Lost & Found

Stephanie pulled her car over to the side of the logging road and parked behind what she believed to be Kevin’s truck. Naturally, she’d espied the vehicle from afar—how could she not? It set her heart aflutter every time she saw it pull up in front of Bud’s Lumber, where she worked. Any time Kevin came into the hardware store to pick up whatever odds and ends for the construction outfit he worked for, Stephanie always tried to play it cool and act natural, but inside she was bursting with infatuation for the man. She hadn’t been able to stop dreaming about him for the past two weeks. These dreams were not, however, your typical inventions of infatuation.

Kevin’s nightly visits (hauntings?) began shortly after he’d pulled his little disappearing act. Ever since he went missing, Stephanie had dreamt of him every single night, and she wasn’t able to shake the feeling that what she was experiencing were not just ordinary dreams. The unshakability was reinforced absolutely as Stephanie confirmed the identity of Kevin’s old Ford. The faded black paint-job, the cracked mirror on the passenger side, the Metallica sticker on the rear window. This was the rig, alright. Stephanie pulled her phone from her back pocket with the intention of calling the police department, but she should have known: no reception all the way out here.

***

Stephanie had never driven this road before, but still she knew exactly where to go to get here. She knew because she’d dreamt about it just last night. It was the most vivid dream yet. In it, she was riding shotgun in Kevin’s Ford. Looking into the fractured rearview mirror, she could see dirty clouds pluming up from the gravel beneath the truck’s tires. Stephanie mostly kept her eyes on the cracked mirror throughout the drive, despite Kevin’s insistence from the driver’s seat for her to “Watch the road. I need to show you where to find me. I want you to join me, Steph.” She didn’t want to shift her view to look out the front windshield, because when she did, she could see him. She didn’t want to see him like this; it just wasn’t right. When she did look straight ahead through the front windshield at the road ahead, she could see Kevin out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned to focus her sight on him, something was off. It was like he drifted out of focus, any discernible features blurring away into ambiguity. “Don’t look at me, watch the road, you dork,” Kevin chuckled when Stephanie tried to look at the driver directly. All the while, her mind was scrambling uncontrollably in a strained attempt to make sense of Kevin’s obscured countenance.

***

“Why me?” Stephanie asked aloud as she walked from her car to Kevin’s truck. It was 6 PM in early August—still four hours from sunset—and although it was a comfortable 70 degrees in town, out here in the cool shade of the trees, Stephanie was crossing her arms to retain some warmth while she walked. As she approached the truck, knowing fully well that she was going to have to peer into the windows and see what she could see, Stephanie prayed that she would not find Kevin inside with a hole in his head. By now, the word around town was almost unanimously in line with the popular theory that Kevin must be out in the woods somewhere, dead by his own hand.

When Stephanie reached the old Ford, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then held it in as she forced herself to open her eyes back up again and look in through the windows. Once she confirmed that there was nobody inside the vehicle (alive or dead), she allowed her held breath to escape in a sigh of immense relief. 

“But where the hell are you?” she muttered wonderingly. This was, without a doubt, the single most oddly captivating game of hide-and-seek in which the 34-year-old divorcee had ever taken part. “You showed me the way to your truck, and I found it. Now where do I go from here?” Stephanie did not even consider the absurdity of her asking this aloud. Perhaps the true absurdity lies in the fact that she soon received a response: 

“This way. Come this way. I’m out here.” The voice that spoke sounded vaguely like Kevin’s. The unexplainable problem with it was that it was not coming from any discernible direction in particular. It sounded muffled and distant, but at the same time seemed immediate. She felt enveloped by the sound, as if it were broadcast in 360 degrees with her head at the center of this sonic sphere. Stephanie somehow knew that if there had been anybody else around, they would not have heard the voice. 

As perplexing as its laws were, the most pressing issue with the voice remained: “How am I supposed to know which way this way is?” Silence. Waiting for a response from a disembodied voice that she was positive only she could hear, Stephanie ran her fingers through her long auburn hair and heaved a deep breath of exasperation as she stood alongside Kevin’s Ford. Tears of anxiety began to well in her eyes. She closed her teary eyes, focusing on taking slow, deep breaths in her fight to remain calm. Still waiting for a response.

“Let me show you,” the voice finally spoke again. Stephanie’s eyes snapped open in response to this new utterance. “I’ll guide you. Just like they guided me. You just need to trust me.”

