CHANGE?

Kathleen reentered God’s grace coffee shop the second time that morning and breathed in the scent of different flavors of coffees and other flavored drinks and baked goods sighing as she did so. She had opened the shop earlier and mixed the batter leaving the baking and arranging to her younger sisters since she had an urgent business at the bank that morning. God’s grace coffee shop had just introduced a new line of making drinks according to seasons. Since they were in the season of fall and pumpkin, apple and caramel were in abundance, the drinks on ground aside from the constant coffee were pumpkin javiva, salted caramel mocha latte, creamy mocha hot chocolate, iced pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin chai latte, coffee bean pumpkin latte, apple cider, dark chocolate pumpkin mocha and other pumpkin smoothies. 

About thirty minutes after she arrived, the bells started ringing indicating customers and so she and her sisters got busy serving and packaging orders to customers- both long time customers and new customers. Of all her patrons, there was this particular man that has been coming into her shop every day since the first day she opened the shop and he always ordered the same thing. The first day he came in he introduced himself as Mr. Terrance and that was the only thing they knew about him. He had an air of mystery around him and nobody knew anything about him aside from his name since he did not interact with any other person, just came in, sat down in a particular booth, ordered coffee and muffins, ate, paid, politely said thanks and left but since he was a paying customer and not necessarily disturbing anybody, Kathleen left him alone.

Since there were three of them managing the shop each person took thirty minutes for lunch everyday so that there were still two people in the shop and that has worked well for them since she opened the shop about one and a half years ago. She had always had this dream of owning a coffee shop where she bakes since that was her passion and her mom did everything possible to help her realize this dream. By taking her to different coffee shops, diners, bakeries and putting money down in a trust fund for her first building though she did not live long to see the coffee shop succeeding. Her mom had died of cancer two years ago and since their dad left immediately the last girl was born claiming he did not have enough to take care of them, the job of taking care of her siblings fell on her shoulder since she was already 23 years. Her two siblings, Jenna and Karen were 21 and 19 each so she still had to struggle to get money to pay tuition for college and taxes so three of them had no choice but to open the coffee shop at that time and bank on it bringing income and her two sisters had to transfer to colleges close to home so they would be able to help out at the shop instead of having to hire waitresses. It was an act of God that Kathleen had finished college at that time and she had money saved apart from the one her mom put in a trust fund for her that gave them the boost they needed for the shop.

There was something different about today regarding Mr. Terrance. Aside from the fact that he did not leave immediately after eating as he normally does, he kept staring at her and when she stared back he held her stare and if she were to go with her gut, she will say that he was apologizing to her without words but of course that doesn’t make sense since she doesn’t know him well. Aside from the fact that he was staring at her it looked like he was scared of something. His fear was so obvious that she had to go and ask him if everything was alright but he told her everything was alright and since she had to work, she had to leave it at that. She felt that he was in trouble and that maybe someone was waiting for him outside that he did not want to meet and so he was hiding inside but she could not do anything about that since she had no proof of that. 

Normally, she takes her lunch break in the shop and eat there in case the rush hour becomes too much for her sisters and so she was in the shop during her lunch break. It seemed as if Mr. Terrance was waiting for her to finish eating because immediately she finished eating he came to sit down on the chair opposite her. That was the first spark inside her that seemed certain that there was a problem and that she had something to do with it. She concluded that he expected her to speak first since all he was doing was staring- not at her but as if he was being taken into the past so she greeted him to draw him out.

Good afternoon sir, how are you doing today? She greeted warmly.

Good afternoon Kathleen, I’m fine thank you. What of you?

Kathleen wanted the chit chat to be over so he would tell her what he wanted to tell her fast because she was already nervous. I’m doing good sir, she answered. If you don’t mind sir, my break will soon be over and I doubt you’ve been waiting all this while to ask me how I am, she concluded.

You are right, I have something important to tell you. 

Kathleen wanted to shout ‘get on with it’ but she schooled her face into one of mild curiosity and nodded for him to continue. 

Just know that I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you and I will understand if you never want to see me again, he said. He took a deep breath and said’ I am your father’.

It felt as if water was roaring in Kathleen’s ear and she knew that she had gone white but she had no idea what to say after that revelation. She wanted to affirm his earlier statement that yes, she could not forgive him because of the pain he had caused her mother and she and her sisters but she knew that it wasn’t the right thing to say so she kept quiet. The next thing that came to her mind was to throw him out of her shop but she was calm enough to know that would cause a scene she had no interest in causing so she did not. She looked at the man who called himself her father and what she could remember was the suffering her mother went through being a single mom to three children. She remembered her mom doing odd jobs to put food on the table, selling lots of things that meant a lot to her just to pay bills and put a roof on their heads. She did not even want to think about all they suffered because her mother insisted that all her children were going to be educated and will not have to rely on a man that could break them and leave them penniless. 

She looked across the table at him and asked the question she had always wanted to ask Him-Why?

She did not realize that tears were running down her face until Karen and Jenna came to ask her what was wrong. That was when she knew that the discussion would have to wait until they were in a private place where they could rant and rave at him all they wanted. She looked around her and saw that the shop was empty so she decided to close early because she knew her sisters needed to know what was happening and they all needed to talk it out of their system and get the answers they needed from him.