Not my story

Have you ever been in a situation where you are hurt but can't show or tell anyone? When you are crying from inside but have to plaster a smile on your face? When you have to tell everyone that the tears in your eyes are because you are laughing hard and not because you are hurting?

Well, I am always in that situation. I have been in this situation from a few months now.

Being in love with your best friend who happens to be in love with your cousin does all the work.

“Okay, we should go. Seth is waiting for us.” Joshua said and started the engine. He looked at me in the rear mirror with his chocolate brown eyes. The eyes I have been in love with since I was a child.

“Oh Seth is going to join us?” I asked raising my eye brows at him and he nodded his head with a smile. The smile that makes me smile.

“So, I am going to meet him?” Grace asked with a frown. She has blue eyes while I have green ones. She has straight blonde hair where as I have brown wavy hair.

Grace is my cousin sister, who happens to be Joshua’s girlfriend.

She was going to meet Seth for the first time. Seth and Joshua are brothers, Seth is in college while working part time job as a bartender.

Joshua, me and Grace are in our senior year, few months and we will finish our graduation.

“Yes, don’t worry. He will like you.” Joshua said to Grace with a smile as he slide his hand in hers.

I took a sharp breath as I sunk in my seat. I know they both love each other, but still it hurts.

It all started when Grace shifted to California from Texas. Her parents are taking divorce so, my father suggested that she could stay with us for a few months.

I have spend my whole life with Joshua and loved him throughout. But I never told him about my feeling because I knew he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.

I have practically saw them falling in love with each other. After all I was the reason they met and got each other in there lives.

I cannot forget the day they both told me about their feeling. It was the worst day of my life.

“What is it guys?” I asked them with a frown as Joshua and Grace sat across me on the sofa with a nervous look on their faces.

“We want to tell you something.” Grace said softly to which I nodded in encouragement.

“Okay, I will get to the point straight.” Joshua said and Grace nodded at him in approval.

I was growing confused, I just nodded at him again.

“We both love each other and we are dating.” He said and I froze. Wow. The guy I loved my 17 years of life loves my cousin who just met him a year ago. The sister who is so close to me loves my best friend.

“Since when?” I asked trying to keep my face emotionless.

“About a month or so.” Grace whispered with a sad face.

Right. How can I not guess. The long stares, flirty comments, blush, laughs. Wow. How dumb was I to not notice.

“Say something, Hales.” Joshua said desperately, his leg bouncing up and down. The thing he does when he is nervous. I tried to control my feeling and gave a weak smile.

“Why are you crying, Hailey?” Grace said with a panic in her voice.

“I am not crying, just ... I am happy for you.” I said with a weak smile as I brushed my tears away.

“Oh God I was so nervous. Thank you, thank you.” She said and hugged me.

Grace is a nice girl. I was not mad at her, I couldn’t be. She is my sister.

“Thank you Hales. I thought you were going to be mad.” Joshua said and hugged me. I took I his sent and hugged him tight.

Oh god! Why does this happed to me?! My life!

“We are here.” Joshua said and I was pulled out of my thoughts. I got out of the car and saw the house I have know like my house.

“Let’s go.” Joshua said as he held Grace’s hand while leading her inside. I gulped my emotions and followed them with a fake small smile.

As soon as we got inside Joshua called Seth, Grace was standing beside him biting her lips nervously while I made myself comfortable on the sofa.

Seth came down from his room with his signature blank face. He has grey eyes and black hair. Seth and Joshua doesn’t look like brothers except their similar hair colour. Seth is a carbon copy of their dad while Joshua seems to have his mom’s and dad’s features.

“Seth, this is Grace my girlfriend and Grace, this is Seth my brother.” Joshua introduced them and my heart broke I pieces when he said the word ‘girlfriend’.

Seth raised his eye brows while he glanced at me before he held his hand out for a handshake.

“Hello.” Grace said with a smile as he shook their hands and Seth gave her a nod and a small smile.

It was a few minutes of awkward silence before I decided to break it.

