching burgundy. Our Juliet had other ideas...a full skirt with a bust-revealing tight blouse over a push-up bra. She wanted her hair down and flowing to further accent her beguiling sexuality, High-heeled shoes, rather than simple ballet flats, would complete the look, she added. The shoes would add to her diminutive height and her ultimate stage presence.

Romeo, I envisioned, would wear knee breeches with over-the-knee socks, a long sleeve lace-up shirt and a soft cloth hat with a ruffled brim. Our Romeo was appalled. "No, I will not go on any stage wearing that sort of get up! My friends will assume I am gay. And don't even think about getting me into women's tights or some sort of billowing shirt. I don't understand why I can't just wear some dark pants, some sort of shirt and maybe a vest."

After the lead cast members had settled in the Green Room, I began. "Folks, we are not putting on some Renaissance Fair. Costumes have always been an important aspect of Shakespearean plays. There are no special effects and no elaborate sets so the actors have to rely on their verbal delivery, appropriate gestures and their costumes to adequately deliver their characters. Mr. Martin, your faculty advisor, has made it abundantly clear that he does not want our presentation of this Shakespeare classic to disintegrate into a 'sappy West Side Story in modern dress.' Those were his exact words."

I continued, "You are still on book and haven't begun to learn your lines. I would have to speak with the student director and Mr. Martin about your costume concerns, but I am quite sure that they would both support the vision that I shared with them when I agreed to take on this role. I will remind you that there were a number of others at the auditions who would be thrilled to take your place. You were chosen based on your delivery at the auditions, but you definitely had some steep competition for your leading roles. Now, I am going to give you ten minutes to consider your commitment to this production."

I left the room fully aware that my bold statements could backfire. These two lead actors were clearly the best choices and I concurred with the student director and Jeff, the faculty advisor, when they shared their choices for the these critical roles. I pulled out my cell phone and quickly dialed Jeff's number.

"Jeff, I have a real problem here. Both our Juliet and Romeo are upset about their costume designs. Juliet wants to flaunt her assets and Romeo can't even articulate a reasonable alternative to his costume.

"What are they concerned about?" Jeff asked. I quickly summarized their concerns and demands. Jeff seemed to be silently mulling over the problem and seeking an answer for me. After a few moments, he responded with his characteristic belly laugh. "Oh, Lily, don't you know what day this is?"

I paused and suddenly gasped in realization. "Oh, my gosh, I completely forgot that this is April Fools Day! So this was all a ruse and I suppose that you knew all about it, didn't you? I can certainly agree that these two are very talented and convincing. They really had me fooled."

"Yep,' he replied. "I knew what they were up to and decided to just let them play it out."

Hmm, I thought. How could I save face and turn the tables on those two? Offer them more outrageous costumes? Tell them that they were going to be replaced? No, that wouldn't work. Ah, yes. I have a plan!

Allowing the remaining three minutes to elapse, I calmly walked into the Green Room. "Well," I said using an exasperated voice, "You were chosen for these roles and it isn't my job to find replacements. I have considered the options and have decided to simply resign as your costumer. I carefully researched the time period and employed what I believe are appropriate Elizabethan elements in my costume plot. Since you don't wish to accept my vision, you can now work out your costumes with Gertrude. I am sure that she would agree to return now that her husband is recovering well. Maybe she will be more willing to accommodate your wishes...although I doubt it", I added.

They sat there in total silence, just staring at me, apparently speechless at this turn of events. I glared at them as my words hit home.

"Apple Fools," I shouted suddenly and slowly they began to grin.

"Now lets get busy taking those measurements."