Fucked

           The year is 142857 ACE (After the Common Era). Human beings predicted this day would come, but we always projected it into the future. 142857 ACE. See, stars have stages: there's “Giant Gas Cloud, Protostar, Tauri Phase, Main Sequence, Deterioration, Black Hole”. The thing is Earth's sun is on the crux of deterioration and black hole, which means we're all fucked. The scientists at JGCF (contemperary NASA) predict everything and everyone will die within two minutes of the Sun becoming a black hole. Two minutes is the optimist's prediction. Fuck. The panickers always swarm the shelves at the grocery store for the things everyone thinks will help. In hurricaines, everyone gets all the water and batteries, in Earthquakes, everyone buys all the mini-generators, etc. People are idiots. So, everyone is purchasing heating systems, thermal blankets, regular blankets, layers of clothing, but it won't do anything. It's like putting ice on a third-degree burn. Scientists considered migrating to another solar system with a star and a planet that could sustain life, but their efforts were fruitless. They found plenty of galaxies but none with water or the proper temperatures for agriculture. We're fucked. They even tried radioing SOS to see if some unknown Aliens could help but received nothing in return. We're fucked. Think: All literature, all technology, all computers, everything man and beast has accomplished will be gone in two minutes. Two fucking minutes. People swarmed churches of every denomination: Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Spiritualist, Zoroastrianist, everything, but as Led Zepplin said, “Crying won't help you. Praying won't do you no good”. The black hole is our levee. We're fucked.   

           I turn on the tube, because why not? In a matter of months Earth will freeze over. It's all bullshit; the tv, not the ice. The President of the BME (modern USA) says not to panic. “Do not panic.” They're having their top scientists working 24/7 to come up with a plan, but it's bullshit. They don't have a plan. The tube says top leaders are working on a plan and developing emergency shelters with insulation” but it doesn't matter. We're all fucked. Insulation won't keep us warm long. What? We'll get six minutes instead of two minutes? Great. We're fucked. Some other idiot scientist says the core of the earth is lava and if we can dig a hole deep in the Earth, maybe we can live in the lava once Earth freezes over. Yea, right. That'll happen when Hell freezes over. Idiots. Someone says it might be better over the equator. The only reason the equator is hot, you fucking morons, is because there's more sun there. If the sun is a black hole, the equator will be just as cold as the fucking poles. It won't matter. This must be Fox News Network, the one without the brains. “Maybe us earthlings should build huge bonfires. Or we could start Hell Fires with gasoline, everywhere right before the big black hole”. That'll give us, what? Thirty seconds more? Idiots. We're fucked. Fucked, fucked, fucked. We're fucked. So, I decide to shut off the TV and go into an old fashioned meditation. See, during meditation, if we do it right, we can feel like we've escaped into another Universe. Talented meditators have OOBEs or NDEs. But the bastards who guide the meditation always make us come back to Earth when it's done, so we can get back to our responsibilities like driving to work, working, parenting, taking care of our kids, etc., but now, we're fucked. We're totally fucked. So, I do something I always wanted to do. I turn on a meditation via the web (yes, we still have internet) and the woman's voice says to relax my feet, relax my legs, and it guides me up my body and I feel relaxed, even though we're fucked and I hear soft music and it feels nice. Then, after thirty minutes of being in OOBE, the voice says, “And now . ..” and I push pause. I know she's going to say it's time to come back and to wiggle my toes, etc. But, we're fucked. The world is fucked. Planet Earth is fucked and I used to be an alcholic, but I've been sober for 12 years, but we're fucked. So, I stay in the meditation and I look for my silver cord so I can sever it, but I can't find it. I feel at peace, though, and stay in my imagination or the Spirit World, or wherever I am where there isn't trouble. Then, I see this light. A beautiful white light. White can't explain it, but that's the closest I can come and it's fucking beautiful and I walk towards it. It feels like the antithesis of fear. Like love, compassion, forgiveness, nirvana, pink, green, violet. I feel myself levitating towards it like I don't have to walk anymore. I can apport to anywhere and from anywhere. I can transfigurate, ectoplasm, I can do anything and I don't feel fucked like I did on Earth. I am at peace, calm, relaxed. It's like having a past-life regression without coming back. Then, I see my grandparents who passed away years ago. I see my dogs I loved. I see my aunts and uncles and I realize I'm dead. But, I died on my own terms with a video, instead of being frozen in 120 seconds. This is what all these people are afraid of? Feeling love and seeing the loved ones they thought they lossed? I can see the people on Earth still and there are two woman arguing with each other both trying to buy a radiator. Fucking idiots. And I see a TV explaining the Sun turning into a black hole is false news and to do nothing. Fucking idiots. But, I feel better on this side so maybe they will, too. Or maybe they'll think they didn't die and keep panicking and be annoying ghosts. Maybe. 

*

           It happens: the sun turns into a black hole. It takes a minute and nineteen seconds and everyone's here; in the Spirit world. Some of them go into the white light and some of them don't. Some of them are glad they're here and some of them think here is still Earth. 

           Then, I see it. The “Black Hole Sun” sucks in the planets one by one. Mercury, Venus, etc. But, black holes effect the illusion of time, space, and matter. They're weird. So, we find ourselvess alive again but in 45 BCE. Dinosaurs. Bad news. If there are dinosaurs that means the meteor will arrive in a few years and kill the dinosaurs off, if the scientists were right. We're still fucked. So, I start the meditation, but there's no more device, so I do my best to guide myself through the meditation, but I make a mistake and wind up between the two worlds as an earth-bound Spirit. Not good. I'm fucked. We're fucked.  I look for the white light and find a black light, so I enter it. People think black is an evil color, but it's not. White is yang, Black is yin, Brown is grounding. I enter the black light and it's a warp, but I don't know what kind of warp. I'm fucked.