Dearly Beloved

Dearly Beloved

I have many friends and have always been very sociable. Maybe that’s why I was always asked to be the bride’s maid or maid of honor at many friend’s weddings. Of course, I always felt honored, yet secretly felt that that marriage was overrated.   Until one day later in my years I did take the plunge…but that’s another story.

My first invitation to be a bride’s maid was at my cousin’s 2^nd wedding. She instructed me to wear whatever I wanted and to just get there a day before and be happy for her. The wedding took place in Norfolk Virginia at a very nice hotel. I decided on a black floor length dress; back out and hair well-coiffed I was looking fly… The posh banquet room accommodated all of the family and my cousins’ adult children and guest. We partied and enjoyed the celebration. There were no guests present from the groom’s side of his family… Which I thought odd. However, the groom was handsome in his white suit, and white shoes. He appeared somewhat mysterious, yet in conversation I found him to be a seasoned traveler and very quiet. The bride, my cousin all in white, looked beautiful. It was her day, and she was all controlling, lively and in charge.  She was well accomplished in her own right, and they did look good together.  My cousin said he worked for the government and was contracted out to be a foreign service worker or something like that. And he would disappear over in Saudi Arabia from time to time.  They lived between Virginia and NY with residences in both places…The marriage lasted several years and then poof, it ended in divorce.

 Fast forward a few years later, my boyfriend at the time had a sister who was getting married, and she asked me to be in the wedding as one of her bride’s maids.  This took place in LA, she asked me my size and the dress and shoes were all provided. It was a white flouncy   lacy short dress with matching shoes. Not my taste, but it was her preference, and she was the bride. We flew to LA, from NY. And the wedding was a church wedding.  Well attended by both the groom and bride’s family and friends.  The reception and party afterwards were very Trinidadian… an abundance of good food, we danced all night and into the next day. Not sure if this couple have uncoupled, as I broke up with this boyfriend shortly afterwards and lost contact.

I had grown up with a set of fraternal twins in grade school. We remained friends through high school, college, and beyond. They decided to have a double ring ceremony at a country club in Westchester NY. I was asked by one to be one of the brides’ maids. There were 7 of us. We all had our pre-selected attire designed and created with a very Afrocentric theme, colorful and beautiful.    Everyone knew each other from High School and all the friendships were fun because the twins were very popular, and well-traveled ladies by this time, so the affair was like the United Nations. Again, a great reception, lots of toasts, laughter and joy! We partied hearty as they used to say back in the day!  Today one of the twins is still married and the other one is happily divorced.

 One of my very best friends also from grade school; we remained besties through a lot of travel and career ups and downs. I was asked to be her maid of honor this was also her 2^nd marriage. This entailed much more than the other nuptials I participated in. I had to get to Miami and at the time I was short of funds, and couldn’t afford a plane ticket, so I took the train from NY…..What an excursion! Her affair was Barbie doll perfect: a beautiful, elegant venue, picture perfect wedding dress, professional photographer, and a live band. The groom cooked the rehearsal dinner, which was delicious and fun. They were a beautiful interracial couple, he looked like Ken in his military dress blues, and she was a beautiful and stunning Black Barbie. My attire for this wedding was a gold sequenced cocktail dress with matching gold shoes, up do hair style and again I looked fabulous. This couple is still together after more than twenty years and have weathered and survived many storms, literally and figuratively.

This is my last account of being a part of nuptial ceremonies and the like, I promise! My best friend from college asked me to be the director of her wedding party, she said she would have chosen me to be her maid of honor, but she said family comes first. So, she decided on the older sister also known as the first lady of the church she belonged to, because her husband was the preacher man who would preside over the day. She said I could wear anything except red. I decided on an Ivory dress with a high neck collar, and it was cocktail length, very conservative, because they were staunch church going folks.

However, this was the most incredible wedding in my bride’s maid career. It was held at a Pentecostal church in the busy Boogie down Bronx borough of New York city.  This was both the groom and brides second marriage. Before the wedding started, I noticed that two men outside were fighting, one got his head bashed, first on the car hood then again on the sidewalk. All this happened while the preacher looked on through the glass as he polished the church front door window glass. He just shook his head and said, “these things happen in this neighborhood all the time.”

As the director for this wedding, I was responsible for making sure all the logistics of the wedding were handled seamlessly and in real time. From the procession to the reception dinner afterwards.   I take my post at the back of the church vestibule and signal the wedding party that we are about to start the procession. I spot the preacher standing in full regalia at the altar, he has a peculiar look on his face probably thinking about the violent fight he just witnessed outside his door, just a few minutes ago.

There were a few changes, the flower girl hadn’t shown up, so I had to scuttle around and find a replacement and decided on a stand in for her. Which was the lovely special needs daughter of the preacher and the matron of honor was the replacement. She looked sweet in a white satin dress, a flowered headband and was given a beautiful basket of flower petals. The young groomsmen and brides’ maids were all family members, and the organist was the cousin of the bride It was truly a family affair. On the groom’s side there were his parents, his sister and a nephew. The month is May and the groom’s mother had a mink stole around her shoulders, she looked uncomfortable, and the groom’s dad stared stoically ahead as if he were waiting for it all to be over quickly. The quests all arrived and were seated, a very diverse group assembled to witness the nuptials of this very serious intentional couple.

The bride wore a beige full-length gown, of satin and lace. The groom was handsome in a Navy-blue suit. The flower girl receives her cue to walk down the aisle and nervously places the petals at each pew, she walks fast and places the petals in large amounts and soon realizes that she is out of flower petals and runs to her dad who is at the altar, he hugs her and tells her, “It’s ok baby you did good.” He takes her hand and guides her where to stand. The congregants all smile and say, “ahhh how sweet!”  The groom’s men and brides’ maids proceed down the aisle and take their places at the altar. As the wedding march music heats up into a gospel type, rhythm not the traditional bridal music. The bride makes her descent down the aisle looking very purpose driven and happy, as the handsome groom looks on. Suddenly there is a thud at the altar, one of the young groomsmen collapses. I rush up to the front of the church not sure what to do. And the organist, who is the mother of the young groomsmen, leaves the organ jumps down to the altar and bends over the boy calling his name. She asks for a spoon as someone goes upstairs to the kitchen brings back a spoon and towel, she wraps the towel around the spoon and quickly shoves it into his mouth. It was then I realized the young boy was an epileptic. I quickly ask everyone to take their seats and the minister steps up and says let us pray….. He finishes off a very spirited heart felt prayer and the congregation shouts out” healing Lord” praise God!” The boy recovers and the mom resumes the playing of the wedding march, and the bride Starts down the aisle again and takes her place. They are married. And seemingly are living happy lives.

In my history of being a bridesmaid/maid of honor in many friend’s weddings…. this was quite a “What a Day Day!”