Kitchen Confessions

Kitchen Confessions

Corrine walked down the hall into the kitchen just as the sun’s morning rays were coming through the front window over the dining room table and striking the kitchen cabinets. Jimmy stood at the counter whipping something in a bowl. He was wearing jeans, hiking boots, and a t-shirt with a picture of Barbara Eden’s Genie on the front and the words “Yes Master” on the back. Corine was surprised to see him armed to the teeth with two hunting knives, a .45 on his belt, and a Samurai sword slung over his shoulder.

           “Good morning, Sunshine,” she said cheerfully. She went up on her tippy toes and kissed the back of his neck. “Whatcha making?”

           “I’m making a glaze for the ham.”

           “Ham?”

           He turned around. “I found a ham in the fridge and I’m cooking it. Sorry.”

           “It’s okay. Sounds good.”

           “Good. It’ll be done in about thirty minutes. Then I’ll glaze it and cook it for another fifteen. While it’s resting, I’ll fix eggs and grits.” He noticed she was wearing a short satin nightie. “Jesus, girl. Look how you’re dressed. Lucky for you that you’re my cousin.”

           “Yeah, right,” she said. “Like you would ever give a damn about any girl except Debbie.”

           “Hey,” said Jim, “you want some biscuits?”

           “Hell, yes,” she responded enthusiastically. “So tell me why you’re making breakfast like this?”

           “When everybody gets up, they’re going to be hungry.”

           “No. I mean what you’re wearing. You look like you’re going to war. A sword and a gun.”

           “Habit. The last few months have been intense.”

           “Let’s talk,” said Corrine, concerned.

           “How about we have breakfast and then take a nice long walk? You show me the place and I’ll tell you everything.”

           “Promise?”

           “I promise. Have you looked out the front window?”

           “Yeah. Smoke. From a fire or something.”

           “Or something,” said Jimmy. “The gang boys are no more.”

           “What do you mean, no more?” she said, while getting out the fixings for biscuits.

           “I mean gone. Lock, stock, and fentanyl.”

           She took a breath. “What did you do?”

           “Not me. Shewuma. She was really pissed off about them killing your dog.”

           “What exactly did she do?” Corrine asked as she stirred the ingredients for the biscuit dough in a glass bowl.

           “Hey, don’t overwork that,” Jimmy said.

           “Easy, Big Boy. I was making biscuits before you were born.”

           “I don’t think so,” said Jimmy. “I’m older than you.”

           “You’re ducking my question, Jim. We never lie to each other. Right?”

           “Right. Never. I haven’t talked to her yet. But I’m guessing she killed them, buried them in the woods, and burned down the buildings.”

           Corrine slid the bowl of biscuit dough to him and scanned his face for humor or sarcasm. “You’re serious.” Jimmy nodded, floured the counter and began rolling the dough.

Corrine admitted, “Maybe I misjudged her. Tell me. What’s the deal with you three?”

           Jimmy stopped and looked at her. “Why do you ask that?”

           “Well, I don’t have superpowers, but I’m not deaf. When we came in last night, I went by Wu’s bedroom door and I could hear, you know, familiar sounds.”

           “When did you become subtle?” Jim asked.

           “Okay, Smarty Boy. Were you having sex with Shewuma last night?”

           “Yes.”

           Corrine couldn’t believe it. “You cheated on Debbie?”

           “No. Debbie was there too.”

           “A three-way?” She punched his bicep. “Get outta here. So, you and her?”

           “More her and Debbie.”

           “Debbie’s bisexual?”

           “It’s complicated,” said Jimmy, not knowing how to explain it.

           “Well, give me the short version for now.”

           He sighed. “Debbie and Wu have something. Some connection. Anyway. The other time it happened.”

           “The other time!” Corrine declared.

           “Settle down, Girl. The other time, I thought we all kind of agreed that it wouldn’t happen again. But it did. And I’m glad.” He said it almost glumly.

           “I don’t understand the dynamics here,” Corrine pressed. “You don’t sound glad. You said it like you’re unhappy.”

           “Oh, no. I love Wu to death. And the sex is ridiculous. I mean, she comes, then we come, and then she comes with us.”

           “Wait,” said Corrine, turning her full attention to him. “Explain all of that.”

           Jimmy explained it slowly and deliberately. “Remember I told you yesterday that she is an empath? When she is touching you, she feels what you feel.” He waited for it to sink in. Then he saw the light come on in her face.

           “Oh, Lord,” said Corrine. “You mean when you or Debbie come she feels it too?” She finally understood.

           “That’s exactly what I mean.”

           “That is crazy hot,” said Corrine, trying to process and imagine it at the same time.

