Butterflies

“Look Jesse all I want to know is why you pushed Phillip at school today.” Hugh sighed, silently pleading for his seven year old son to reply. Jesse pouted and tuned in his chair not wanting to answer.

“You`re not in any trouble you just need to tell me why, please?” This was getting him nowhere and he knew it, but he also knew how to make his son talk when he had no other options.

“If you tell me what happened I’ll get you the newest issue of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic.” at this his son perked up so Hugh knew now was his chance to get his sons confession,

“but only if you tell me why you pushed Phillip and you apologise to him, nicely.” It was Jesse's turn to sigh as he rolled his eyes at his dads’ words.

 “Fine but it was his fault not mine. Lip picked all the flowers from the school garden then gave them to Eve, EVE! I spent ages with the teacher and Eddie planting those flowers, they were so pretty dad, and Lip just picked them all and gave them to her. It just was not fair! What is so great about Eve, I mean she’s ginger, GINGER! What is with that? Why does he like her so much?”

“But you pushed your friend and you know that’s not fair. I raised you better than that, Jesse. Phillip was very upset about it and he thinks you hate him now” Jesse looked up at his dad with his big brown eyes filled that with worry as soon as he heard what his dad said.

“Is he okay? He must know I do not hate him. It is just he makes me so angry sometimes, dad. Like, why did he give Eve the flowers, and why does he make me feel all funny. Remember that time I got sent home from school and you gave me into trouble for pretending to be sick I really was not pretending, it was Lip. He made my tummy feel all weird after he let me use his purple crayon and he never lets anyone use his crayon, no one dad. No one but me.” Hugh was frowning a crease between his eyebrows, unsure of what his son was saying.

“He makes you feel funny?”

“Yes, dad all funny with his stupid crayon and bad jokes and his pretty face.”

“Pretty face?” Jesse gave him a confused look.

“His yucky face dad, I said yucky.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“DAD! I said yucky, Lip is annoying and makes me feel funny remember! He’s bad news dad” Hugh started to smile as he finally realised what his son trying to tell him.

“Jesse are you feeling butterflies in your tummy?” Jesse looked at him for a second as if his dad were mad before he burst out laughing.

“Dad don’t be silly you can’t eat butterflies, that’s bad.”

“That didn’t stop you though, did it.”

“That was one time! Plus, it wasn’t even my fault, Scott dared me to eat it, I swear.” Hugh laughed as he pulled his son onto his lap and looked him in the eye.

“It is okay Jesse this a good thing, their nice butterflies that will make you happy. They tell you when you are in love with someone. It`s like a twist in your gut or feeling your stomach drop, or in your case it`s like a million butterflies are in your tummy making you feel nervous, excited, and happy all at once as well as a hundred different things all just from talking to that one special person. It helps remind you that you are alive. Then as you get older it gets worlds more complicated but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Love is joy and fear, and sacrifice and pain, but it’s not in vain. It’ll all be worth it.” Hugh`s eyes started to glaze over.

“Is that how you felt with

mum?” Hugh smiled sadly before nodding,

“Your mother was a very special lady. She brought me you, didn’t she? I wouldn’t change a thing about either of you. I was very lucky.” Jesse turned to his dad and buried his head into his chest.

“I miss her dad”

“I do too, she would be so proud of you if she saw you know, so proud.” They sit for a minute before Hugh clears his throat,

“Now Jesse if this boy makes you feel like this you should tell him your sorry, you don’t want to lose him so quickly.”

The next day at school Jesse ran up to Phillip and apologised as best he could, hoping above anything that Phillip wouldn’t hate him.

“Lip I am so sorry I pushed you, I didn’t mean it I was just angry please don’t be mad at me Lip, please, please, please! I didn`t mean it. I don’t hate you.” Phillip gave Jesse a sweet smile before he pulled him into a hug telling him it was okay and that he forgave him. When Phillip pulled away, he was smiling from ear to ear, the way only a child can before they are forced to experience the world. Then Phillip started blushing madly as he quietly asked Jesse,

“Will you hold my hand?” and that’s when Jesse's whole face light up with the light of the sun as he grabbed Philips hand in his own. Jesse looked at him softly before whispering, “Thank you”

It was a few weeks later when Jesse finally worked up the courage to ask Phillip the one question he had wanted too, ever since the day he pushed him. He didn’t know if he was excited or not, but he did know that being the mature seven and a half he was, he needed the answer and so help him he would get one if it was the last thing he would do. Jesse walked up to Phillip with as much determination as he could fit in his tiny body. He grabbed his friends’ hand, looked him in the eye and asked,

“Do you feel the butterflies?”