Concerning Neighbors

“Adele dear, how good to hear your voice! A whole week between Sunday’s is just too long to go without a proper chat,” Marge said as she picked up the phone receiver and wound the cord around her index finger.

“Don’t I know it! This house is simply too lonesome to not give my dear friend a mid-afternoon call!” Adele’s bright young voice held the tone of the same smile she would have borne if she had been talking to her friend in person. “Not to mention I have made every recipe I know a hundred times and desperately need some new inspiration.”

“I could give you all my recipes, but would James dare eat anything besides meat and potatoes? The man has very little sense of adventure.”

Adele’s voice took on a conspiratory tone as she replied, “Well, lord knows he can’t cook for himself so I don’t see that he has very much choice in the matter.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” chuckled Marge. “I’ll write up some of my favorites and bring them to church for you on Sunday. I should have my new dress stitched up in time to wear. My old blue Sunday dress is practically in tatters.”

“The more holey the dress, the closer to God, you know,” teased Adele.

“Not if I’m in danger of exposing my slip to the reverend as I stand up for the hymns!”

“Pish-posh, he could use some excitement! Maybe the sight of a slip would break the monotone of his sermons.”

“Adele! That statement borders on sacrilege!”

“I, for one, like to imagine that God has a sense of humor. I’d hate to think that the all-knowing God who created our very flesh would blush at a slip!”

“Adele Jenkins, I’m beginning to suspect that you’ve been in your husband’s whiskey cabinet!” Marge gasped indignantly.

“Oh, lighten up, Marge. Not everything is so serious. But,” Adele dropped her voice as if someone might be listening in the other room of her empty house, “I might have caught wind of something that is.” Marge could nearly hear the way her friend’s eyebrows moved up and down.

“Oh?”

“Do you know much about Mr. and Mrs. Harvey who live in the third house down from Brick Street?”

“Only what I can see from my kitchen window. Mrs. Harvey has a lovely side garden. Both of them must work outside the home since I see them leave one a few minutes after the other as I’m washing up the breakfast dishes.”

“If that’s all you’ve noticed in the year since they’ve moved in, I may have to consider encouraging the neighborhood to give you a new nickname. Marge, the hawk, Ellis simply isn’t fitting for someone who doesn’t notice her neighbor is having an affair!” Adele’s hushed tone rose a few notches in volume as she revealed the information.

“No! Who is the other woman?” inquired Marge.

“That’s the big mystery. No one has seen hide nor hair of her, but Mrs. Harvey swears that there has been another woman in her house. Her house of all places! They didn’t even bother to go somewhere discreet! Imagine being a working woman and assuming you husband was also steadfast and hardworking, only to find out that he has been sneaking home with another woman.” Adele dropped her voice again. “I’ve a suspicion that Mr. Harvey is going to find out very shortly that he didn’t know a good thing until it was gone. Mrs. Harvey is determined to catch him and the good lord only knows what she will do when she does.”

“If my Vern ever did such a thing he would quickly find that he knows how to cook a no better than James!” declared Marge. “But if no one has seen this woman then how does Mrs. Harvey even know that she’s being stepped out on? Surely the woman didn’t leave anything unmentionable behind after meeting with Mr. Harvey?”

“Oh no, nothing so concrete as that. She’s calling it woman’s intuition, but I wonder if wafts of unfamiliar perfume or something of the sort have set her onto them. It’s a wonder that any self respecting woman would do such a thing to another woman. There’s no chance that anyone would walk into that house and think that Mr. Harvey was single.”

“Too true, Adele dear. A woman’s touch in a home in unmistakable. And a wife’s carrys such a different quality than a mother’s who has tried to make a bachelor son’s apartment reasonable.”

“And no man in the country would keep a garden such as hers!” added Adele.

Marge paused on the other end of the phone, contemplating the information. “are there any suspicions as to who the woman might be?”

“A few far fetched ideas, but nothing that has stuck. She thinks it could be Selene, you know her, don’t you? She works as a secretary at the doctor’s office just a mile or two from here. She would be sure to know some,” Adele paused for effect, “Personal information about anyone who sees the doctor there if she were bold enough to peek in their files. Perhaps there was something in Mr. Harvey’s file that interested her.”

“Hm,” Marge thought of the young blond secretary with her red lipstick and rouged cheeks. That’s not a bad theory. Someone who is made up every day just to welcome the sick into a doctors office is definitely looking for some attention. “That seems a reasonable guess. Who else does she suspect?”

“That’s the best one, I think. The rest seem to random. If you ask me, Mrs. Harvey is near going out of her mind trying to figure it out. I think she is likely to call out of work and hide in her own home soon to catch them in the act!”

“I think that’s the only pertinent thing to do! Goodness knows that her husband will deny it to the very grave, as all men would. And no woman wants to go around the town accusing people of sleeping with her husband. Her social standing would crumble faster than burnt toast!”

“You have a point there Marge.” agreed Adele. “But would you look at the time? I feel as though I just finished cleaning up for lunch and now its nearly time for James to come home and he will be expecting dinner. You really must bring me some recipes on Sunday. I can’t stand to roast another chicken or mash another potato!”

“I’ll do that, Adele. Keep you ear to the ground for a local harlot stealing husbands. They are all susceptible, you know!” warned Marge.

“Double noted, dear. You as well. See you Sunday!”

“Likewise!”

Marge hung up the phone and quickly dialed another number. A cheery female voice answered, “Harvey and Associates Accounting, how may I help you?”

“Hello, I’m calling for Mr. Harvey. Please tell him its urgent.”