Plane Ride 101

How can I convince my friend, that she will be alright; when I too am terrified of flying? Our foolish husbands jump on and off flights like it is second nature. If I had a dollar for every time I heard “tis safer up there than driving on 295!”. Maybe but, I saw a plane crash in a field on 9/11/01. I quiver, when I think of the first-time flyers on that flight. Although I was just driving up the road towards the crash site, when the aircraft narrowly missed my roof. I immediately dialed 911. The line was busy for over three hours. I tried every 10 minutes for an hour, until I saw the news reporting the attack on the twin towers. Someone drove to the military base near the original crash site that I witnessed.

I went to work not knowing what I had just seen was part of a sinister plan to commit suicidal attacks.

On September 11, 2001, 19 militants associated with the Islamic extremist group al Qaeda hijacked four airplanes and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, just outside Washington, D.C., and the fourth plane crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Almost 3,000 people were killed during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which triggered major U.S. initiatives to combat terrorism and defined the presidency of George W. Bush.

Usually our town may see an occasional farming accident or a car wreck. Although, no one survived the crash to be treated in our hospital, we had a run of people who had anxiety attacks.

Every year since that day we honor the loss of three thousand innocent souls. People who just wanted to go from point “A” to point “B”, just like we do right now. Hopefully my fear is unwarranted! A vacation to the Bahamas sounded good when he said he would book a cruise; my fear of flying outweighs my fear of a watery death.

My theory is that we shouldn’t both be on the same flight so, I secretly changed my travel mode to a later date and I know that he’ll be furious but my fear is real. We have young children who will need a parent after vacation. Am I being ridiculous, maybe? Please do understand my fear, it’s not just all in my mind. I have been a nurse for 35 years and I have been beside at least four doctors when they informed families of their love one’s sudden death involving an airplane. Most were single engine planes being piloted by rookies. Nonetheless, one plane crash is enough, to witness or to survive. My husband knows I was in the military but he didn’t know I was a nurse on “Project Angel Flight” we airlifted soldiers from the military hospital back stateside. Often when the enemy realized what our plane did, they’d view us as terrorist and attempt to shoot us down. Several times we were hit and had to put down outside the war zone in order to do repairs before continuing. Each time we sat down we struggled to take off again. Although, commercial flights are different I still would rather just do a staycation. Stay on the ground, stay close to home and the kids.

When I began writing this I was trying to convince myself that I was just being crazy. I just looked up to see what time it was and I noticed its 9/9/22 and I am supposed to be flying on Sunday.  9/11, hasn’t bothered me before, I mean since 2001. The nation seemed to have recovered from that day with the capture of Osama Bin Laden. I never wanted to hurt my husband or our friends but I will not be stepping on a plane that day or any day this week. Donald Trump, refused to accept defeat and wound up his followers up so much with an insurection back in January that I truly think something will happen this weekend, especially since Mar a Lago was raided this week. I don’t want to see anyone else get arrested because of their loyalties to that comb-over fool.

“Suck it up girl, your family is waiting for you. Figure it out you can’t drive to the Bahamas. You’re 56, being scared is one thing; but being paralyzed is crippling! What have you told many patients before. Take your own advice. I understand what you have lived through but you LIVED! No, your husband didn’t know your story before booking the flight but you’re going to need to work it out, faster. You’re a believing Christian so you say on Sundays. So, this Sunday you have to prove it.” I know mom, I wish you were here instead of in my head.

Tossed and turned all night. Cried in the shower, prayed while getting dressed. White knuckled and needing a drink before we take off, I’m here. Yup, in seat fifteen over the wing in first class. I am doing what I need to in order to join my husband and friends. Hopefully, the sea sickness medicine will kick in before we take off. I’d love to sleep the whole way there. I don’t want to feel the turbulence of liftoff or landing.

I hear you, you’re wondering if I am this afraid of flying how was I an Angel Flight nurse for over 30 years? In flight I didn’t have time to think of myself or my fears. I was too busy helping to keep our patient stable, comfortable and alive. There were only five people on board those flights two pilots, the patient, the doctor and me. Most flights were uneventful, but then the ones when your patient start to go towards the light is interesting because the last thing you want is to lose someone in mid-flight.