“What does that even mean? What is going on? Kevin, are you really out here? Kevin, are you alive? What the hell is this?” Stephanie loosed these questions in rapid-fire fashion while she turned to look all around her for anything that could possibly make sense of what was happening. Another extended period of silence.

“Kevin, if I leave, are you going to haunt me forever? I can’t do this anymore. I must be losing my damn mind.” I’m out of here, Stephanie continued internally. I at least need to get back to cell service to let the cops know I found his truck. How do I explain my knowing where to find it? She’d cross that bridge when she got to it. For the time being, she just really didn’t want to be where she was anymore—alone in the woods, miles outside of town, with no cellular reception and no protection against (ghosts?) whatever (whomever?) else might be out here.

She had just begun to walk back towards her car when Stephanie finally heard something, only it wasn’t a voice this time. What she heard made her stop dead in her tracks. It was a knocking sound—what seemed to be a very deliberate, resonant knock on a tree trunk, somewhere to her left. It sounded at least 50 yards away, but it somehow seemed to be meant for her ears. She stood rooted to the spot on the gravel road, in between Kevin’s truck and her car. She squinted her eyes and peered into the trees in the direction of the sound. A full minute passed before she heard it again, this time with just half the distance between her and its source. Her sudden compulsion to follow the sound into the woods and the horrifying thought of stumbling upon Kevin’s body out there made Stephanie remember the way he’d been the last couple of weeks—before his disappearing act.

***

The last time Kevin came into Bud’s was just days before he went missing. It was an innocuous Thursday afternoon in mid-July, with an overcast sky diffusing the bright light of the sun through its uniform filter of blankety moisture. As Kevin approached the door to the hardware store, however, Stephanie could see that he was having one of his raincloud days.

“Well, hello there, lady,” spoke Kevin as he entered, wearing a grin that did not quite reach his eyes. He was hoping she wouldn’t be able to tell, but of course she did. After all, she was not just another clueless man at the construction site; she was a woman—a perceptive woman who had cut her teeth on a failed marriage to an unhappy man who was in many ways not like Kevin at all, but then again was an unhappy man, which Kevin so clearly was as well, in spite of his efforts to suppress and conceal the fact. 

“Howdy, stranger,” Stephanie offered flirtatiously. “What can I do ya for?” 

Kevin put his hand to his chest, feigning being taken aback and retorted, “Why, that language sure is awful forward of you, miss. In fact, I think I’d like to have a word with your manager.”

“Sure, okay, Karen,” she clapped back with a roll of the eyes. “Seriously, though: what are you in the market for today?” She gave Kevin a warm smile. She was hoping it might be the day that he was finally in the market for a date, but was also hoping that she wasn’t making it too obvious.

“Oh, I don’t know… A reset on life?” Kevin offered with a shoulder shrug. 

“Is that all?” Stephanie asked. Not exactly the response she’d hoped for. “We’ve actually got this old machine in the back that’ll do just the thing, if you’d like.”

“Is that right?” Kevin asked with a sarcasm-laden wide-eyed expression of mock-surprise. 

“Yep! And for a limited time only, our special service can change your life for just the easy-peasy one-time payment of your eternal soul!”

“Wow, you sure do drive a hard bargain, Steph. Anyway, all I really need is a few light bulbs for the old homestead. My bathroom has been half-lit for the last month or so, and just this morning, it dropped down to one-fourth, so I figured it was time I replaced the damn bulbs before I was peein’ strictly in the dark, you know. Not safe.”

“Sure, sure,” Stephanie responded in a lackadaisical tone. She could see Kevin’s eyes darting around and wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was heading. “Is that all?”

After a few moments he said, “Not exactly.” Something was weighing on him, and Stephanie was fairly confident it was something more than the desire for a date with the lady from the hardware store. 

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I guess I also thought it might just be nice to see you. The truth is I haven’t been doing too well as of late.” 

So he confesses! Stephanie thought to herself. She was oddly excited yet thrown off by this hardened man’s opening up to her. She meant to express compassion, but her unyielding nervous impulse only conjured the response, “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.” She immediately regretted her insensitivity, and half-expected Kevin to turn his ass around and walk out the door right then and there. Much to her relief, he didn’t.

“That obvious, huh?” he asked with a sigh, seemingly unoffended by the sarcastic remark. Stephanie nodded assent. 

