Going back for ‘a’ good!

              Going back for ‘a’ good!

         There was a purpose for all of the research and the dedication required towards the construction of a mechanical machine and transportation unit, that would be capable to reverse time and decrease the age of a living person seated within this structure, and this personal purpose was to avoid an incident that would dramatically and drastically affect both my younger years and a near-fatal incident that I had about eighteen years previously!

         It would positively improve all of those youthful times that I had and the bright sunlight would not dictate the decisions that I had to make anymore, in order’, to avoid great headaches and the resulting severe sickness; The weather and the seasons had great importance in controlling these headaches and the warmth from the sun, along with the bright and constant glare from the sun’s rays were, not ‘at all’, favoured and the constant squinting would always start the migraines off!

        Unbeknown to me, I was born with a weak vein in my brain, which was located at the base of the brain, in a central position and just above the spinal column/chord and this vulnerability was undetected for many, many long years and in the Spring and the Summer visits to the doctor with excruciating headaches were very common, but I would gain nothing more than headache tablets and some sympathetic words! For many years, I simply endured those months and I really favoured the Autumn and the Winter months knowing that I could relax and try to enjoy those times because the sun would rarely be out and it wouldn’t be too hot!  

        I was about 17 or 18 years old before these headaches ceased and I simply thought that they were just ‘part of’ my adolescence! 

        I would still suffer, very occasionally, with headaches but they were mostly self-inflicted and were sometimes the result from an indulgent alcoholic intake, especially in my early student years, but as responsibility became necessary, and the mortgage and other household expenses took care of my wages, the alcoholic drinks ceased, ‘somewhat’, and soon other commitments would dictate how we spent our working wage and for many glorious years I hadn’t suffered with any severe headaches or sickness and my Fiancée and I lived happily in our new home and life seemed okay BUT about 6 months later, after we moved in and against all of the medical odds I suffered with, and obviously survived, a very rare and sudden brain haemorrhage, that occurred about 20 years after my initial head trauma when I was younger, which is believed(“mostly by me”!) to have resulted from an incident that I could have avoided when I was about 6 years old, in 1974?

        I can remember that event and the effects that I suffered because of it!

         So the research(‘possible theories, mathematical calculations, weather activity and the materials needed’) into creating this machine, that could hopefully reverse time, would be fantastic and I, ‘so very much’, wanted to believe in the making of this device so that I could eliminate all of those bad times that I suffered because of this head injury and avoid the disabling brain haemorrhage that I would experience many years later and that would almost end my existence!

         Many, many long and difficult years after suffering with this brain haemorrhage and undergoing the necessary occupational therapy and all of the physiotherapy that would be required, to try to regain some independence and to try to regain the abilities to talk, write and speak and to feed myself and regain some or a reasonable strength, I would, desperately research and draw(‘several times’!) plans, with theories and formulas to determine the design for this invention, whilst I would also  try to ‘reprogram’ my brain with the instructions that I/‘the younger person that I could become’, would need to remember, ‘in order’, for this mission to succeed and I kept repeating “do as you’re told”, “do as you’re asked to do”, “do as you’re told”, “do as you’re told”, and I hoped that this constant repetition would be remembered and ‘lodged in the brain’ and adhered with at the appropriate moment?

        I had previously undertaken some long and detailed conversations with my mum into getting the correct day of the week, the year and the time for this events occurrence and I hoped, I really hoped, that this machine actually worked and would return me to the appropriate year, month and time, so that, I could avoid the constant years of severe headaches, the loss of balance with the dizziness and the severe sickness that use to condemn me to lying down in a silent darkened room with a sick bowl by my side! 

        These migraines would disrupt my childhood and my teenage years, and, after the age of between 19/20 these severe headaches became a joyful rarity! 

        The idea for such a machine, sounded credible and I really wanted to see if it would have been successful but had I really thought about the possibility of this machine actually working and the consequences of that and, most importantly, what would that mean for this current life? “Yes, I could be young again but was ‘being young really great”? —

There were your ‘primary school years, that, ‘led to’, your secondary school years that would determine your future, perhaps, with homework, exams, school bullying and those adolescent years with spots/acne and(“for me”!) horrible and disruptive bus journeys to and from school, in, sometimes, horrendous weather conditions, and then we also had poverty and second hand school uniforms, incorrect educational books, prejudices and no school trips/‘lack of inclusion’! 

         “Did I really want to return to that and leave behind what I had in ‘this life”? I was happily married and we had a baby Son, who has grown up into a hardworking and successful young man, we all live in a house with another loved addition- ‘a puppy dog’ and I wouldn’t be legally allowed to drink any alcohol(‘which was a shame because there were 4 pubs in our little town and ‘no other’ places of entertainment! I must admit that the idea of returning and leaving ‘all that I had and achieved’ behind was emotionally upsetting and I reluctantly decided that I wouldn’t go- ‘if only’ I’d have thought about the consequences before or during the building of this Time Machine- I didn’t want to go now but I could hear my wife gleefully say “see, I told you that it was a waste of time and money and just think about the things that you could have done and the items that we could have bought instead- “There’s a pile of ironing that needs doing, the carpet needs hoovering, there’s the recycling to sort out and we could have bought a new television and replaced the bathroom carpet”……………….. “perhaps I will use this Time Machine ‘after all”!