“Okay guys, let’s go to the pool. Me and Grace will bring us some snacks from the kitchen, yeah.” I said and without waiting for their response, I dragged Grace in the kitchen.

I heard Joshua chuckling while they both moved towards the swimming pool. As I knew this house very well, I took out some snacks from the cabinets in the kitchen while Grace was standing nervously looking at her shoes.

“I don’t think Seth liked me.” She whispered biting her lips. I looked at her with a small smile. She cares too much.

“Its not that. He just doesn’t open up very quickly, he is not too good at socializing. Give him some time, he will come around.” I assured her. No matter how much I hated the idea of her and Joshua’s, she is my sister.

“Okay, if you say so.” She said with a small smile and hugged me.

We both changed in our swimming suits and went to the pool with some snacks and drinks. We had some fun swimming and chatting with each other.

After an hour or so, I got tired and came out of the pool. Wearing a cover up, I sat leaning against a wall.

“Oh my god! Josh!” I heard Grace’s voice while she giggled and Joshua laughed as they played in the pool.

It was hurting so bad to see the person you love, holding so much love an adoration in his eyes for someone else. I sighed sadly as I gulped beer.

I felt someone sat next to me and without glancing I new who it was. Seth.

“To say I am shocked, will be an understatement.” He said while drinking his beer. Both of our eyes were on the couple who were playing with each other in the pool. Their laughs and giggles filled the air.

“What are you shocked about?” I asked him and waited for him answer.

“That he is with someone who isn’t you.” He said and I looked at him raising my brown at him.

“Well, from the childhood everyone has though that you two will end up together considering how close you are.” He explained with a shrug.

“And also that you love my brother.” He said which made me shocked. He smirked looked at my reaction. No one knew about my feelings for Joshua, I never told anyone.

“How do you know?” I asked him with a confused frown on my face.

“Its kind of hard to miss. And since I am a good observer, it wasn’t that hard.” He said with a sad smile on his face.

I saw the couple in front of me with smile on there faces. There was music playing in the background so I knew they weren’t able to hear us from where we were sitting.

“I don’t know what to do. It just hurts so much. But I can’t even seem to do anything. I practically saw them fall in love with each other, Seth. I saw the guy I love fall in love with my only cousin right in front of me.” I said looking at him.

He looked at me with a sad frown while I tell him the things I never voiced out. I don’t even know why I was telling this to Seth, but I wanted to let it out.

“They practically had a beautiful love story and who was I in their story? Just a girl through whom they met? A side character.” I said as tears well up in my eyes.

“Hailey, you need to let him go.” He whispered softly as he held my hand in his, giving me a firm squeeze.

“I can’t, Seth. I have tried. I am trying. It just doesn’t work. I have so many memories with him, so many things. I can’t just forget everything, cant forget my feelings.” I whisper-yelled.

“You don’t have to forget anything. You just have to convince yourself that you and Joshua are not meant to be and get over your feeling.” He said, it was strange to see Seth saying things like that. He doesn’t really open up easily. But it was good, to see him like that.

“Why am I side character in Joshua’s story, Seth? Why am I not with him as his girlfriend, someone he loves?” I asked him not sure to get answers.

“Because Hailey, you have your own story. And in your story, Joshua is not the one for you. You will find someone who will love you and that will be your story where you won’t be a side character.” He explained me while giving my hand another squeeze.

I looked at Joshua and Grace, they both are in love with each other. I need to move on. I have my own story, even if I am a side character in their story.

“I guess you are right. It will just be hard to get rid of these feeling I have for him since so many years.” I said while I gazed at Joshua and Grace while they were kissing each other, ripping my heart into pieces all over again.

“Well, if you would like I can help you. I can help you get rid of those feeling and focus on your story.” He said with a glint in his eyes and a mischievous smirk on his lips.

My eyes widened at his comment, I was speechless. Did he just flirted with me? And did it actually made me blush?

He chuckled when he saw my blush and took a sip of his beer while still keeping his eyes locked with mine.

Well I guess, maybe ... I can have my own story where I won’t be a side character.