“I read it on your face like a damn book the second you walked in, actually.” 

“Well, shit,” he laughed. 

“So what is it, Kevin? Really, what’s eatin’ ya?”

***

Stephanie’s reverie was suddenly broken by a third knock that assaulted her ears like a gunshot. This time, its source could not have been more than ten feet away from where she stood. Indulging a compulsion she did not understand yet also did not question, Stephanie took her first steps off of the gravel road, moving towards the tree line and into the forest, following the sound of the booming knocks.

***

“I don’t know, Steph,” Kevin began, leaning into the checkout counter behind which Stephanie was standing. “I guess I’m just feeling a little mixed-up—out of place, if you get my meaning.” 

“Believe me, Kev,” Stephanie said, “growing up in this hick town—no offense—as the token ‘artsy girl,’ I definitely know the feeling. I mean, people always looked at me like a leper just because I was reading a damn book.” There was an awkward lull in the conversation, before Stephanie broke back in: “I’m sorry, Kevin; I didn’t mean to make this about me. Seriously, though. What’s makin’ you feel this way?”

***

Following the tree knocks, Stephanie was gradually led deeper and deeper into the forest. Of all the thoughts racing through her mind, somehow not one of them concerned why she was doing what she was doing—why she trusted her mysterious guide that many might chalk up to hallucination. No, her thoughts were only of Kevin, and how he needed her. How she needed him. And so she unquestioningly walked on.

***

“It’s hard to explain, but I’ve just been having this feeling that somewhere along the line, I broke away from my intended path, if that makes any sense. Like… I can’t help but feel like there’s another world out there or something. Another version of this world, just different maybe. I don’t know. I’ve been seeing things, Stephanie. I’ve been having these dreams that seem to be trying to tell me something—trying to help me…disappear.” 

***

The knocks ceased once Stephanie reached a clearing in the trees. In the midst of the sea of trees, there suddenly appeared what seemed to be this perfect circle that had been cleared. The only exception was a single tree, positioned exactly at the center of the round clearing. Rooted to the spot where she stood along the periphery of the clearing, Stephanie furrowed her brow and narrowed her vision, peering closely at the solitary tree standing before her. 

“What in the hell could have made that?” she questioned aloud, in reference to the massive symbol that was carved (branded?) into its trunk: an enormous X that must have spanned six feet from top to bottom, with two perfectly uniform intersecting lines, each about three inches in width. The central intersection was just slightly above Stephanie’s eye level.

***

“What happens in your dreams, Kevin? And what do you mean by ‘disappear’?”

“I think there’s a—a portal somewhere. They tell me. They say they want to show me. They’re trying to help me.” 

“Who? Who, Kevin?”

***

“This is it, Steph. This is the place. You found me. Won’t you join me now?” The voice again. Kevin’s voice, but different now: less muffled, more natural, as if he were standing there, right in front of her. “Come closer.” 

“Kevin, are you here? What the hell is this? Why did you bring me here? Did you do this to this tree?” 

“I finally feel okay. They gave me the freedom and relief I’ve been craving. I get to choose my path now. They showed me how.”

“Who, dammit? Kevin, you’re scaring me. Oh God, is this even real?” Stephanie began to wonder if this wasn’t just another one of the dreams. It seemed like a ridiculous question, but she had to ask: 

“Are you alive? I just want to see you.”

“I am here, but in a different here. The tree is theirs, the Guardians’. This is real, and I’ve never been more alive. I know you want it, too. Just trust them, Steph. Follow them.”

Out of the blue, Stephanie sensed the presence of two hulking beings, one on each side of her. She felt the pressure of massive, powerful hands resting gently on her shoulders, but she couldn’t see the two giant Guardians when she turned to either side. Then she was being softly urged forward by the pressure of those hands on her shoulders, towards the tree at the center of the clearing. Now that they were in motion, Stephanie was able to somewhat make out the figures of the Guardians moving alongside her. At least, she could identify, in places if the lighting was just right, where the beings ended and the open air began.

“I’m following, Kevin. I would like to choose my path, and I’d very much like for it to be joined with yours.”

“X marks the spot.”

Stephanie was led by the Guardians towards the tree, zeroed in on the center of the X. Reaching the tree, Stephanie walked right through, and was delivered into Kevin’s waiting arms.

“I found you.”