Love in high school

This is the place, underneath these branches of the mighty oak tree I had my first kiss with the girl I loved since third grade, Emilia. Back then it was something that didn’t mean anything to two little kids, nothing more than an act of friendship really. I sat on the swings under the old oak tree. They were a makeshift set of two swings someone made years ago before the rest of the modern park was made; what with its new jungle gym and slides. It had swings, but they weren’t the same as these. Besides these held a special place in my heart.

Now began the hardest part of my day, maybe even my life as I waited for Emilia to come back to the place we shared our first kiss. With the letter I wrote last night confessing my love to Emilia in hand I read it over swinging back and forth as I waited for her.

 The wind howled around me, the current blowing through my hair while I waited rocking back and forth. Chains rustling as I swayed in the air.

After a while I looked down at my watch to notice it’s been over an hour since I’ve been here at the park, but Emilia hasn’t come yet. My heart is racing as fast as a jet engine from the fuel of excitement earlier, slight despair now, and overall anxiety.

I looked up at the lush green leaves of the oak tree. “Why am I even still here? It’s been ten minutes and Emilia hasn’t shown up. No text, no call, nothing on social media. Did something happen to her?” I said to myself. Thoughts of her last ex-boyfriend Zack raced into my head. It’s been months but what if he was trying to get back with her?

Thoughts of the worst-case scenario continued to race in my head for the next twenty minutes as I stayed on the swings going back and forth trying to keep my mind clear.

Then I heard the sound I’ve been waiting for.

“Have you been swinging like this for a while Roy? I’m so sorry for making you wait this long.” a voice said behind me. It was familiar. That gentle voice I have been craving to hear for the past half an hour was unmistakable.

I looked over and it was just what I wanted to see, Emilia’s uttering those words. The first thing I always notice is her angelic blue eyes gleaming with kindness. Her bright blond hair and petite figure were incredible, but those eyes were out of this world.

I stop kicking so the swing would slow down enough to get off as I saw her. But how do I respond to this; truthfully may be too harsh if she forgot or had some issues… but playing it cool sells me short. Think!

Time to answer Roy, you didn’t get an “A” in speech and debate to fall flat on your face in front on the girl you love… “Hey Emilia! No, I haven’t been swinging too long…” I said while trying to be as cool as possible getting off the swing. “Wait! Did I just say ‘swinging’? Why didn’t I just say, ‘here too long’?” I thought to myself.

But Emilia simply smiled back at me. “Well that’s a relief! My family wanted to go out to celebrate graduation with a nice lunch. Oh! I also kind of left my phone at home today so I’m sorry for not texting you any updates. I was so stressed out with the math and English finals today that I just left it behind. But I know it wasn’t fair to make you wait I’m so sorry! I lost track of time thinking lunch wouldn’t take too long. Once I saw a clock hit ‘3:30pm’, I freaked out and drove here as soon as I could. I’m so sorry Roy…” Emilia said before apologizing twenty more times.

“Hey…” I said reaching out “Emilia… it’s okay. Things like this happen! Honestly I’m glad you didn’t have your phone on you since I probably sent too many messages while I waited here…”

Emilia gasped as soon as she heard this.

“Crap” I thought.

“Oh no… You’ve been here since three then? Or knowing you, you probably came early too… I’m sorry! So so so sorry! Today was the worst day to leave my phone behind. It’s our last day as high schoolers and I wanted to spend it with all the people that mattered, I wanted to be sure I spent time with you. If I had my phone, I could have ditched my family and meet you here sooner.” She said sadly.

Think fast… come on think of something to save this situation. Emilia has always been incredibly sensitive, it’s something that will help on her dream to be a doctor. She’s the kind soul that puts everyone else’s need ahead of her own. Throughout the school year she would make extra meals to give to kids who didn’t have food, volunteered on the weekends, tutoring and more. But it’s been as much of a curse as she’s dealt with too many crappy boys that hurt her. Not anymore.

I took a deep breath. “Yeah I was here a bit earlier maybe two thirty. I guess I was just nervous is all…” I said laughing to lighten the mood a little bit.

“Don’t laugh!” Emilia cried out “It’s my fault you were here waiting all alone and I won’t have you beating yourself up over my mistakes”. She grabbed on to my arms and looked up at me.

How could I resist those blue eyes of hers as she looked up at me still grasping my arms. I can’t hold this in anymore, today of all days I need to tell her how I feel.

“Emilia. I actually wanted to give you something.”

I reached into my pocket for the love letter. Here was nine years of love put down into physical form. It just needs to work as intended.

The tension and anxiety built into my heart as she started glancing down at those words nine years in the making.

“Hmm this is a long letter. Why not tell me how you feel yourself?” She said with the cutest smile imaginable. But then she ripped the letter in two!

My eyes went white with fear. All those words I chose were gone. Falling to the ground.

Yet without hesitation Emilia said, “Roy, I’m sure that those words were beautiful, but your voice is what I want to hear. I don’t want to read what you have to say. Tell me, straight from your heart”.

The air escaped my heart as I prepared to say those four words I’ve longed to say for years.

Now it was time. “Alright. Emilia. You’re one of my best friends. We’ve been neighbors as well as friends since third grade, but I’ve kept something from you all this time…I love you Emilia.”

My heart was pounding faster and faster, but I continued on, “I needed to get that off my chest today. I know it seems super sudden given that the school year just ended but I don’t think I could have gone any longer without telling you. I don’t want you to feel pressured to give an answer, but I had to say it, I love you”.

