The Locked Door

The Locked Door

by Cynthia Joyner

     It was 1978. winter in the old steel town of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  I was twelve and had just entered into that awkward preteen stage of life.  It was hard enough being shy and so unsure of myself, but at this age, those qualities seemed to be magnified immensely by the fact that I was the oldest of three girls. I was a quiet girl, that pretty much kept to myself.  Reading was my favorite pastime.  I loved the escape a good book offered.  To clean my room, lay across my bed, and begin my journey on the first page of an intriguing mystery was more than reading to me.  I was taking an adventure, traveling, experiencing life, unlike what my actual life had to offer. Stepping through a door to somewhere else.

    Sometimes things happen in life, that are strange and can actually make you question your sanity.  Things that are hard to believe.  Things that don’t make sense, no matter how you look at them.  Reality at times blurs into the area of dreams.  This is when a person has to step back, evaluate and think, what is? Who can I discuss this with? Am I just crazy?

     I’ll never forget the first time it happened. It was an ordinary day.  My best friend, my two sisters, and I were hanging out at my house.  We were bored, so we decided to go on outside.  We ended up on our back porch, after the brisk Pittsburgh wintery chill started taking effect on our hands and feet. We were just sitting and talking on the old glider and lawn chairs that mom kept out there.  We started talking about ghosts and the paranormal and telling spooky stories.  It was my turn to offer some spine-tingling tale.  I remember closing my eyes and trying to prepare to scare everyone.  I remember sitting there with my eyes closed feeling the cold air blow across my neck. I took a sip of my hot chocolate and I began to speak and that’s when it happened.  In my mind I could see a vision of a door in front of me.  As I got closer to it, I realized that it was a brown wooden door. A closed wooden door.   I could hear everyone around me, but just kept squeezing my eyes closed, and felt as though I was being pulled closer and closer to this brown door! I was unable to speak, open my eyes or move!  As I approached the door, I felt afraid but couldn’t resist the urge to reach for the doorknob and open the door.  As I did it slowly drifted open completely silent.  I remember feeling afraid, but the desire to adventure through the door was stronger than my fear.  I stepped through the door, one foot at a time slowly, and stepped into a mist.  I couldn’t see anything! My fear turned to terror, I began to turn around to step back through the door.  As I began to turn around I started to hear voices.  I peered through the mist trying to find where the voices were coming from.  The mist began to clear.  What I saw was confusing, bewildering, and terrifying.  I couldn’t look away from the scene in front of me.  The mist had completely dissipated by this time.  Strangely enough, I was looking at a hospital exam room.  There were doctors, nurses, monitors beeping,  and alarms loudly ringing.  What in the world was going on! Where was I? I could hear everyone around me but was almost stuck in this place in my mind, through the brown door, which had now closed behind me.  As I began to approach the hospital scene slowly when I heard a voice say we’re losing him! This shook me up even more! I knew I had to get closer to this situation.  As I approached the center of this hospital exam room, I realized it appeared to be an emergency room and a man was on the stretcher.  This was impossible! It just couldn’t be real! What was I looking at? As I forced myself to look closer, I looked down.  I was staring at an elderly man! A man I recognized, it was my neighbor, Mr. Stone.  Just as I tried to reach out and touch his shoulder and speak to him.  Still heard my sisters and friend around me, but was unable to come out of wherever I was.  I hear the sound of a heart monitor beeping and everyone yelling, we’re losing him! The beeping noise grew louder and louder yet slower and slower and then a monotone voice speaks and says,” Mr. Stone is gone.” 

As I took a deep breath and tried to reach out and touch him.  I realized I was being pulled back through the now open brown door, through the mist, so forcefully, it took my breath away!  I tried to stop, but couldn’t grab onto anything around me or stop! I remember opening my eyes, gasping for breath and when I opened my eyes I was looking at my sisters and friend right back on that freezing cold back porch, no door, no hospital, no Mr. Stone.  I looked at everyone and said, Mr. Stone, is going to die. Of course, they looked at me like I had lost my mind and then we just sipped on our hot chocolate in total silence, not knowing what to say.  One week later after suffering a heart attack, sadly, Mr. Stone passed away!

