Jenna's Famous Bread

MONICA DO NOT READ THIS! DELETE THIS FILE AND OPEN THE SECOND ONE I SENT YOU!

Hey Monica, you’ve been asking for me to bring rolls for ages so I figured I would send you my bread recipe. That way you can make them for the next family gathering. I know bread is intimidating but I am going to leave you notes so it should be easy. If you have any questions I am only a text or call away. Bread making isn’t something just for little old ladies! It’s a life skill, 20 year-old “pretend adults” can do it too.

Preferred Ingredients

2 Cups warmed Milk

1 TABLEspoon Yeast 

½ TABLEspoon Sugar plus another ¼ Cup latter on

2 TEAspoons Salt

2 TABLEspoons Butter

4-6 Cups of Flour I know this isn’t an exact measurement but bread is kind of alive so you’ll find you use a different amount every time. Or maybe that’s just me. 

1 Egg (Optional)

Substitutions

Gran said during the depression they would use water and powdered milk since milk was so expensive. My mom used to use water since Teddy is lactose intolerant, I haven’t experimented with milk alternatives so if you try it for Teddy let me know how it goes. I also read a post theorizing you could use any liquid like juice or soda, I haven’t personally tried this so if you do I would be interested in how that tastes.

I like sugar but mom and gran used honey and once in a pinch I used brown sugar.

Oil is oil is oil, so if you want to be a little healthier use olive oil or canola oil. Just please for the love of you and Teddy don’t use lard or coconut oil. I read somewhere that coconut oil is the worst for your health. 

Since you and Teddy go out a lot more than I do you might be able to get actual bread flour. Personally it doesn’t make economic sense for me to buy flour just for bread but you do you. If you want to make it a little healthier you can also use whole wheat flour but I haven’t found a grocery store that both delivers and carries whole wheat flour. 

Steps

• Go ahead and take your warm Milk (or other warm liquid) and put it in a large bowl and add in your Yeast and that little ½ Tablespoon of Sugar. Let that sit, covered for about 15 minutes or until it gets nice and foamy. Your house will start to smell yeasty at this point. Try to convince Teddy that it’s not beer! During those 15 minutes, get that text-ignoring brother of mine to text me back. I feel like he only ever talks to me to try and convince me to go outside. It’s been ages, and it’s just easier if you guys come over.

• To your Yeast Water add Sugar, Salt, melted Butter, and your first Cup of Flour. Mix all that in and start adding more Flour one Cup at a time. You will keep adding Flour until it becomes a sticky dough. I like to wear gloves for this next part since I don’t like the texture and it gets under your nails. One time, half way through this step I ran out of flour and had to wait for more to be delivered. Those were the fluffiest loaves I’ve ever made. I tried to recreate it again but it never turned out as good. 

• Flip that sticky dough down onto a floured surface and start kneading. To knead you need to Fold, Push, Rotate and Repeat. If that doesn’t make sense, look up a tutorial. I can't explain it any easier. Do that until it gets springy and bounces back when pressed on. After that turn it over into a greased bowl, cover with a hand towel, and set in a warm place. 

• Leave it alone for 2 hours or until it doubles in size. I saw a cute post that used those 2 tablespoon medicine measuring cups to see how much it has risen. I know you won’t see this until I send it to you but I just got your text and I will let you know I can go outside. I am not scared of my neighbors. There is no reason for you and Teddy to be worried. So while waiting for my bread to rise I am going to go outside and walk down to the corner. The one with that stop sign Teddy stole when we were in highschool, take a selfie and send it to you. You can go do errands or nap during this step. I have a selfie to take.

• So, I didn’t make it to the garden gate. I know this is a safe neighborhood, but at the end of my porch my chest got tight, and it was difficult to breathe. Last time I had a panic attack was the last time I went to the grocery store. I grew up in this neighborhood, I know it’s safe, but still. Maybe you and Teddy have a point… But the bread! After it has risen, punch it down and separate it. I usually do two loaves but you can do rolls, or a twist. Knead those parts a little then shape them. Put them in your pan and leave them for 10 minutes. I need to call you or Teddy. Maybe find a teletherapist. 

Jesus Jen, you should never publish a cookbook, but Ted is laughing at this. Just so you know I am posting this on my blog so please finish it and give my readers a little update on your “Jenna vs the big wide world.” adventures.

• Oh God Monica, I am so sorry you were never supposed to see this. Let me finish the recipe and give your readers a little update. Preheat your oven to 350 F and bake your bread until almost done, 10-15 minutes, it will start to turn a dusty brown. Pull it out and brush scrambled eggs on top. I am telling you now there is no substitute for fresh duck eggs. Anne over at the community garden has ducks that help with pest control. Yes! I said community garden. This will give your bread a shiny, chewy crust. If you don’t want to do that, since Teddy is no longer lactose intolerant you can brush on butter after it comes out of the oven. 

• I have been experimenting with some fresh herbs from the community garden down the street, Anne has been wonderful helping me with everything. Our other neighbor gave me a jar with a sourdough starter.They’re really sweet. I will have to make some sourdough rolls and bring them over for you and Teddy this weekend. 

Love you Monica and I will send you an easier to read version of this recipe. We can practice your kneading next weekend if you’re not busy. Tell that idiot brother of mine that I love him too!

• Jenna “big wide world conqueror”