Pink Sunglasses

It had been a horrible day. TV programming wasn't cutting it. The whiskey didn’t take the edge off either, but I reached for the glass anyway.

I was slightly calmed as I swirled the amber liquid inside, and inhaled notes of oak and bourbon. I lifted it to my lips about to down the last of it when I noticed two small black specks.

My vision was blurry, the effects from crying and drinking half a fifth. I squinted, and sure enough, two fruit flies floated on top. Death by drowning.

“GOD DAMMIT!”

Screaming, I stood and threw my glass. The blue velvet swivel rocker I had inherited came up off its pedestal behind me, hitting the floor at the same instant the glass hit and shattered my TV screen. 

I stood there with balled fists, as tears ran down my blushed cheeks. I was full of shame, guilt, and anger. All I could do was stare at the broken glass and watch the magenta, green, blue, black, and white colors stretch across the screen like spilled milk. 

Of course, the only expensive thing I own and I broke that too.

 All I wanted to do was go to bed and hide away. I shuffled my pink slippers across the tan carpeting. Brown stains left from the mud my son had tracked in years ago, and a faint chartreuse semicircle from where the dog had puked, neither of which I could lift, caught my eye. 

Yep, no money for new carpet either. 

Just as I was about to unplug the TV, the lights flickered, and dimmed, a brown out. Then, an audible draining sound. Silence. Darkness.

Great. Now the fucking powers out in the middle of February. 

A glance at the green glow from my smartwatch revealed it was only twenty eight degrees outside.

************************************************************

   Blackness. The Blackness is so intrusive that it's really much more a darkness than a color. There is literally no light coming in. Is the darkness closing in on me ? Are the walls? Am I imagining this? I’m scared. I can't breathe. I’m getting really cold.

My thoughts raced. My heartbeat was rapid, thudding in my chest.

I seriously cant fucking breathe.

  I laid in bed under my modest covers shivering.

It’s so freaking cold. The temp in here is dropping so fast. Did I pay my bill? Why’s the power out?.. I’m heartbroken. We broke up….

Tears rolled down my cheeks and into my ears. I tried to swallow the painful lump in my throat. 

I can't live here on my income alone. I’m flat ass broke… Broken up… I’m… Broken. I’m never going to fall asleep. I miss him. I hate him. I love him. I have to pay the rent …My heart is beating sooo hard. I seriously cant fucking breathe, and I’m so cold…. I need another blanket.

Breathless and shivering, I managed to roll out of bed. Still drunk, I tripped over a pile of clothes. I pounded the floor with my hand.

“Dammit! WHY???”

I crawled across the room and used the wall for support to drag myself up and flipped the light switch with false hope that the power had come back on. Nothing.

I stumbled my way to the hall closet and retrieved a beloved blanket my grandma had made me. I couldn't see the rainbow granny squares that lay atop the black base in the dark, but it still gave me a sense of comfort while I wrapped myself in it.

Why is my heart pounding so hard? It's so fast. Should I call for help? Maybe I shouldn't stay here all night. NO. I doubt it, but If I’m dying I'll just let it happen… I don't care anymore. Someone will eventually find me… all alone. 

 I slid down the wall and passed out on the floor.

************************************************************

Suddenly, I was awakened and blinded by an intense yellow glow. I groaned and closed my eyes tightly, shielding my eyes with my arm, I slowly came to realize the power was back on. My head pounded, I was nauseous, but my heart’s rhythm felt normal. 

Well. Ok. There's that. I’m still alive. 

I checked my watch. 4:30 a.m. I rolled onto my side and was looking under the bed when I noticed my lost pair of pink sunglasses. 

How in the hell did they end up under there?

A spark of happiness caught me off guard at the sight of them, so I rolled over to retrieve them and put them on.

I probably look ridiculous laying here like this with these on, but fuck it!

I chuckled at the thought of myself. 

For some reason, these sunglasses always make me feel better. Maybe it’s the neon shade, or that I had a pair of these same kind when I was a kid. Whenever I wear them I am usually doing something fun. ...Something fun...I should do something fun today. I shouldn't sit here and mope all day. It’s going to be tough with this hangover. I need food and Tylenol. Thank God it's warming up in here… and apparently I did pay my bill… 

I kept the pink sunglasses on top of my head while I prepared myself a bowl of fruit loops and a tall glass of orange juice. As I sat eating it, I was reminded of my younger self, and I smirked. I was a pretty happy kid. What happened?

My attention to detail was sharper than I had expected after trying to drown my emotions with alcohol last night. I noticed the white frosting coating the orange, blue, yellow, and red rings.

 Maybe not the best nutrition, but I’m feeling a bit better, and motivated to shower. 

I made myself up, did my hair, and decided to take a few cheesy selfies with my pink sunglasses on. Smiling had actually made me feel a bit better too. I wasn't quite ready to see people yet, so I decided to take a walk alone. 

Gonna be a cold one, but I want to. I’ll walk the loop over at the lake.

 I slipped on my brown, black, and tan boots, zipped up my white parka, and made sure to grab my pink sunglasses, putting them on top of my head before locking the door behind me.

I was up so early I’ll get to watch the sunrise!

I put a little pep in my step.

I arrived at the lake breathless. Not because I was out of shape, not even because my head was still swimming a bit, but because the view was simply breathtaking. I looked overhead and turned in a circle while observing the royal blue sky overhead. 

The clouds were a wispy cotton candy pink, the texture resembling the actual treat itself as well as the color. Undertones of magenta and overtones of purple surrounded the outer ages as they quickly floated along with the east winds, drawing my eye to the sunrise itself.

The royal blue blended effortlessly into a ceylon blue, and then baby blue. As the clouds drew nearer the horizon, the pinks, magentas, and purples morphed into hunter orange, the ones closest to the rising sun, a sherbert orange.

A thin sheet of ice like lace covered the lake, and reflected the skies colors in slightly different hues. An ombre effect blended a deep purple, indigo, neon pink, neon orange, and coral.

Ripples that had been created by the wind had been captured, frozen in their dance in the freezing early morning hours. imprisoned air bubbles, were a pastel pink. I took out my phone and turned on the camera.

I’m so freaking cold. My hands are cramping up… But I don't care!  

I hit the record button. I wanted to keep this moment in time forever. I watched the sun in all its glory rise up above the horizon with such amazing grace. Here, the orange changed to yellow, becoming not only one shade, but fiery yellow, sunflower yellow, caution yellow, cornflower yellow, rising higher and higher, until it was fully crested in all of its glory.

 I couldn't tolerate the cold any longer. My hands were suddenly very hard to move and looked more like wax than skin. 

God God! I’m going to give myself frostbite! I really should buy some gloves.

 I shoved my phone in my coat pocket and warmed my hands there for a few minutes, taking in the last of the magic. It was only an instant for the hues of those magical moments to be engulfed and swallowed whole, by the intense bright light and become a much different view.

And a blinding one at that! 

I smiled, now humbled, and had a new sense of hope in my heart. I reached for my pink sunglasses, pulled them down over my eyes, and walked home.