     It was a fierce winter that year.  So most of our activities were inside.  We watched television, listened to music, and spent a lot of time talking and sharing spooky stories.  I sat listening to my sisters' ghostly tidbits while waiting for my turn in the story circle. Which is something we never missed getting together and doing every weekend.   I decided to tell the tale of the haunted house that scared all of the neighborhood that stood just a block down the street from my home.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and there it was! A thick mist and then the brown door appeared. Closed, appearing locked with a skeleton key, and then it began to open! I again was afraid but couldn’t resist what I may see.  Just as a scene was coming into focus.  I remember my sister nudging me.  The door remained open.  But I opened my eyes, before the door closed! I felt as if I had been shaken out of a sound sleep! I looked around the room, trying to hide the fact that I really felt groggy and dazed.  As my eyes scanned the room. My attention was drawn to the glass block window on the back wall of the bedroom. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I could hear everyone saying, “Hey it’s your turn, are you going to tell your story?”

      I tried to begin my story but I was drawn to the glass block. I couldn’t believe it! There is one of the crystal-like blocks of the window was the brown door.  It was open! The vision of Mr. Stone passing flashed in my mind and fear and sadness chill fully came over me.  I just wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn’t.  As I stared intensely at the one glass block and peered even deeper through the slivers of light. I was through the mist and through the door.  I could hear heavy rain falling, loud thunder crashing, and lightning striking all around me! I wanted to run to seek shelter, but my feet felt heavy and unable to move! Next, as I heard the sound of thunder crashing, I looked up to see a lightning flash and then strike the huge one-hundred-year-old tree that stood in the front yard of my home.  It split and started falling until the roof of our house stopped falling! At this moment I remember breathing and running.  I catch my breath open my eyes and I’m sitting in our bedroom, my sister says, “are you going to tell us what’s going on?”

      I ran out of the room and decided to never tell anyone what I had experienced! 

      Months passed winter moved into spring, storytelling turned into bike riding and outdoor adventures. And to be honest, I didn’t miss storytelling and cold winter days, maybe the hot chocolate.     I remember the next summer day to come, which came so quick.   It became ingrained in my mind.  It was a day like no other.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  My sisters and I were riding our bikes, dad was cutting the grass, mom was hanging laundry outback.  The sky started to darken, the wind was picking up and I could feel raindrops on my forehead as I pedaled fast to park my bike in the carport! Just as I made it to the carport, the rain picked up.  The daylight became instant darkness and then the wind began to roar.  I tried to hurry into the house, when all of the sudden, there was a giant crash, and lightning lit up the sky! I then heard a splitting sound and then again crash! I ran to the front yard. My mom, dad, and sisters were standing there rain-soaked and as shocked as I was.  The enormous, aged, one-hundred-year-old tree that had stood in our front yard had been struck by a lightning split in half, and had fallen on our house, completely crushing the roof, turning our split level home into a one-story home! Just like the vision beyond the brown door, again… 

   Many years have passed and several doors have opened and closed since my last vision.  I decided to close the last brown door that I ever walked through and I was on the outside to never walk through the doorway again! In fact I locked it myself, this time. In fact, I still have that worn skeleton key to that brown wooden locked door. It's in a secret place, locked away, where it will stay. Many spooky stories have been shared amongst me, family, and friends, but no brown door visions.  The Closed door is left closed.   I have learned through age, experience, and wisdom that some doors that we come upon in this life are never meant to be opened.  I advise that if you find yourself facing an unfamiliar entrance or  closed door, always keep in mind that some doors are never meant to be opened. Some doors maybe should be walked through. Who's to say what we call life here is all there is. What if we are living in just one layer of a whole galaxy of dimensions and sometimes we slip in and out of a dimension. Maybe we can learn from these experiences back and forth and do good or something that can lead us to or from a destination or path. But why can’t everyone step through this doorway? I’ve often wondered why this doorway was meant for me.  Maybe we all have those closed doors that we either choose to open and walk through or ignore and walk away. I suppose no one will ever know unless they grab hold of that doorknob unlock it with their courage and fearlessly step onto the other side. Sometimes maybe we shouldn't look before we leap. Even if we don't know what may be waiting on the other side!             The Locked Door

                                                                   Cynthia Joyner