Finding Apples

Alex had never felt more awkward in his whole life. 

The red of the apples hanging on the trees around him could not compare to the red coloring Alex’s usual pale skin. From his forehead to his nose to his ears, it was all tinged red at the sight of his former best friend.

Dean, the cause of Alex’s awkwardness, was smiling at ease as he talked to the little girl next to him, who Alex presumed to be his daughter, and was later proven correct when after the little girl ran off to pick the apples waiting for her, a woman went up to Dean and pressed her lips against his. She went off with her daughter right after, and Dean waved at them with a soft smile on his lips.

Alex, on the other hand, had lost his little brother. He couldn’t care less though, because he did not want to go pick apples because God knows how many spiders are hiding between the branches. But right now, picking apples was sounding really tempting to Alex, as he would rather not face his former best friend

The trunk Alex was hiding behind (spiders don’t matter in times like this) was proving itself to be a very proficient hiding spot, as Dean hadn’t noticed him yet. When his former best friend turned the other direction, holding a phone by his ear, Alex decided to try to walk towards the apple trees and find his brother (and run away while he was at it). It was while he was making the effort to find his brother that Dean whipped his head around and saw Alex.

They were both frozen in place, eyes wide as they stared at each other. 

“Alex?” Dean asked, unsure if his former best friend was actually standing there, alive and well.

Alex’s eyes looked around, watching the people chattering amongst each other while picking the apples in envy, before finally landing on Dean.

“Uh, yeah. Hi,” Alex said, awkwardly, hands playing with each other.

Dean nodded before asking softly, “How have you been?”

Alex responded, “Great.”

Then, silence. 

Alex wanted to dig a hole and live there forever, and maybe take his little brother with him because his little brother just had to want to come apple pick on that exact day. 

Dean placed his phone back in his pocket before pointing towards the trees with red apples hanging off the skinny branches. “Wanna go pick some apples?” he asked, with the same crooked smile Alex remembered from over ten years ago. Alex was hesitant in agreeing, but he agreed anyway, with hopes of finding his brother and running all the way to Canada with him.

They walked through one of the aisles of apple trees, and while it may have been a little awkward in the beginning, conversation started to flow freely between the two of them. It flowed so well that Alex began to wonder why he was so scared of seeing Dean again, even after promising him years ago that they would see each other again.

It was while they were talking, that all the memories from Alex’s childhood flooded back.

 --

The stars were so bright the same night Alex felt so dark. HIs cheeks were stained with dried tears, and his entire body was soaked from the rain. He curled up in a ball on the grass field next to the river, muttering to himself as the loud voice of his best friend lingered in his head.

He hated fighting, especially with someone as close as Dean was. This was about the fifth time they fought that week, about the same thing; Dean bailing on Alex whenever they made plans together.

Alex was not as hurt by the fact that Dean bailed on him as he was at the fact that he did it five times in the past week. And the fact that Dean kicked him out of the car in the pouring rain just because Alex was mad at him for bailing again, and leaving him outside of the movie theatre in the rain.

He got that Dean had other friends, he knew that he was going to be lonely because Dean’s newer friends were just so much cooler than him. But he was so so frustrated at the fact that Dean would even bother making plans with him if he was never going to go through with it in the end. It made him angry, sad, and lonelier than ever.

It was a big red flag for him, but he still stuck by Dean’s side because he was so scared of being lonely that he didn’t matter if it felt painful to him.

But either way, Alex always ended up hugging his knees to his chest staring off into the river, lonely as ever.

Something different that night happened, though. 

After a few hours of staring off into the dark waters in front of him, he heard a familiar voice yelling his name from afar.

“Alex! Are you here?”

Alex’s eyes searched for the voice in the dark, not expecting to see his best friend looking everywhere frantically, clearly panicking. When Dean’s eyes finally landed on Alex, his eyes faded into relief and he ran towards his best friend before throwing his arms around the smaller boy.

“I’m so sorry, for bailing on you, and for leaving you out in the rain. I don’t know what I was thinking, and holy shit you’re so cold-” Dean took off his thick coat and threw it around his best friend, who was still staring at him in shock.

After finally putting his coat on Alex, Dean sat next to him and stared at the river with him.

Alex finally broke the silence with, “Why?”

Dean’s head whipped towards Alex, “What?”

“Why did you...you know...bail on me so many times?” asked Alex, looking down. Even though he knew he didn’t do anything, a small part of him couldn’t stop eating at the fact that it could’ve been his fault.

Dean sighed. “I don’t even know. I know it’s not an excuse, but I genuinely just forgot about our plans.”

His straight-to-the-point answer kind of hurt Alex, a stab piercing through his heart. Insecurities flooded through his mind again, telling Alex that he was too boring and too bothersome. 

Dean noticed Alex’s mood change, and immediately yelled out, “No! It isn’t your fault at all! I think it’s just-”

“We’re not the same anymore,” Alex admitted, sadly.

“Yeah.”

It was silent again, before Dean spoke up.

“Next week, I’m moving.”

“What?!?” Alex exclaimed, “Your parents love it here! What about your new friends? What about baseball-”

“My parents just got a new job, that’s all,” Dean replied, voice sounding smaller despite his big frame.

“Oh.”

“The reason I’m telling you this is not just because you’re my best friend, but it’s why I think I was avoiding you for a while. I know I said it was just me forgetting, but me moving definitely has something to do with this. I think losing you would be the hardest part of leaving, and the fact that I’m already starting to lose you and I haven’t even moved yet makes me feel so terrible.”

Alex swallowed before replying with, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Dean laughed, with no humor in his laugh.

It was going to be so touch staying in touch, Alex knew. Dean was terrible at checking his messages, and he hated calls and FaceTime. So, Alex knew, like how Dean knew, that they would never be best friends after Dean left.

“If we, you know, ever get out of touch, I think we can still find each other again,” Alex declared, fake confidence leaking in his voice.

Dean looked at him, with confusion clear on his face. 

“Whether it be running into each other in a mall, or some random ass thing like apple picking, I think we can do it.”

Dean blinked.

Alex blushed furiously as he stuck his pinky out, “I promise you we will find each other again. I have no doubt about that.”

A few moments of silence passed, and Alex was about to put his pinky away in embarrassment, when a long pinky went and curled around his own small one.

“Okay, you got yourself a deal, Mr. Alex.”

--

And they did find each other again. Laughter filled the air as red apples filled the bucket Dean was holding, and Alex wasn’t lonely again.

After all, he was surrounded by apples.