The Red Tinge Of The Sky At Dawn

With a twist of the key, I opened the lock to my door. With heavy steps, I walked across the chestnut threshold which matched the furniture in my house. While one hand put the keys onto the key stand, my other hand reached out to the switches. The lights added some brightness to the room. Monotony had gotten the best of me. I took my bag off my shoulder and dropped it at the cold granite floor as I retreated to my bedroom. 

If anyplace provided some solace to me was cosy boudoir. The tiny fairy lights did not fill the room with light, but it did spread a soothing warmth which readily resonated with my heart. My bedspread was slightly crumpled which brought in homeliness. I rushed to my bed. Dinner was no longer a necessity for me. This meant I would have to stay awake for some more time. I did not want to do that. I chanted a small prayer under my breath wishing that Slumber visits early today. I lied down.

Tossing and turning, I tried sleeping in every way possible. Counting sheep, using lavender oil, drinking warm milk…. These days everyone seems to know the solution for each problem, but I can guarantee you that none of these methods work. Usually, I end up staring at the galactic sky that I had painted on the ceiling until the sun comes up, but today I ended up rewinding the whole day.

I am used to the mooing of the cows and the chirping of the birds that eagerly wake me, but for six months the screeching of tires and honking of horns had become my new alarm. Knowing that my dressing up would not make a difference, I quickly put on a beige pantsuit and a white blazer and left for work. As soon as I stepped out of the apartment door I was carried away by a sea of pedestrians. I had slowly learned to go with the flow. I reached the metro station, showed my monthly pass and waited patiently for the metro to arrive. 

Just as I saw a distant light coming towards the platform, I moved a little to the left. When the doors opened another crowd simply pushed me in without the need to make much effort. Today the metro was a little vacant. I immediately recognized a few faces I had been seeing for quite some time now. However, each one seemed to be too busy to notice others around them. I got off the metro and walked briskly to my office. Shops were open, restaurants already had their customers for breakfast and some roads were already blocked due to traffic. The crossing signal turned green but I did not move. Only when there were some more pedestrians waiting with me was I ready to cross. I could not let another car zoom past me in the middle of the road like I never existed.

But the automated doors of my office seemed to know my presence. I pressed the elevator button for the 6th floor. The desks were aligned into rows and the entire floor was bustling. ‘A smile boosts your confidence’. So I tried giving the most amiable smile to everyone around me. But with every passing person, the width of my smile kept reducing. How could I keep smiling if no one reciprocated it? I reached my desk to find a stack of files already waiting for me. Straightway, I started with my work. Every time I finished a section of the files another section just magically reappeared! That meant I was not getting a chance to go around and talk to my colleagues.

At work, we have a late lunch which is clubbed with high tea. When I go down to the canteen the tables are usually crowded. I try mustering up some courage to try and talk but I usually end up in a corner of the room. My heart wanted to believe that things would change, but I just ended up going back to my desk and completing whatever more I could do. Today most colleagues were leaving early to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I could hear the excitement in their talk as the elevator door was closing. Like most nights I was the last one to leave.

The crowd on the streets are always the same at any time of the day. The light from the tiny windows of the skyscrapers seemed to light up the sky which had a purple and pink hue now. While my body decided that it had worked enough for the day, my mind had thought of something else.

The next thing I know, I have taken another route and I’m walking towards a small park with a tiny pond. As I entered the park a gentle breeze welcomed me in. The ducks swam unconcerned for anyone but as I went closer they were suddenly curious. Probably because I was a new face. Luckily I had some bread left from my lunch so I fed the ducks. I sat on a bench nearby looking at how the ducklings fought each other for more crumbs. The lush green of the grass soothed my eyes. The branches above me seemed to stretch a little bit more to encompass me. The pond beautifully reflected the sky and the occasional ripples seemed to play with these colours. The gentle breeze whistled through the leaves. In my hometown, the sky was much clearer. My friends and I would walk through the orchards to go back home after a day of some innocent fun of climbing trees, eating fruits straight from its source and running about. Sometimes my family would spend the night out in the backyard singing and dancing and sleeping together in a tent.

It was getting really dark and the people who were there earlier had left. I was trudging towards home, completely oblivious to all sights and sounds around me. Now that I think about it, maybe my day had been extended just for some more time so that I could have gone to the park. That brought a small smile to my face and this time it was genuine. I see a red tinge in the sky and I know another day has to begin soon but my eyes just close never to open again.