Recipe for An Unknown Stranger

Submitted into Contest #270 in response to: Write a story in the form of a recipe.... view prompt

2 comments

Creative Nonfiction Drama Suspense

Ingredients

A comfortable fall evening in Los Angeles, CA

1-  Lovely married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Davis; the woman is a teacher, and the man is a graphic designer

1- Brick six-story apartment building with a cloth arched entryway located on Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles, CA

A young man at the apartment lobby desk

About thirty people standing in front of the apartment building

Loud mumbling of unhappy apartment residents

 Old Spaghetti Factory Restaurant, located in Santa Monica

1 -Scene from the 1980 movie The Hunter starring Steve McQueen being filmed at the apartment

Actor Steve McQueen sitting in a director’s chair

An old burgundy 1970 16 TA Renault with bumper hanging off 

A small, intimate restaurant across from MacArthur Park

¼ of a brown paper bag with a handwritten note

1 nameless woman

2 phone calls

2 car repair estimates

A courier that drives a VW

1 brown package with a business envelope inside

Directions

  • First, take the comfortable fall evening in October and have Mr. Davis waiting for his wife to return her teaching assignment at Pilgrim School.

  • Next, Mr. Davis should wait outside in front of the apartment building where he and his wife live, 636 Wilshire Blvd.

  • Arrange about thirty residents of the apartment building around Mr. Davis so that he is in the middle of the people. 

  • Then, have the young man who works the apartment's lobby desk come outside and tell everyone that they can only go to their apartments once the film crew stops filming a scene of the Hunter movie.

  • Insert mumbling from the residents complaining about what to do, where to go, and not being treated right. 

  • Next, have Mrs. Davis pull up to the front of the apartment and ask what's going on.

  • Then, have Mr. Davis run out from the crowd of residents, waving at his wife to go to the corner. Next, have him tell his wife what the lobby desk guy told everyone. Have Mrs. Davis ask what they are supposed to do.

  • Have the lobby desk guy tell everyone they must move because a scene is getting ready to be filmed in the front of the building.

  • Get Mr. and Mrs. Davis to find a parking space near the Mexican restaurant around the corner so they can have dinner.

  • Next, after they park, have the couple look around the corner and stare at Mr. McQueen sitting in the director’s chair under the canopy of the apartment building. He’s wearing a green bomber jacket and jeans.

  • The Mexican Restaurant is full, so direct The Davises to the Old Spaghetti Factory 10 miles away.

  • On their return home, guide them to a parking space around the corner in front of an intimate restaurant across from MacArthur Park. 

  • Stir Mrs. Davis from her dreams and have her quickly prepare for the day. As she gets ready to get in her old 1970 burgundy Renault, she notices that the bumper on the car is hanging off with a note written on ¼ of a brown bag stuck in the windshield. Have her read the note that says. Sorry about your bumper. Please call me at 818-223-9056. After reading the note, have her get her husband to see and hear about the bumper situation and secure the bumper so she can get to work.

  • Once at the Pilgrim School, where she works, insists that Mrs. Davis call the number on the note.

  • Gather her teacher friends around so they can read the note and be full of intrigue.

  • Have Mrs. Davis take notes during the call and drink water before dialing the number because she is nervous.

  • Direct Mrs. Davis to sit down as she dials. Once there is a response, have her say, “ Hello. Is this the person who left a note on my car?” A woman’s voice said, “Yes, and please do not call your insurance. I don’t want my husband to know about this. He must not find out I was having dinner two hours from home at that intimate Italian restaurant last night. It was late, I had too much wine, and I hit your car. I’m sorry.”

  •  Instruct Mrs. Davis to ask, “So what am I supposed to do since you don’t want me to contact my insurance?” “ Call me back when you get an estimate, then we will discuss how I will get you the money, " the nameless woman responded.

  • Have Mrs. Davis share everything the nameless woman said to her with Mr. Davis.

  • Once the Davis couple discusses the situation, have them get two estimates for the bumper repair, giving the nameless woman the larger of the two.

  • Tell Mrs. Davis to call the nameless woman and give her the $4,000 estimate.

“ Hello, I have the estimate for you. How do you want me to get it to you?”  

“ No need to do that…paper trail. How much will the repair cost?” 

“$4,000.

“What is your address?”

“Why?”

            “ So I can have a courier deliver the cash to you?”  

“ No check or money order?” 

“ What did I just say? Nothing to leave a paper trail.”

“636 Wilshire Bl., Apt 306, Los Angeles, CA. 90017.

“What time will you be home tomorrow?”

“ Two o'clock and have the courier leave it with the man at the lobby desk.” 

“ It will be in a brown business envelope.” 

“ I will call you when I have it.”

“ No, call if you don’t get it. My courier will let me know when it is left with the man at the desk. I hope this is the last time we speak, so thank you for working with me. 

“ You are welcome…Click

  • Allow the Davis couple to rest, as best they can, until tomorrow comes.

  • Remind Mr. Davis that he will be home when the courier arrives since he works late.

  • Encourage Ms. Davis to drive safely home. She will be anxious about the courier’s delivery.

  • Have the couple huddle at their bedroom window, waiting to see the courier arrive.

  • Freeze the moment when the couple watches the courier get out of his VW and walk under the canopy of the apartment's entrance.

  • Control the anxiousness of  Mr. and Mrs. Davis as they take the elevator to the lobby.

  • Give Mrs. Davis a casual tone when she asks the lobby desk guy, “ Was a package delivered  for us?” “ Yes, a couple of minutes ago…here it is.”  “ Thank you so much.”

  • Stir their adrenaline to level it off once the package is in their possession.

  • Instruct the couple to take a mindful breath as they open the envelope in the comfort of their apartment.

  • Drain the shakiness from their bodies while counting the 100-dollar and 50-dollar bills totaling $4,000. 

  • Calm the couple’s emotions as they prepare to take the Renault to the repair shop that gave the $3,000 estimate.

  • Dress Mr. and Mrs. Davis in the quietness of their reality, knowing they acquired an unexpected windfall of $1,000 because of an unknown stranger. 

October 04, 2024 22:30

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2 comments

Zaire Rock-Lacy
01:47 Oct 10, 2024

I feel that this story followed the prompt very closely and correctly. There were minimal errors that I picked up on. The title is redundant. I love the way the story is structured as I originally struggled with my format.

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Oveta Jenkins
12:17 Oct 11, 2024

I was intrigued by the idea of writing a story in the form of a recipe, so I tried it, not knowing what would happen. Thank you for the compliment. Thank you for the comment about the title; I was focusing on not knowing the lady's name. Your comment about redundancy made me realize the better title would have been Recipe for an Unnamed Stranger. Bear with me while I explain. Suppose you know the name of a neighbor who lives down the street, Keith Collins, but you don't know him...he is a stranger. I will retitle my story An Unnamed Strange...

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