Emilia stood there in silence as she looked at me. She avoided my gaze as if thinking about what to say next. I can tell I dropped a bomb on her…maybe I shouldn’t have done this. I should have kept my feelings bottled up. But still I have to hear out what she’s going to say.

“How long have you felt like this?” she asked.

“Since middle school at least. When we danced together at one of the dances and you grabbed my hand to dance with me. I felt so special, like my world changed in an instant. But I was afraid to tell you for so long.”

“ROY?!?”

SMACK. Suddenly a sharp pain came over the left side of my face.

“Ow! What was that for?” I tried to ask but the left side of my face was numb, so I wasn’t sure if that came out.

“I’m sorry! But… Roy you liked me since middle school and never told me?” She said gazing into my eyes. “Do you even realize how many shitty boyfriends I could have avoided if you just asked me out then?” She was bright red. As if something had come over her.

“You idiot…” she said “I felt the same way. All those times that we were together I just wanted you to reach out to me. To hold my hand in yours, to drag me closer in your arms while we danced the night away at prom, to kiss me again like you did underneath this tree and when we played seven minutes in heaven, but you never did”.

Emilia really feel the same way I did for all these years and yet I didn’t act.

She started pacing around the swings. Back and forth in front of me. Doing her best to avoid looking at me.

“Look, Roy, I’m sorry I slapped you, but I need to know why you waited so long to tell me how you felt. Telling me at the end of high school is sweet, but we both know that in three months I’m going to be in Berkley, then Med school, and a residency and you’ll be in Sacramento studying to be a teacher. After today our lives will be going in different paths. We won’t have any time for cute dates or time together.” As Emilia said this, tears started running down her cheeks.

Everything we had been through together started running through my head. Past images of us starting an acorn club in elementary school by ourselves, sitting on the grass at the park looking up at the stars as meters blew across the skies like a painting by Picasso, that dance in middle school as we found each other out of the crowd, and the first kiss we shared underneath this very oak tree we’re under too. That kiss lit my brain ablaze. As well as the memories of sixth grade, the first time I wanted to kiss Emilia because I loved her. We both went into a closest as something that started as a dare but confessing that she wanted to kiss me as much I wanted to kiss her was like something in a movie. The feeling as our lips touched almost made my heart explode. And even now standing in front of her those thoughts made my heart race faster and faster. More memories flashed before my eyes.

 I didn’t tell her how I felt. I chickened out in sixth grade and for years after that. But I can’t let her slip away this time.

“I was too young… I was too stupid…” I started mumbling. My body shaking as fear raced through my veins.

“If I change the past I would. I should’ve taken your hand as we walked out of that closest after we kissed for that dare in sixth grade. It was just a dare, but it meant everything to me because it was with you. Even that first kiss under this tree when we were kids meant the world to me. No one has been able to replace the feeling of love I felt in that moment or anytime I’m with you. Those nights looking at the stars, going to dances, studying together, choir, even if it was all just as friends it meant the world to me because I was with you, Emilia. To me it wouldn’t matter if you’re a simple walk next door or three hours away. Hell, even if you were across the world that wouldn’t stop me from loving you and wanting to be with you.”

The tears started rushing down my cheeks now. Everything that I’ve held in for years was starting to come out. Emilia deserves to know my true feelings.

Emelia came up to hug me “Roy – “

I know I have to show her my love with my actions. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. Her lips meeting mine were a euphoria of emotions rushing through my entire body. Her lips kissing me back was like being welcomed to heaven on earth. Her arms slowly wrapping around my shoulders. This was the same sensation as all those years ago when we were young, the feeling I’ve yearned to feel for years. I wish I could hold her Emilia like this forever, but I broke away. I could see the glow in her eyes.

“Well it took you long enough to grow a pair and kiss me.” She said looking up at me with those dazzling blue eyes.

“I hope that shows that I want things to change. I know my words may be hollow, but I want to show you my love with action. I love you Emilia, and I don’t care where we are that won’t change.” I said with her still in my arms. The tears were flowing from my eyes but I these are tears of joy.

Emilia wiped away my tears. Yet she still had a sad look in her eyes.

“But Roy, I want you to be with me more than anything else. Beyond just the summer, and into all of med school. Are you willing to commit to being with me through all of that?”

“I’m committed to being with you no matter what Emilia. No matter where you are, I’ll go visit you. I’ll call you and text you. I’ve waited years to be with you, so I’m gonna do everything I can to make this the best summer of our lives. As for you going to Berkley, that’s only two hours away so I will do everything I can to visit you on weekends and we’ll have holidays together too. Once I’m teaching, I could teach in the Bay Area and once you’re a doctor we’ll live anywhere together.”

“Hmm – I don’t know I’m still not completely convinced you love me that much; I think you’ll have to kiss me again to prove it” Emilia said flirtatiously with the cutest smile.

“Oh really? I think I can do that?”

And so, we kissed again.

“Okay I’m starting to sense that you might like me, but If you want to be my boyfriend, you have to kiss me again.” She said passionately. And our lips met again with the same passion.

“Emilia I could do this all day, all summer, and all my life” I said pulling my love closer.

“I like the sound of that Roy. Actually, I love the sound of that.” She said.

We left the park holding hands as we went off to start a new adventure together. The girl next door, the one I’ve been in love with for years is now my girlfriend, the future is bright, and I couldn’t be happier.

We won’t have every random night to look up at the stars or watching movies like before but from now on everyday will be the best days of our lives.