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Black Fiction African American

Echoes of Silence

The city had a way of swallowing you whole. Javier knew this. It chewed people up, spit them out, and kept moving, indifferent to the shattered lives left behind. From the window of his crumbling apartment, he could see the train tracks—always moving, always carrying people away from where he was stuck.

Javier had been stuck for a long time.

His hands rested on the window ledge, rough fingers tracing the cracks in the peeling paint. The weight of the world pressed on his shoulders, but it wasn’t the weight of bills or bad luck. It was the weight of a promise he couldn’t keep, the weight of guilt that poisoned his soul. He had watched too many people fall, seen too many graves fill with the bodies of those he had sworn to protect. And now, it was his son’s turn.

Six years old. Gone.

The funeral had been small. No one really came. They didn’t throw parades for people like him or his son. No media coverage. No stories. Just a few people, nodding their heads with solemnity, murmuring something about how “he’s in a better place now.” As if they knew. As if they knew what it was like to lose everything in the blink of an eye.

Javier sat in the back row at the funeral. He couldn’t bear to look at the tiny casket, couldn’t bear to face the reality that his son was inside. The boy who once laughed in his arms, ran through the apartment with his little toy trucks, and slept beside him on nights when the city’s chaos was too loud to block out. Now, he was a lifeless body under a lid that Javier couldn’t bring himself to open.

But what hurt the most was the silence. The house used to be filled with the sound of his son’s voice, asking endless questions about life, about the stars, about why the world was the way it was. Now, the silence was deafening. It rang in his ears, keeping him up at night, driving him to the brink of madness.

His mind took him back to that day—the day it all went wrong. It was a rainy afternoon, the kind of day when you just want to stay inside and watch the world blur behind a sheet of water. Javier’s son had wanted to go out, wanted to explore the world, as he always did. The boy had an energy that couldn’t be contained, and even Javier’s sternest “no” couldn’t keep him inside.

They’d walked down the block, his son skipping ahead, laughing and splashing in puddles. For a moment, just a moment, Javier had let his guard down, smiling at the sight of his boy’s pure joy. But then, the screech of tires, the flash of headlights, and everything went dark.

He was too slow. Too late. His son had been a few steps ahead, too quick for Javier to pull him back in time. The doctors said it was quick, that he didn’t feel pain, but what did they know? How could they know? Javier’s world ended the moment his son’s body hit the pavement.

The days blurred together after that. Every morning, he woke up, hoping for a different reality, hoping to find his son in his bed, under the covers, asking for breakfast. But every day was the same—cold, empty, and silent.

His apartment had become a tomb, a place where memories hung in the air like ghosts, haunting him at every turn. The little toy trucks his son loved to play with still lay scattered on the floor. His shoes, too small to ever be worn again, sat by the door. Javier couldn’t bring himself to touch any of it, couldn’t bring himself to erase the last traces of the only thing that had ever given his life meaning.

And so he drank.

The whiskey dulled the pain for a while, numbed the sharp edges of his grief, but it was never enough. The bottle became his only friend, the only thing that stayed with him through the long, agonizing nights. He spent his days stumbling through the streets, head down, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He avoided eye contact, avoided conversation. The people around him kept living, kept moving, as if nothing had happened. As if his world hadn’t just been ripped apart.

But sometimes, someone would glance his way. Just a flicker of recognition, a flash of pity, before they turned their attention back to their own lives. He hated that. He hated the pity. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want their empty words or their sympathetic glances. He just wanted his son back.

Then, one day, she moved in next door.

Yara.

Javier hadn’t paid much attention to the new tenants in the building. People came and went all the time, trying to escape the city’s grind, but never quite making it out. But Yara was different. She had a presence about her, a quiet strength that made her stand out in the crowd. And she had a daughter.

A little girl, maybe four or five years old, with the same bright eyes and infectious laugh that his son had once had. Every time he saw her, it was like a knife twisting in his chest. She reminded him too much of what he had lost. He tried to avoid them, tried to stay locked inside his apartment, but it was impossible.

Yara was persistent.

She saw through him from day one, saw the cracks in his armor, the pain that he tried to drown with alcohol and isolation. And she didn’t leave him alone. Every now and then, she would knock on his door, offering him a plate of food, a kind word, a simple, “How are you holding up?” He never answered. Just nodded, grunted, took the food, and shut the door behind him. But she kept coming back.

One night, after yet another failed attempt to drown his sorrows in whiskey, there was a knock at the door. He stumbled to answer it, bleary-eyed and half-drunk, only to find Yara standing there with her daughter in tow.

“You can’t keep living like this,” she said, her voice soft but firm.

Javier grunted, rubbing a hand over his face. “What do you know about it?”

“I know you’re hurting,” she said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. Her daughter wandered into the hallway, playing with a toy she had brought along. “But this… this isn’t the way.”

“I don’t have a choice,” he muttered, collapsing onto the couch. The room swayed around him, the whiskey making everything hazy.

“There’s always a choice, Javi,” she said, sitting beside him. She placed a hand on his arm, a gentle touch that made him flinch. “Don’t let this city kill you.”

He laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. “It already has.”

The weeks passed, and Yara continued to knock on his door, continued to bring him food, continued to check on him, even when he tried to push her away. He didn’t understand why she cared. Why would she bother with someone like him, a man who was already half-dead inside? But she did. Every day, she came by, offering a small piece of hope, even if he wasn’t ready to accept it.

One night, after another long stretch of drinking, Javier found himself standing at the edge of the train tracks. The bottle was empty, his mind was foggy, but one thought was clear: it was time to end it. Time to stop fighting.

The train was coming. He could hear it in the distance, the low rumble of wheels on steel, the sound that always seemed to echo through his apartment late at night. He stepped closer to the edge, his toes hanging over the rails, his heart pounding in his chest. This was it. This was how it would end. Quietly, without fanfare, just like his son’s life had ended.

He closed his eyes, the wind whipping through his hair, the sound of the train growing louder, closer. But then, a voice cut through the noise.

“Javi!”

He opened his eyes, turning to see Yara running toward him, her face pale with fear.

“What the hell are you doing?” she shouted, grabbing his arm and pulling him back from the edge just as the train thundered past.

“Let me go,” he muttered, trying to shake her off.

“No,” she said, her grip tightening. “You’re not doing this.”

“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice breaking. “You have your daughter. You have a reason to keep going. Mine’s gone.”

Yara’s eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t let go. “I know you miss him. But he wouldn’t want this. You think he’d want to see you like this? You’re breaking, Javi. You’re disappearing.”

“I already disappeared,” he whispered, his legs giving out beneath him. He sank to the ground, his hands shaking, the weight of his grief finally too much to bear. “I’m nothing without him.”

Yara knelt beside him, her voice soft but firm. “You’re not nothing. You’re still here. You’re still alive. And I know it’s hard—I know it feels impossible—but you can’t let this city take you too.”

For the first time in years, Javier let the tears fall. He let the grief wash over him, the anger, the guilt, the overwhelming sadness—all of it came crashing down. And for the first time, Yara didn’t leave. She stayed, her hand resting on his shoulder, her presence a steady anchor in the storm of his emotions.

The city was still broken, still cold and indifferent, but maybe—just maybe—there was a way to survive. To keep going, even with the weight of the world pressing down. Maybe, with Yara’s help, Javier could learn to live with the silence instead of letting it consume him.

Because in the end, the silence wasn’t about forgetting. It was about remembering the ones you lost and carrying them with you, even when everything else tried to pull you under.

Javier stood up, the sound of the train fading into the distance. Yara was right. He couldn’t let the city take him, too. Not yet.

October 10, 2024 15:39

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