           “It really is,” said Jim. “But I don’t know.” He trailed off.

           “Tell me, Babe. What?” She put her hand on his.

           “This is as simple as I can put it. Debbie’s my life and I would never put her in a situation where she has to choose.”

           “Why would she choose Wu over you? You two have been together since you were kids.”

           “Like I said, it’s really complicated.” Corrine waited. He sighed heavily and continued. “Her alien DNA is from Wu’s dead husband. She seems to have some of his feelings, and I can’t take any chances on what that means. It’s not just us three. Also, Wu is convinced that some Indian Gods specifically sent Debbie to save her. So, besides the other reasons she’s also obsessed with that.”

           Corrine leaned in and whispered, “She does seem…I won’t say slutty. More like easy.”

           “You don’t need to bother whispering. She can hear everything we’re saying. As a matter of fact, she’s on her way in here right now.”

           “Oh, crap. She heard what I just said?” He looked over at her and she was wide-eyed, her mouth open in surprise.

           Shewuma entered the kitchen wearing only panties and a bra, with her battle belt stocked with knives and tomahawks, slung over her shoulder. “Good morning, Corrine. I heard you guys come in last night. And I understand you heard us coming as well.”

           Jimmy spoke up. “Wu, stop trying to seduce my cousin.”

           Shewuma grazed the inside of Corrine’s elbow with her finger. “Oh, come on. It’s not like she isn’t curious.”

           “Why would you say that?” Corrine said.

           “Because I felt it when I touched you,” Wu said in her sexy voice.

           Corrine stammered, “Jimmy. Uh. I’m a…I’m going to uh...” Without completing her sentence, she pointed at the bedroom.

           “Go get him, Girl,” Jimmy said.

           Corrine started to say something to Wu but then just hurried away. Jimmy chuckled. “You put your spell on her, Wu. She’s going to bang her husband’s brains out.”

           “He should thank me,” said Wu, and Jimmy agreed. “You’re making biscuits?” Then she changed gears. “I want to talk to you about Debbie.”

           Jimmy felt funny in his stomach. Was this the conversation he’d been dreading?

           “You know I love Debbie deeply.”

           “As do I,” said Jimmy, turning from his biscuits to face her.

           “I know. I’ve never seen anyone more loyal or devoted to a person than you are to Debbie. But I want you to know that I love you too. We’re family. And I would never cause or choose or permit any scenario where you two were not together. You understand?”

           Jimmy kissed her forehead. “That means a lot to me.”

           Wu leaned in and kissed him tenderly on the lips. “And I want you to know that I am always here for you.”

           He smiled and went back to his biscuits while asking, “Is Debbie still asleep?”

           “Hard to believe but yes.”

           An unexpected, stinging slap to the ass elicited a yelp from Shewuma. “Go get her up. Breakfast in forty minutes. And you can help me decorate some Christmas cookies after we eat.”

           Wu walked away happy but surprising herself by wondering if they were doing the right thing. Jimmy watched her leave, enjoying her ignorance of a floured handprint on her butt cheek.

Shewuma quietly entered the bedroom and hung her battle belt on the knob. As she looked for her turquoise necklace in the wooden box on top of the dresser, she realized Debbie was awake. “Well, look at you, sleeping like a normal person. I guess Jimmy and I wore you out last night.”

           “I guess you did,” said Debbie in a sleepy stupor. “Hey! What’s on your hiney?”

           Shewuma looked at her backside in the long mirror. “Apparently a joke from our husband.”

           “Our husband?” Debbie repeated.

           “I’m sorry, Dibs. It just slipped out.”

           “It’s okay. I like it,” Debbie admitted. Shewuma put on her manta along with a pair of Debbie’s white yoga pants. Debbie eyed the leg coverings and raised up in bed on her elbow. “Hey, what’s the occasion?” She flipped her tousled blonde hair behind her causing the covers to slip down and expose one divine breast.

           “I’m trying to show a little bit of decorum,” said Wu. She took in Debbie’s inadvertent artistic pose of beauty. “How can you possibly just wake up and look like that?”

           Debbie appreciated the compliment but didn’t acknowledge it. “Decorum is good. But not too much. Okay?”

           “Oh, who’s being bad now?”

           “Always you, Wu. Always you.”

           Shewuma thought of Jimmy’s earlier admissions and fears and suddenly felt a bit conscience stricken. “Are we okay, Debbie? No regrets from last night?”

           “We are so good, Baby.” Debbie reached out for the back of Wu’s thighs and pulled her in, putting her head on Wu’s belly. Wu kissed the top of her head, then wiggled out and grabbed her weapons. As she left she said, “Breakfast shortly.”