Vivamus

Azzie trudged over fallen rubble and debris. Rain pattered against the dilapidated shell of the antiquated space. Thunder rumbled overhead as rainwater dripped from the brim of her hoodie. Gravel crunched beneath the soles of her combat boots. She kept her hands in the pockets of her rain jacket. She passed through the double doors leading to the main foyer and winced as one of the doors fell off its rusted hinge. The sound echoed in the emptiness as a plum of dust shot off the ground. Azzie stepped over the door and peered up the staircase. She circled around the post of the bannister, grimacing at the peeling polish. This place used to be so lively and cared for. She turned towards Lucifer with a nod. “Hey.” 

Lucifer scoffed, staring straight through her with clouded, steel-blue eyes. He sat halfway up the staircase, reclined back on his elbows. His bronze hair stuck to his forehead, drenched and stringy. “What are you doing here?” His voice sounded scratchy. 

Azzie couldn’t decide if it was from a lack of use or overuse. She hummed. Her gaze drifted from the tarnished walls, to the water damage on the ceiling. At the top of the staircase, water dripped and splattered against the wood flooring, a steady drip, drip, drip amidst the relative quiet. “I could ask you the same thing.” Her eyes lingered on the graffiti on the far wall, some geometric pattern in navy blue, bright pink, and red. 

Lucifer leaned his elbows on his knees and wrung his hands together. “I don't fucking know. I just started walking and boom, I ended up here. I don’t even know where here is.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“Nothing here is familiar. I don’t know any of it.” 

Azzie nodded, conceding. “But, you still came here. Muscle memory is not so easily forgotten.” 

“Alright, genius. Why don’t you tell me why I’m here since you have all the answers.” 

Azzie spun on her heel. She closed her eyes. The paint no longer peeled. The lights worked, casting soft, warm glows in each of the rooms. The floors lacked debris, swept clean. The enticing smell of beef stew wafted in from the kitchen on the left, just through the entryway. She smiled to herself. “We grew up here.”

Lucifer made a sound behind her, something between a sigh and a scoff. 

“Niklai raised the five of us here in isolation, well, as isolated as he could get without jumping off the grid,” Azzie continued, “We used to sit, right where you are, on bad days, when the Cleaners came and took us away, one by one.” She opened her eyes. The smile slipped from her face. The smell of paprika and rosemary faded, replaced by rot and cement. The memory crumbled away like sand. She looked towards the kitchen entry and found part of the wooden frame missing. “And then there were two. We didn’t stay here, but at least, we stayed together.” She took her hands out of her pockets and forced her fists to unclench and slacken. She forced a slow breath out and rolled her shoulders. 

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here at all.” 

Azzie sighed. She sent him a baleful look over her shoulder. “Twin intuition.”

“‘Twin intuition’,” he mocked. “Yeah right, because you with black hair and me having brown hair screams twins.”

“Box dye, if you must know. Anyway, I’m here because I knew you’d be here.”

Lucifer snorted. “I didn’t even know I’d be here.” 

“Doesn’t matter. Here we are.” 

“You’re chasing a ghost, you know. I don’t remember anything.”

“You still came here.” 

Lucifer clicked his tongue at her. “Muscle memory is not going to bring him back. It’ll be better for both of us if you just accept that I’m nothing more than an empty shell of who he used to be.” 

“Don’t be so dramatic. You are him. They took your memories away, not your identity.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t know anything about you except that we’re related, and that I didn’t even know until someone told me.” 

Azzie faced him. She grinned, toothy and wide. Her grin widened when he rolled his eyes. “Good enough for me.” The thunder above sounded closer than before, though still barely louder than the dripping water. 

Lucifer muttered something under his breath. 

“I know you can speak louder than that,” she mused. Lucifer threw a rock at her head. She dodged with a chuckle and held her hands up in surrender. 

Lucifer settled back against the staircase and exhaled sharply. “You don’t know what it’s like to be haunted by things you can’t even name, people you know but can’t remember. Half the shit I do, I don’t even know why I do it.” His eyes closed. “I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.” He limply gestured to the space around them. “I can’t tell you a single thing that happened within these walls, where we apparently grew up. But you, you’re a whole well full of memories. You should take those memories and leave. They’ll do you more good than I will.” 

Azzie moved up the staircase. Her boots thumped against the wood planks in a steady rhythm. “I’ve told you before. You, alive, are worth tenfold what those memories can do for me.” Her fingers twitched as she loomed over him. His eyes opened and landed on her. “The Gods brought you back to me and I will not waste their mercy.” She bent down and leaned into his space. His gaze held an emptiness she had never seen in them. She tilted her head. “They called us Titans. Our path is paved with the bones of monsters who came before.” She placed her hand between them, palm up like an offering. 

Lucifer’s gaze flicked down to her hand before meeting her eyes once more. “Titans,” he murmured, as if testing the title for himself.

“We’re going to be different, because we’re not going to play their games. If you’re out, you’re out and you’ll never hear from me again if that’s what you want.” Azzie searched his gaze. “If you’re in, we’ll start over. New memories, new promises, new everything. I lost you once, never again.” The nerves coursing through her veins wracked her hand with fine tremors. She had done her part and made her offer. It all hinged on him now. With the air charged between them, all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. 

Lucifer swallowed. He exhaled, and his eyes crackled with a familiar spark, a flicker of a burning desire. He licked his lips and brushed a hand through his damp hair, pushing it away from his forehead. He cleared his throat. “Restart?”

“Restart,” Azzie promised. She found the gleam in his blue eyes so achingly recognizable and different all at once. This was her twin, she knew it without a doubt. Whatever they did to him, they couldn’t undo all of him.

Lucifer took her hand in his. Outside, the first bolt of lightning split across the sky.